Race issues/questions in children

[AGDee]

I'm not sure it's always a result of media/societal attitudes. My daughter had her first exposure to an African American child on her first day of kindergarten. She came home and told me about this beautiful girl who had chocolate skin and how she wished her skin was like that. That year, all the Barbies and dolls she wanted were African American. I didn't think much of it. I just saw it as expanding her horizons and admiring someone who was different than herself.

I can say, as a short, curvy Italian brunette with brown eyes, that, through the "difficult" years (middle school/high school), I really just wanted to be a tall, leggy, blonde with blue eyes. THAT was media induced for sure. When Paula Abdul first became popular, it was such a relief because she was very attractive but short and curvy AND a brunette!

I guess my point is... watch her reactions and keep an open line of communication about it to figure out why she is feeling that way and then address the underlying cause. You could also use the opportunity to explain that the pictures in magazines are often touched up to make the women look even prettier and point out that all people have something beautiful about them, inside and/or out.

[Rudey]

I think that Rihanna chick is smoking hot. Some may even say she's the case for promoting miscegenation. But her problem is she has difficulty speaking. I mean who pronounces umbrella with 4 syllables?

-Rudey

[Taualumna]

Would filling the house with magazines and DVDs that are primarily put out for a (especially immigrant) black audience be helpful? My mom and grandma subscribe to several Hong Kong magazines similar to OK! or Us Weekly to keep up with the goings on of the HK celebrities and that was where I got some of my exposure to what "beauty" is. I don't generally compare myself to anyone, but if I did, I'd probably compare myself to an actress or singer from Hong Kong. I'd never compare myself to an Asian American/Canadian actress, since most of them are plain to butt ugly by Asian standards (my mom (who is addicted to Korean soaps) thought Marie Claire was CRAZY to have Sandra Oh on its cover earlier this year..."they'd never do it in Korea" she said). At the same time, the Hong Kong/Asian standard of western beauty is different too. Maybe it's generational, but my parents don't see why the world loves Reese Witherspoon so much.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by Rudey

I think that Rihanna chick is smoking hot. Some may even say she's the case for promoting miscegenation. But her problem is she has difficulty speaking. I mean who pronounces umbrella with 4 syllables?

-Rudey

Rudey, prouncing "umbrella" in 4 syllables does not stop you from thinking other things...

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'm not sure it's always a result of media/societal attitudes. My daughter had her first exposure to an African American child on her first day of kindergarten. She came home and told me about this beautiful girl who had chocolate skin and how she wished her skin was like that. That year, all the Barbies and dolls she wanted were African American. I didn't think much of it. I just saw it as expanding her horizons and admiring someone who was different than herself.

I can say, as a short, curvy Italian brunette with brown eyes, that, through the "difficult" years (middle school/high school), I really just wanted to be a tall, leggy, blonde with blue eyes. THAT was media induced for sure. When Paula Abdul first became popular, it was such a relief because she was very attractive but short and curvy AND a brunette!

I guess my point is... watch her reactions and keep an open line of communication about it to figure out why she is feeling that way and then address the underlying cause. You could also use the opportunity to explain that the pictures in magazines are often touched up to make the women look even prettier and point out that all people have something beautiful about them, inside and/or out.

Well, you do have to admit, you and your daughter are probably different in your thinking to begin with... That is just a great mark of an excellent parent!

If I had a daughter who starting to wonder what the outside world is (inevitably ), I would try telling her a personal story that only she could understand to help her ease her way through it... So that when the other little hellions decide to tease her for her looks, she maintains her self-esteem through all those awkward years.

Disclaimer: Just trying to help... Some folks think I am trying to attack their innercore being. You can take it or leave it as to what I say. It doesn't matter to me. However if you disagree, it still sucks to be degraded by flaming as a human being, just argue the points you disagree on, that's cool. Tell me why I am wrong, maybe I can learn something, too... People internalize too much personal stuff on a message board!

[OneTimeSBX]

ive gotten several PMs from people wondering how i ended up handling the situation with my daughter.

ive decided to start and take a cultural standpoint and introduce her to the various races that make up her background. im starting this weekend taking her to an Indian convention near our home. my great (her great great) grandmother was half Creek indian, and her husband was full blooded. i want to show her that one race isnt prettier than the other, they are all beautiful in their own way. she seems to find beauty in groups of people who look similar. i do find that comforting that she can still pick other favorites!

in a way, it has helped me to realize i need to get in touch with my background as well. we will see how she likes this culture lesson and i'll be in touch!