i need someone's opinion...

texas*princess · #1 08-06-2002, 08:49 AM

Ok, this is a relationship quesiton:

I've been dating this guy for about 2 years exclusively.. things are going great, but pretty soon (in a short amount of days) he will be graduating from college, and I will be transferring to another school.

Originally, he was going to go to the school I am going to transfer to, so that he can do some grad work and maybe get a job in that area. Unfortunately I don't think the grad school is going to work out because the school just told him he was missing stuff in his application (by the way, that stuff he is missing was NEVER mentioned on the application or anything)

So now everything has changed

He may be going home for a few weeks to find a job there or to use home as a place to sleep while he drives to Texas every other day to find jobs/interviews to be closer.

Well, I am totally devastated!!! I thought everything was going to work out so perfectly! And I'm really sad to see him go. I have 2 more years of college left, and I really want to stay with him.

Am I silly for wanting him to be close to me? I know it sounds kinda selfish, but I can't help but feel that way. I really care about him so much.

Engagement/marriage isn't in the picture anytime soon because we both agreed that we want to both be out of college so that we can have steady income.. but seeing people get engaged at this school.. and so in love... makes me want some sort of reassurance that we're not going to break up

Sorry for this being super long

Optimist Prime · #2 08-06-2002, 01:03 PM

write him a love letter. not email. Seal it with a kiss. Put perfume on it. He'll want to be with you.

wvapogirl · #3 08-06-2002, 01:17 PM

Talk to him about your concerns. Tell him what you just told us. If you guys are meant to be together, you'll find a way to work it out.

Nicole

jonsagara · #4 08-06-2002, 01:21 PM

I got engaged while still in school. Both she and I paid our ways through college, so it can be done if you both want it bad enough.

Truth be told, the engagement isn't the expensive part (except possibly the ring, of course) - it's the wedding that will drain you.

Best of luck to the both of you!

psusensei · #5 08-06-2002, 01:31 PM

my boyfriend goes to another school and will be graduating in one year while I have 2 more to go. we (probably) are going to stay together (with luck, if you read my other post...) for the remainder of this year, and although it is really hard, I try to make as much time for him as possible during the year when we aren't as close. we spend a lot of time talking on the phone and IM and try to visit one another often. it can be done, we did it successfully last year, and hopefully next year will go just as well, granted we do not break up before we go back to school.

Good Luck...go with what your heart says. If you find you would be more miserable without him than with him though far away...then you know what to do.

Holly5425 · #6 08-08-2002, 05:23 AM

You know what, EVERYTHING happens for a reason...even if you can't see it now. Maybe you two aren't meant to be together and your prince charming is waiting for you at your new school. Or maybe this is a test to see how strong your love it...I promise you, everything will work out in the end. Geez that was a corny post...please dont make fun of me

Peaches-n-Cream · #7 08-08-2002, 05:33 PM

It is easier to have a relationship when you are in close proximity to each other. It is not silly to want your boyfriend to be close to you. Will you be close enough to visit each other on the weekends? Maybe he will be able to find a job near your new college and eventually attend grad school there. Share your concerns with him. He probably has similar feelings.

Rudey · #8 08-08-2002, 05:35 PM

I hear sex really clears the mind so you can think about such pressing matters. I will make my services available to you, since you're from Texas. But you must be able to use a fire arm and talk repetitively about your BBQ on Christmas morning; otherwise, no deal!

-Rudey
--I'm too generous

Quote:

Originally posted by texas*princess
Ok, this is a relationship quesiton:

I've been dating this guy for about 2 years exclusively.. things are going great, but pretty soon (in a short amount of days) he will be graduating from college, and I will be transferring to another school.

Originally, he was going to go to the school I am going to transfer to, so that he can do some grad work and maybe get a job in that area. Unfortunately I don't think the grad school is going to work out because the school just told him he was missing stuff in his application (by the way, that stuff he is missing was NEVER mentioned on the application or anything)

So now everything has changed He may be going home for a few weeks to find a job there or to use home as a place to sleep while he drives to Texas every other day to find jobs/interviews to be closer.

Well, I am totally devastated!!! I thought everything was going to work out so perfectly! And I'm really sad to see him go. I have 2 more years of college left, and I really want to stay with him.

Am I silly for wanting him to be close to me? I know it sounds kinda selfish, but I can't help but feel that way. I really care about him so much.

Engagement/marriage isn't in the picture anytime soon because we both agreed that we want to both be out of college so that we can have steady income.. but seeing people get engaged at this school.. and so in love... makes me want some sort of reassurance that we're not going to break up

Sorry for this being super long

texas*princess · #9 08-08-2002, 06:00 PM

Rudey: I'm just going to ignore your comment and pretend you don't exist

Everyone else.. thanks.. I've realized I have to be strong for the both of us

still no word on what is going to happen *for sure* after he graduates (tomorrow) but the chances are that we might end up in the same area. If not, he'll be 5 hrs away (or a 1 hr. plane ride!) so hopefully things will work out.

damasa · #10 08-08-2002, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by psusensei

Good Luck...go with what your heart says. If you find you would be more miserable without him than with him though far away...then you know what to do.

This is probably the best thing I have ever heard anyone say regarding long distance relationships. Why would someone rather choose to be miserable without someone as opposed to having them but just not being as close? Long Distance relationships can and do work. If you know that in the future you two will be together, anything is worth the sacrifice to make that a possibility.

Best of luck.

SATX*APhi · #11 08-08-2002, 06:09 PM

I am in alliance with Holly5425.

Everything happens for a reason! I say you just take things one day at a time. You do not know what is going to happen tomorrow, let alone next week. If things are meant to be, they will be. I promise you.