Is sex really that big of a deal?

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by valkyrie

The whole point of friends with benefits is to have sex without being emotionally close.

No disrespect taken! This is your FWB definition. It's not mine. I don't really wanna use this example, but it may help you get what I mean: My cousin overheard a convo I was having with my sister and told his mom that I was talking about having an "affair" with someone (his word, not mine). She of course hit the roof! She said, "And what do you think an affair is?" And he said, "You know...a romance." Technically, he's right: an affair is "an intense, amorous relationship" which is the definition that he knows. It does NOT literally mean having sex with someone who is taken, but that's what 99% of people mean when they say it. So he's really not wrong--just different from the majority because it's not even in his realm to think about it another way. Because sex is a non issue, my FWB cannot possibly be the same as yours--in other words, I'm not missing the point, I just have a different point than most people....did that help or did it just make you wanna throw a cyber-dictionary at me?

Originally Posted by epchick

Um...no. If you want to believe that kissing, making out, etc is being a "friend with benefits" well then go right ahead with your screwed up view. The term is around to define people who are "friends" (not in a relationship) who do things people in relationships due---have sex, have oral sex, etc.

Not everyone in relationships have sex--thus the point of this thread. My view being different from yours does not make it screwed up. It makes it different from yours.

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Because sex is a non issue, my FWB cannot possibly be the same as yours--in other words, I'm not missing the point, I just have a different point than most people....did that help or did it just make you wanna throw a cyber-dictionary at me?

I totally understand that, and of course you're free to have whatever definition of FWB you want to have. However, it does make communication difficult when you refer to a generally understood concept but mean something completely different from what most people mean. If you say "FWB" and how you have to "be creative" to nonvirgins, many of them, like I did, are going to think this means you're hittin' up every orifice but the one. As long as you're only talking to other virgins or fully explain yourself every time, you'll be fine.