I think you *can* get some very good ideas and/or feedback from wedding-related message boards (and, to some extent, GC, but don't expect much). I got a lot of good advice/ideas from the message boards at weddingchannel.com and for the most part, everyone was very respectful. When weddingchannel.com changed their board format, about 75% of the posters moved to
www.constantchatter.com and there is still a fairly large wedding section over there. Although, as a whole, CC is not as wedding-centered as WC was.
But in the end, it's your wedding and you have to make the decisions that are best for you and your fiance.
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