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I think it depends on the breakup. I just ended things with a guy who we were having some issues. We discussed them over the phone and everything seemed okay and we were still making plans to see each other, then 3 hours later I get a nasty email and he is just chewing me to peices. He took on the "womans" role that James mentioned. What happened was that I was honest with him, I told him that I wanted to continue dating him to see where it would head but at this point in the relationship that I wasn't seeing marriage, kids and growing old together, which he was. My honesty hurt him and he lashed out. He started blaming me for everything that went wrong in the relationship (which I had said that I definately was at some fault). When I told him that I thought we should break up and take a step back and if we were truly "meant to be" we would be two weeks to two months from now, he did a 180 and started begging me not to break up and was saying everything was his fault.
I can't say I feel betrayed or really even disappointed. As crazy as this sounds I'm somewhat relieved. He was rushing the relationship (and all my friends and family are telling me it was because he has no family of his own) and I just wasn't ready to be "his family". Plus, I'm not sure how I entirely feel being with someone that insecure.
I can say though in other relationships when things end I definately have felt vindictive and upset, so I do agree with what you have said James.
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"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite our fears" John McCain
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
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