I Don't Date Outside of My Race...

[starang21]

Originally Posted by Confucius

^^^^^I agree. As for myself, I take what I can get.

^^^^^ too fly to settle

[Lady of Pearl]

I think its a matter of choice; love is colorblind I do believe, On one occasion during the Thanksgiving holidays when I was younger I recall my cousin bringing a white woman over to our family's house for dinner. My dad at the time was cordial and she seemed to fit right in with the family and even ate chitlins with us. Afterward, my Dad did say that he would not take too kindly to us marrying outside our race.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

A black African and black American can have tension if they act is if being on different continents constitutes huge differences in the "type of black" that they are rather than seeing themselves as part of the African diaspora. And if this is fueled by ignorance of black African and black American experiences and culture, it can be intrusive.

I assume you are a "white Latino" (in layperson's terms ) so it makes sense that this would translate into "racial" differences (rather that just cultural and ethnic) in your family's eyes. In this country and in Latin American countries, there is a great social divide between groups of people based on the color of their skin, features, and hair texture. So things like attractiveness and social status (i.e. the white privilege that people of European background receive all over the world) will be based on that. If you date someone of the African diaspora, familiarity with each other's "culture" would have to include acknowledging and discussing this without being too consumed with it.

This is so true. My husband (who's from Ghana) and I used to bump heads all the time when we first got married because of our perceived differences but we've since gotten over that. Now we embrace our likenesses and we can't believe how very alike we are despite our different upbringing. As for his family, they embraced me right away and have never had a problem with me being American although they did warn my husband that they would not be happy if he married a White woman, no matter where she was from.

[AKA2D '91]

ttt

[Ronnie B]

Originally Posted by Ania

Please help me.

Let me begin by saying, even though I not against most interracial dating, I am against a black man dating a white woman.

Why do I make two different statements that don't match? Because, to me a white woman dating a black man reinforces all of the negative stereotypes of why black men don't date black woman(fat, lazy, loud, ignorant, ghetto glued in weave with bright orange nails.) Basically, that black woman are not wanted, not even by their own race. Ok, I just put myself out in the spotlight to get hammered from all sides.

Now, let me make things more complicated. My uncle will be bringing over his fiance' for Christmas and yes she is white. Unfortunetly, my uncle was one of those men that went to college loving a black woman and leaning on a black woman for support but now, is making lots of money and you know the rest. He claims that he loves this woman and he is worried about how our family is going to act.

Let's just say, I know I am going to be the mediator but I don't want to be. I wish I could talk to my family before they show up. I know this is weird, but please help me keep my family from stepping out of line and hurting their feelings.

This is actually bothering me. Regardless of my personal feelings, I don't want my family to act ignorant. Was anyone in a similiar situation? What did you do? Even if not, what do you suggest?

I agree. I don't like interacial relationships either. I would never get serious with a white woman. I would just hit it and quit it.

[Ronnie B]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Personally, I simply date who I'm attracted to, whatever their race.

The only thing I take issue with is people who exclude certain races from their "dating pool" based on stereotypes. For example, black men who only date white women "because black women are lazy, ghetto, and make bad mothers." That's a stereotype. Or black women who won't date white men because "they think they're better than you, they're nerdy, or they smell like wet dog" That's also a steretype. If you're going to stick to certain races, that's fine. But don't base your choices on things that are ignorant and untrue.

Are you white? Or black?

[Ronnie B]

I'm a black dude. The reason why I couldn't get serious with a white woman, is because of the way it looks, especially in public. I would be ashamed of her. If she was tanned then maybe I would be partial to it, but if she was pale or red/pink, there's no way.

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by Ronnie B

I'm a black dude. The reason why I couldn't get serious with a white woman, is because of the way it looks, especially in public. I would be ashamed of her. If she was tanned then maybe I would be partial to it, but if she was pale or red/pink, there's no way.

Wow! So would you be ashamed of her only because she was pale or is it because you would be ashamed of the way people would react to you being black and her being a pale white woman? And why would you be partial to it if she were tanned? is it because she would look like she was a person of color eventhough she wasnt? So its okay as long as it "looks right"?

Im just having a hard time grasping this.

To the topic(s) at hand:
1. I've never dated outside of my race because i've never found a white or other guy attractive (as in someone i know not some celebs because there are definitely some guys of other races that make me wanna live in TV land) enough to hold my interest. Also it is really hard for any person who is not black to understand the complexity that is my blackness. Being black is so multifacited that only living in this black skin could allow you to understand and even then there is still so much that is not understood. For example to some black people (like myself) being a part of the political process is absolutely necessary to change the way that blacks are treated and viewed in america. While to other black people the political process is nothing more than a ploy to keep the black mind occupied on things that are not conducive to increasing black people's awareness and development. Although these are two very different opinions they are both very black and only a black person would be able understand and appreciate these things without me spending decades (or any amount of time) teaching them about them.
2. The interracial thing is only bothersome when it is done out of ignorance or spite or for reasons other than love. Personally i dont agree with ANY relationship regardless of race that is embarked upon for the wrong reasons.

[Ronnie B]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

Wow! So would you be ashamed of her only because she was pale or is it because you would be ashamed of the way people would react to you being black and her being a pale white woman? And why would you be partial to it if she were tanned? is it because she would look like she was a person of color eventhough she wasnt? So its okay as long as it "looks right"?

Im just having a hard time grasping this.

To the topic(s) at hand:
1. I've never dated outside of my race because i've never found a white or other guy attractive (as in someone i know not some celebs because there are definitely some guys of other races that make me wanna live in TV land) enough to hold my interest. Also it is really hard for any person who is not black to understand the complexity that is my blackness. Being black is so multifacited that only living in this black skin could allow you to understand and even then there is still so much that is not understood. For example to some black people (like myself) being a part of the political process is absolutely necessary to change the way that blacks are treated and viewed in america. While to other black people the political process is nothing more than a ploy to keep the black mind occupied on things that are not conducive to increasing black people's awareness and development. Although these are two very different opinions they are both very black and only a black person would be able understand and appreciate these things without me spending decades (or any amount of time) teaching them about them.
2. The interracial thing is only bothersome when it is done out of ignorance or spite or for reasons other than love. Personally i dont agree with ANY relationship regardless of race that is embarked upon for the wrong reasons.

It looks bad tanned or pale. I'm just sayin' that tanned white girls are more pleasing to look at than pale or red ones. But even they don't compare to black women. It especially looks bad when a black dude dates a white girl. Why? Because it makes him look weak to me. What's wrong with a strong sistah? I think a lot of black dudes who go out with white girls can't handle a sistah. Either that, or they believe in the stereotype of the "attitude" thing that black women are plagued with. Everyone has an attitude, it doesn't matter what color she/he is. If a black woman is with a white dude, it looks bad but not as bad, because some black women choose white dudes because they can't find a decent black dude. I just have strong views on it. Black dudes who court white girls are sell outs.

Oh yeah, I want to say one more thing. If a black women is with a white dude, he either has money or she hasn't had any luck with a black dude. There's no excuse for a black dude to be with a white girl though, because there are too many fine single sistahs out there who want a good black dude.

[TotallyWicked]

http://www.miamiherald.com/multimedi...rt2/index.html

interesting article (and videos) on Blackness and race relations in the Latino community, this could serve for a reason folks prefer one racial group over another.

[Honeykiss1974]

Money, education, class -- and of course straight hair -- can make dark-skinned Dominicans be perceived as more "white," she said. Many black Dominicans here say they never knew they were black -- until they visited the United States.

In a mess up kind of way, this part of the article TW posted made me chuckle. If someone is ever confused about what they are, leave it to the USA to let you know (even though we don't know ish - SMH)

But in general, that article made me sad. Wow.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by TotallyWicked

http://www.miamiherald.com/multimedi...rt2/index.html

interesting article (and videos) on Blackness and race relations in the Latino community, this could serve for a reason folks prefer one racial group over another.

About 2 years ago, there was a similar issue in Argentina who say there are no Black people in their country. Everyone knows that is untrue, but, that is the reality of things...

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by Ronnie B

It especially looks bad when a black dude dates a white girl. Why? Because it makes him look weak to me. What's wrong with a strong sistah? I think a lot of black dudes who go out with white girls can't handle a sistah. Either that, or they believe in the stereotype of the "attitude" thing that black women are plagued with.

Right on! I couldn't agree more since love and spiritual/social/physical/mental/emotional compatibility have nothing to do with what makes for a solid relationship/marriage.

[lovehaiku84]

I agree with Ronnie B to a certain extent. It does look bad/odd TO ME when I see a black man with a white woman, simply because so many black men who date white women will date them exclusively and parade them around like they are some sort of prize. I'm not down with that. However, because I come from a family that has had many interracial couplings, and as a person who is open to dating non-black men, I know that true love knows no color and I try to give those in interracial (specifically black men with other) relationships the benefit of the doubt.

[starang21]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Right on! I couldn't agree more since love and spiritual/social/physical/mental/emotional compatibility have nothing to do with what makes for a solid relationship/marriage.

what are you cosigning to? his comment on black men who date white women are weak?