Men and women and breakups: Dissapointment vs. Betrayal

silviabelt · #1 12-02-2007, 07:41 PM

I recently experienced a betrayal. My boyfriend of 12 years just started a relationship with a mutual friend that treated me like a friend and i love her son...took him to parks and had. I felt like I wasn't worthy as a woman since it was all a big shock to me. The last month he has broken all communication with her. We are tying to get passed this but it is really hard. i recently wrote her a letter letting her know that I feel betrayed by her as well and she went beyond moral and ethical boundaries as a friend a mother etc... how painful this esperience has been and how it has affected both of us negatively etc... Should I send this to her or not? I'm not sure it would be appropriate or not. I guess i'm looking for advice or answers to feel better.

tld221 · #2 12-02-2007, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silviabelt

I recently experienced a betrayal. My boyfriend of 12 years just started a relationship with a mutual friend that treated me like a friend and i love her son...took him to parks and had. I felt like I wasn't worthy as a woman since it was all a big shock to me. The last month he has broken all communication with her. We are tying to get passed this but it is really hard. i recently wrote her a letter letting her know that I feel betrayed by her as well and she went beyond moral and ethical boundaries as a friend a mother etc... how painful this esperience has been and how it has affected both of us negatively etc... Should I send this to her or not? I'm not sure it would be appropriate or not. I guess i'm looking for advice or answers to feel better.

decided to take it slow huh?

(sorry, couldnt help it)

umm seriously, call me naive and idealistic, but if you two were friends like that and you with the guy for 12 years, im going to need you to not write her a letter. be a bigger woman and confront her head on. i mean she took your man! 12 years and you punk up behind a letter?

cheerfulgreek · #3 12-02-2007, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

decided to take it slow huh?

(sorry, couldnt help it)

umm seriously, call me naive and idealistic, but if you two were friends like that and you with the guy for 12 years, im going to need you to not write her a letter. be a bigger woman and confront her head on. i mean she took your man! 12 years and you punk up behind a letter?

It sounds like he cheated on her with her close friend, but then again it sounds like they had already broken up. I'm just trying to figure out which one it is.

It sounds like she planned on stealing him from her all along without her knowing it. I'm surprised she didn't see any signs? I guess I would have to agree with you. Either way, I wouldn't write a letter either. It's not like it's going to change anything. 12 years is a long time, and I know it's easier said than done, but I would try and move on.

James · #4 12-03-2007, 04:02 AM

When we read about her shooting her friend we'll think back to your post

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

decided to take it slow huh?

(sorry, couldnt help it)

umm seriously, call me naive and idealistic, but if you two were friends like that and you with the guy for 12 years, im going to need you to not write her a letter. be a bigger woman and confront her head on. i mean she took your man! 12 years and you punk up behind a letter?

PrettyBoy · #5 12-03-2007, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

When we read about her shooting her friend we'll think back to your post

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7uLmEqeAk0

tld221 · #6 12-03-2007, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

When we read about her shooting her friend we'll think back to your post

no one is saying she has to resort to violence. but writing a letter... would be ok if she stole your man... in high school. which is probably how long yall have been friends/dating.

even if you did confront her, theres nothing she could say that makes it right. get another best friend. get another boyfriend. thats what myspace is for.

cheerfulgreek · #7 12-02-2007, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silviabelt

I recently experienced a betrayal. My boyfriend of 12 years just started a relationship with a mutual friend that treated me like a friend and i love her son...took him to parks and had. I felt like I wasn't worthy as a woman since it was all a big shock to me. The last month he has broken all communication with her. We are tying to get passed this but it is really hard. i recently wrote her a letter letting her know that I feel betrayed by her as well and she went beyond moral and ethical boundaries as a friend a mother etc... how painful this esperience has been and how it has affected both of us negatively etc... Should I send this to her or not? I'm not sure it would be appropriate or not. I guess i'm looking for advice or answers to feel better.

Was he your boyfriend while he was seeing her at the same time he was with you?

PrettyBoy · #8 12-03-2007, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silviabelt

I recently experienced a betrayal. My boyfriend of 12 years just started a relationship with a mutual friend that treated me like a friend and i love her son...took him to parks and had. I felt like I wasn't worthy as a woman since it was all a big shock to me. The last month he has broken all communication with her. We are tying to get passed this but it is really hard. i recently wrote her a letter letting her know that I feel betrayed by her as well and she went beyond moral and ethical boundaries as a friend a mother etc... how painful this esperience has been and how it has affected both of us negatively etc... Should I send this to her or not? I'm not sure it would be appropriate or not. I guess i'm looking for advice or answers to feel better.

Your friend didn't steal your boyfriend. He left on his own. You can't make him stay. Write a letter to her? Why? That's pointless. You literally thought about wasting your time to write a pointless letter to a trifling low down slut who claimed to be your friend who cares nothing about you? Move on to newer and better things. There's a lot of good men out there, and you'll find one. Just whatever you do don't go back to that low down joker you were with for 12 years. He'll be back, and you'll probably take him back. Most women make this stupid mistake, but if you do, all he's going to do is do it again. He's going to cheat on your friend too. Watch.

Good luck to you.

tld221 · #9 12-03-2007, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Your friend didn't steal your boyfriend. He left on his own. You can't make him stay. Write a letter to her? Why? That's pointless. You literally thought about wasting your time to write a pointless letter to a trifling low down slut who claimed to be your friend who cares nothing about you? Move on to newer and better things. There's a lot of good men out there, and you'll find one. Just whatever you do don't go back to that low down joker you were with for 12 years. He'll be back, and you'll probably take him back. Most women make this stupid mistake, but if you do, all he's going to do is do it again. He's going to cheat on your friend too. Watch.

Good luck to you.

i know you meant well PB but dayum if i aint LOL... and why the friend gotta be all that for? lol

PrettyBoy · #10 12-03-2007, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

i know you meant well PB but dayum if i aint LOL... and why the friend gotta be all that for? lol

Because she is. Why couldn't she get her own man?