Raining on someone's recruitment parade

oldrusheenowmom · #1 08-12-2007, 06:23 PM

QUOTED from Auburnmom's FIRST post: I know that there are several GCer’s with friends/relatives rushing at Auburn this fall, so I figured if we all worked together, we could give you all enough details to keep you interested and tide you over until you get a real rush story (or at a minimal we can chat amongst ourselves while we wait for our daughter’s/relatives results)!

Sorry, I don't know how to do the quote thing- I believe she said "work together." I kind of think she was asking for others to join in and chat while WE wait for OUR (plural pronouns, I believe) results-- So I guess personally, I don't believe anyone could be guilty for changing the thread- I enjoyed learning about flowers, while Sweet Tea was in recruitment, and I wasn't offended, and I am guessing the op wasn't offended either.

UGAalum94 · #2 08-12-2007, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldrusheenowmom

QUOTED from Auburnmom's FIRST post: I know that there are several GCer’s with friends/relatives rushing at Auburn this fall, so I figured if we all worked together, we could give you all enough details to keep you interested and tide you over until you get a real rush story (or at a minimal we can chat amongst ourselves while we wait for our daughter’s/relatives results)!

Sorry, I don't know how to do the quote thing- I believe she said "work together." I kind of think she was asking for others to join in and chat while WE wait for OUR (plural pronouns, I believe) results-- So I guess personally, I don't believe anyone could be guilty for changing the thread- I enjoyed learning about flowers, while Sweet Tea was in recruitment, and I wasn't offended, and I am guessing the op wasn't offended either.

You honestly don't see a difference between a digression about what flowers will grow in the South and a complete critique of how groups at Auburn choose their members in the middle of the story of a girl who is having a great rush? The problem is not the additional stories as much as the content of the additional stories.

And I want to emphasize that I'm not trying to find anyone guilty; I just want us to do a better job in the future if we can. I happen to believe that if you are going to contradict the main story, you should go ahead and start your own thread. Why would that be bad? let the happy people tell their happy stories and let the critiques take place in a different thread.

1908Revelations · #3 08-12-2007, 06:40 PM

Starting new threads does not cost us a penny.

SECMom · #4 08-12-2007, 06:50 PM

I like the idea of starting a thread for mamas in pain.....unless you have a child who has been hurt like this you cannot imagine how it feels. A place to find support, especially from those who have "been there" would, IMO, be a good thing.

It would also be helpful to hear from girls who had survived this particular ordeal. We all know that life goes on, but in that particular moment you might not be so sure......

oldrusheenowmom · #5 08-12-2007, 06:56 PM

Sorry to disagree (not with Navane), I guess I see talking about Auburn recruitment as part of what Auburnmom asked for in her initial post- I didn't see anything wrong with flowers either- added some interest to the waiting (just like auburnmom suggested in her post too)- I think a gentle, "I disagree with your comments about Auburn recruitment and let's move the discussion, so those still involved in recruitment will continue to post here" would be appropriate-- I'm just saying that the initial post invited several stories- maybe the link should have immediately changed to "kate's recruitment story only."

1908Revelations · #6 08-12-2007, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldrusheenowmom

maybe the link should have immediately changed to "kate's recruitment story only."

The OP can not change the name of the thread, maybe a mod or super mod. But I do see what you are saying.

UGAalum94 · #7 08-12-2007, 07:13 PM

And we also have no indication from the OP that she wanted it to only be Kate's story. I don't even know that it bugged her. But it just seems like we could do better in the future, generally.

Highjacks unrelated to the thread while we wait, for me a yes. Who doesn't love a good what-does-the-Greenbook-say discussion?

Addition stories thrown in to complement the main story, for me, a yes. Who doesn't love to share the happiness or support?

Stories and highjacks that undercut the OPs experience, for me, start a new thread. Don't make a happy thread into your support group, don't make a support thread into how it all worked out for your niece.

Similarly, don't wear your wedding dress to a funeral or talk all about your ex-husband at a bridal shower.

oldrusheenowmom · #8 08-12-2007, 07:21 PM

yes- the point I was trying to make is that we don't know as the title was vague. Also, when one of the mom's added her daughter, it wasn't sad at the time (wasn't as positive as Kate's) but she hadn't been released yet--- this has been an interesting thread- and I do believe moms need a place to vent when things aren't going right, just like pnms need a place to ask questions before recruitment, and parents/sisters/friends need a place to share-- I just think we can all be a little more empathetic when we post our disagreements-- (side bar: unfortunately, the weather has just turned sunny 6:00 skies to stormy 9:00-like skies, and I won't be able to see the rest until later)--

Drolefille · #9 08-12-2007, 07:26 PM

I missed the to do, but saying it's ok to post similar stories, but not contradictory stories, doesn't make much sense to me.

And it sounds like mom was less supportive than destructive in her comments to her daughter. I'd be saying the same things to her that others have said here.

FSUZeta · #10 08-12-2007, 07:33 PM

i think that one point some might have missed is that even if the mother did make that statement to her daughter,(and we don't know if she did) it was already said and no amount of chastisement would reverse that. the mom was hurting, and if she did say those things, was probably feeling worse for saying them. gc'ers did not need to kick her when she was down. i hope that she was able to comfort her daughter-it must have been an awful time for both mother and daughter- and i think that the mom shared her feelings with us seeking comfort for herself.

i also wonder if the statement about whether auburn was the place for her daughter was said in the heat of the moment. perhaps she felt that if the sororities felt that her daughter would not fit into their chapters(trying to use her logic), then maybe she would not fit in anywhere at auburn-that she must not be the typical auburn student, since she did not receive a bid. we may not agree with the logic, but i would imagine that when something devastating like this happens-and yes, it can be devastating to some-there is a lot of second guessing that goes on amongst pnm and parents.