Wedding planning

ZTABullwinkle · #1 04-09-2007, 04:31 PM

Why can't I ask the many GC members who are recently engaged, recently married, etc for advice? I don't have to take all of it. But it is nice to know what others have learned during wedding planning.

Thanks Rita. I am on theknot.com, but am always looking for advice where I can get it.

ISUKappa · #2 04-09-2007, 04:49 PM

I think you *can* get some very good ideas and/or feedback from wedding-related message boards (and, to some extent, GC, but don't expect much). I got a lot of good advice/ideas from the message boards at weddingchannel.com and for the most part, everyone was very respectful. When weddingchannel.com changed their board format, about 75% of the posters moved to www.constantchatter.com and there is still a fairly large wedding section over there. Although, as a whole, CC is not as wedding-centered as WC was.

But in the end, it's your wedding and you have to make the decisions that are best for you and your fiance.

PhoenixAzul · #3 04-09-2007, 05:32 PM

I hear your pain! I've got to do most of the major planning before I leave for Scotland in September. We've set a november 08 wedding date as well b/c of my master's program.

My best advice is to BUY A PLANNING BOOK. My brother's fiance gave me a planner from Target that is 3 ring, is already separated into things like "Guest List", "vendors" "calendar" "seating chart", etc. I'm trying to use that to plan the big stuff out of the way before I leave.

You've mentioned the bad months, but what about an April wedding, or a November wedding? My SO and I first had our hearts set on a summer wedding, but we began to realize that we'd have more to choose from if we did a wedding "out of season". There's just not as many girls getting married in November in Pittsburgh, so we've got our pick of venues, photographers, etc. Bonus: Things are also significantly less expensive b/c we're doing it out of season.

Good luck, I'm beginning to realize more and more how stressful it is! I keep thinking that it's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage

RitaMae1908 · #4 04-09-2007, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle

Why can't I ask the many GC members who are recently engaged, recently married, etc for advice? I don't have to take all of it. But it is nice to know what others have learned during wedding planning.

Thanks Rita. I am on theknot.com, but am always looking for advice where I can get it.

Goodie. It is a life saver for me!!! But beware of posting specific info on any of the public forums. Some devious brides or wanna-be-brides have started trouble by contacting another bride's vendor(s) and cancelling contracts, making unauthorized changes, etc... not meant to scare you away... but anything you save under your "MyKnot" section cannot be viewed by the public so it's safe there. But as an additional precautionary measure I established a secret password with all my vendors for any business I do by phone (so they know it's really me calling)... that way evil ex-girlfriends or troblesome hateful FMILs can't spoil your Big Day!!!
Again many congratulations to you and your fiance!!! This is such and exciting time. Make the most of it. You can still get everything you want at an affordable price, so shop around. Most vendors are willing to make a deal with you. And nice goes a long way. Most of my vendors have given me extras and freebies because I was always pleasant and not acting like a maniac whenever I had to contact them. (Apparently unlike many of their other clients!)

Happy Planning!!!

PM me if you want to view me and my Honey's TheKnot Wedding Webpage!!!!

mu_agd · #5 04-09-2007, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RitaMae1908

Some devious brides or wanna-be-brides have started trouble by contacting another bride's vendor(s) and cancelling contracts, making unauthorized changes, etc...

Are people honestly that bored with their lives??

RitaMae1908 · #6 04-10-2007, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mu_agd

Are people honestly that bored with their lives??

You would be surprised!!!

DSTRen13 · #7 04-09-2007, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RitaMae1908

Some devious brides or wanna-be-brides have started trouble by contacting another bride's vendor(s) and cancelling contracts, making unauthorized changes, etc... not meant to scare you away... but anything you save under your "MyKnot" section cannot be viewed by the public so it's safe there. But as an additional precautionary measure I established a secret password with all my vendors for any business I do by phone (so they know it's really me calling)... that way evil ex-girlfriends or troblesome hateful FMILs can't spoil your Big Day!!!

Oh wow ... I have never heard of this ... that really freaks me out ...

To the OP --- I wish I had some better advice, but I am still trying to figure this thing out myself! I have an "idea scrapbook" of things that I like, articles from bridal mags that are helpful, that sort of thing - it's been really good to explain to vendors what I'm talking about. We set the date before anything else so we would have something to tell vendors, then secured our location, then did dresses, then the photographer, and now we're working on invitations --- anyone have any advice on those??

RitaMae1908 · #8 04-10-2007, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

Oh wow ... I have never heard of this ... that really freaks me out ...

To the OP --- I wish I had some better advice, but I am still trying to figure this thing out myself! I have an "idea scrapbook" of things that I like, articles from bridal mags that are helpful, that sort of thing - it's been really good to explain to vendors what I'm talking about. We set the date before anything else so we would have something to tell vendors, then secured our location, then did dresses, then the photographer, and now we're working on invitations --- anyone have any advice on those??

I have a scrapbook as well... well more of a binder separated into sections.. bakery, flowers, attire, etc.. when ever I finish a task or make deposits on something, etc. I put the reciepts in my binder. It makes things easier to find when you have everything all in one place!!!

And congrats to you sistergreek on your upcoming nuptials!!!

KSUViolet06 · #9 04-10-2007, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RitaMae1908

Goodie. It is a life saver for me!!! But beware of posting specific info on any of the public forums. Some devious brides or wanna-be-brides have started trouble by contacting another bride's vendor(s) and cancelling contracts, making unauthorized changes, etc... not meant to scare you away... but anything you save under your "MyKnot" section cannot be viewed by the public so it's safe there. But as an additional precautionary measure I established a secret password with all my vendors for any business I do by phone (so they know it's really me calling)... that way evil ex-girlfriends or troblesome hateful FMILs can't spoil your Big Day!!!

WHOA. So you mean another bride will call a vendor pretending to be you and make changes to YOUR wedding?

I can just hear that phone call, "Hi Happy Wedding Cake Company? This is Becky. Yes, Becky Jackson. I was just calling to ask if we could change my cake flavor from regular lemon to stewed prune please? Thanks so much, bye!"

*hangs up, makes evil laugh, and rubs hands together*

I can't believe people could be THAT stalkerish. Good thing vendors usually call you and double check any changes before they get started on them.

Seriously, my only advice for anyone who is getting married is to just BE NICE. The lady I babysit for is a wedding planner and I've met some of the brides she's worked with. There were a few nice ones, and those were the ones that she went the extra mile for and really went out of her way to get them good deals. The rest of them were real Bridezillas.

I remember one lady who came in one day to see a preview of her centerpieces. The candle holders were not to her specifications. So what did she do? She whacks them and they fly across the table. I just happened to be sitting in the next room and I heard this loud CRASH. This lady was seriously NEAR TEARS over candleholders. I mean, seriously? It was crazy.

And for goodness sakes, be nice to your bridesmaids. I've been in weddings for girls whom I LOVE to death but wanted to STRANGLE for the entire weekend of the wedding because they were just complete bridezillas.

WhiteDaisy128 · #10 04-10-2007, 10:53 PM

Book the church and the reception facilities (for ease, go with a reception location that does food too)...

The book a photographer.

Then buy a dress.

Then order bridesmaid dresses (they can take up to 5 months to come in!!)

Then order invitations

Obsess about details (bubbles vs. rice? out of town boxes? programs? music selections? etc.)

I'm pretty active on TheKnot and as long as you stay in certain places, the site is very helpful. I'd be glad to tell you how to see my stuff there...just send me a PM here and I'll tell you my knot user name and you can see my bio. stuff.

The best place to get ideas is to go to the knot's message boards and look through bios. Also check out www.specialtybios.com -- there are great ideas there.

Hope that helps! I'm at the 2 month mark and have sooo much stuff done!

ZTABullwinkle · #11 04-11-2007, 12:22 PM

I haven't gone MIA. I appreciate all the congratulations.

I have seen that cake topper, and it is cute. But as much as my fiance is not involved in wedding planning, he may put his foot down on that one.

I went out and bought photo pages to start cutting out my ideas and get them organized in a binder. That and a wedding planner are two things I knew I was going to need.

As for when to have the wedding...I was talking to someone in physical therapy, and she suggested the middle of September. I thought it was a good idea, but my concern was that it was rather close to Labor Day. Would people want to travel to the wedding? I plan on sending Save the Date cards, so people can have "notice" of the date.

My mom is not big on the wedding planner idea. While I don't have the $$$ to spend on a wedding, nor do I want to spend a life's fortune on the wedding, she is concerned that I am going to be wanting one of those weddings you see on "whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" on the Style network. (Great show!) I am just concerned that I will feel overwhelmed and get stressed out.

The budget has yet to be discussed. There are some things that have taken priority in my family's mind. I am waiting patiently and not trying to be a pain in the arse. I think I may push for some kind of talk in the next couple of weeks.

I have to send PMs to those of you on here. I would love to see what you are talking about!

Once again.....
THANK YOU!!!

ISUKappa · #12 04-11-2007, 12:38 PM

I used an accordian-style divided file folder instead of a binder. I found it much easier to carry around (and for a while, I had it with me at all times).

We got married the weekend after Labor Day (almost four years ago, now) and had no comments from anybody about traveling two weekends in a row. If people want to be there, they'll come no matter when it is.

You don't have to spend $$$ to have a nice wedding. If there are things you can do yourself, (make favors, print invitations/programs, etc...) do them! I designed and printed my own invitations, programs, save the dates, and favors. My mother (who is a wonderful seamstress) made all the bridesmaids dresses. We had a BBQ for the rehearsal dinner instead of a catered restaurant meal.

SoCalGirl · #13 04-11-2007, 10:35 PM

The advantage of having a post Labor Day wedding is that the hotels will be a lot cheaper. You might want to start considering in what part of town you want the wedding and reception. Chesapeake, Norfolk, Sandbridge, Pungo, or at the Beach? If you have the reception at one of the Beach hotels they'll probably give you an even better rate on rooms.

sherbertlemons · #14 04-21-2007, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle

I went out and bought photo pages to start cutting out my ideas and get them organized in a binder. That and a wedding planner are two things I knew I was going to need.

As for when to have the wedding...I was talking to someone in physical therapy, and she suggested the middle of September. I thought it was a good idea, but my concern was that it was rather close to Labor Day. Would people want to travel to the wedding? I plan on sending Save the Date cards, so people can have "notice" of the date.

My mom is not big on the wedding planner idea. While I don't have the $$$ to spend on a wedding, nor do I want to spend a life's fortune on the wedding, she is concerned that I am going to be wanting one of those weddings you see on "whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" on the Style network. (Great show!) I am just concerned that I will feel overwhelmed and get stressed out.

THANK YOU!!!

Congratulations! I'm planning my own wedding. It's now only 43 days away!

I haven't used a wedding planner and haven't really felt stressed out. This is even planning with my mother, and planning with her is an... adventure. I was also planning with only an 8 1/2 month time frame. What I did was concentrate on one thing at a time and get that all finished before I moved to the next thing. When we first got engaged, the first thing we did was pick a tentative range of dates. Then we picked a venue, and then I went dress shopping and bridesmaid dress shopping. Then I got a photographer.

I will contradict practically every one else on this thread and say that the Knot forums have seriously been one of the biggest helps I could have. Not really the national boards, but the local boards for my area. I have wonderful (and inexpensive) vendors, and every single one of them was reccommended on my local board. Just do make sure you follow the advice about not sharing personal info- there are some psychos on that board.

angelic1 · #15 05-25-2007, 04:39 PM

OK ... I am still at square one in this whole planning process. At least we have some time.

Our problem is space - my fiance wants it inside so that we do not have to worry about the weather (I agreed at first), but then now I keep looking for venues in the area that would have space for 200 people seated and they are way out of my price range (bc of them not allowing outside caterers or alcohol).

You may say ok cut the amount of people - can't we are talking family here and trust me I already have (I have a very large family). So I was thinking of a compromise of indoors/outdoors.

Outdoors for the food, then move indoors for cake/dancing/etc. Has anyone done this before ... should I just do the whole thing outdoors at this point then?