Dilema

[LaneSig]

schiller75-

I agree with the "No dating within the chapter" policy. I don't agree with the "Don't talk with the advisors" or "They expect you to fail". You are a new chapter, the advisors are there to help you. If they expected you to fail, they never would have started the colony/chapter in the first place. Advisors are not just "old fogeys" who don't know what it is like to be in college. They may not have had to deal with this issue as undergrads themselves, but they can help with setting standards for membership.

[shinerbock]

I agree with RU. Chapter advisors usually don't help at all. This is a tough spot though.

[schiller75]

Thanks everyone, at least I know I am not alone in my concern. I will keep you posted on what happens.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Whether chapter advisors help probably varies from chapter to chapter. My chapter's advisors were crucial to our success as a new chapter...there's no way we would've known the right way to do things without their help.

Also, what RU said about fighting a fraternity? Never happened on my campus (that I knew of), and sounds more like gang warfare to me. Do you really want to associate yourselves with that kind of behavior either? Winning things is important, yes, but I'd limit it to the stuff that greeks usually brag about...chapter of the year, grades, intramurals, greek week, spring sing/songfest, sorority philanthropies, etc. You want members that are honorable, not thugs.

[Tom Earp]

I am sure that many Chapters of Many GLOs have had gays in them whether they want to admit it or not!

I am sure Your HQ and Chapters have standards of which have to be followed.

This is not meaning ethniticity, religious, or other regulations about sexual preference.

If a new possible does not fit what is being looked for by your Chapter, then they will not be given a bid and accepted.

Chapter Advisors are there to give guidence, so you may want to have them involved for feed back. It is a tough choice, but it is yours and the chapters.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

Also, what RU said about fighting a fraternity? Never happened on my campus (that I knew of), and sounds more like gang warfare to me. Do you really want to associate yourselves with that kind of behavior either? Winning things is important, yes, but I'd limit it to the stuff that greeks usually brag about...chapter of the year, grades, intramurals, greek week, spring sing/songfest, sorority philanthropies, etc. You want members that are honorable, not thugs.

I don't think he meant a full-out Sharks vs Jets throwdown.

What he is referring to is another fraternity might 1) have problems with the fact that some members are gay 2) have problems with any new fraternity, period, and try to start a fight. Guys do this. Hopefully it'll end at words. It has nothing to do with being "thugs."

[LaneSig]

It may be a non-issue at Northern Arizona. A member of Sigma Chi was elected the campus government president a few years ago. He was openly gay, a fact that the Sigma Chi chapter knew when they offered him the bid. The member appeared on the cover of a national gay magazine, The Advocate. He talked about several chapters at NAU having openly gay members.

[adpiucf]

You can always have the chapter leadership bring this up and adopt into your chapter bylaws:

Two gay or bisexual brothers may not date one another while they are collegiate members of the fraternity. Brothers may not date the sweetheart of the fraternity.

Just put it in writing and put it to a vote with the reasoning that while the fraternity is opening and accepting of all lifestyles, romantic relationships complicate the brotherhood no matter the orientation within the relationship. Use the analogy of dating in the workplace. You don't want to make the chapter an awkward experience or divide the chapter in the midst of a lover's quarrel. The guys should be reasonable enough to see this and you are on a big enough campus where there are others they can date. Or if being together is so important to them, one will leave the fraternity. It is a completely fair expectation.