Alpha Phi dies of alcohol poisioning at SDSU

[srmom]

33girl, I completely agree with "not shoving it down their throats." after the death of a friend. As I said before, that would be totally insensitive. (and you're right in that my kids didn't know him)

But, in the case of the death of a friend, I might take the time to gently tell my child how much I love him and how hard it would be for me to lose him - under any circumstances - and to please be careful and use good judgement. I don't think that is "shoving it down their throat"

There has to be sensitivity in everything, but as we all know, that is not always the case. I can see how, out of fear, a parent might freak out and say something in the wrong way. Or how someone, out of a feeling of frustration and loss, might try to turn the death of a friend or relative into a crusade. Noone does everything perfectly and to everyone's satisfaction all the time, especially in parenting. We are all just doing the best we can and are learning along the way...

But, this is a completely different discussion

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by srmom

33girl, I completely agree with "not shoving it down their throats." after the death of a friend. As I said before, that would be totally insensitive. (and you're right in that my kids didn't know him)

But, in the case of the death of a friend, I might take the time to gently tell my child how much I love him and how hard it would be for me to lose him - under any circumstances - and to please be careful and use good judgement. I don't think that is "shoving it down their throat"

I agree. If something tragic like that were to happen to a friend of one of my kids, I imagine having an honest conversation that went something like "When these kinds of things happen it terrifies me because I love you so much and I don't know what I would do if I lost you" as well as a discussion of how his/her parents must feel and a reassurance that my child should always feel free to call to be picked up, etc, if there was anything going on that they weren't comfortable with, etc. I think HOW it is approached is the most important part, as well as WHEN you have that part of the conversation. I've never been one for the "Don't do this because I said so" kind of approach, which is what 33girl seems to be addressing.