Dilema

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by RU OX Alum

Make a rule: no dating brothers. That is the same as no dating the dream girl, which is probably a good idea, having someone's girlfriend as dreamgirl causes nothing but drama. Trust me.

This would be my suggestion. The problem is, though, it's hard to enforce.

[LPIDelta]

This is where setting recruitment standards for your chapter would come into play. If you establish standards like a certain GPA or previous involvement in community service or involvement in another campus org as a standard that all potential new members must meet, regardless of personal background, then quality will become the reputation of chapter, not the personal attributes of a few of your members.

Does your fraternity have a discrimination clause re: sexual orientation?

ETA: Also, if you want other groups to accept you while developing a positive image, you may want to make sure you mix with all the groups, join the groups with their philanthropy projects, and get involved with planning all Greek events.

[LaneSig]

schiller75-

I agree with the "No dating within the chapter" policy. I don't agree with the "Don't talk with the advisors" or "They expect you to fail". You are a new chapter, the advisors are there to help you. If they expected you to fail, they never would have started the colony/chapter in the first place. Advisors are not just "old fogeys" who don't know what it is like to be in college. They may not have had to deal with this issue as undergrads themselves, but they can help with setting standards for membership.

[shinerbock]

I agree with RU. Chapter advisors usually don't help at all. This is a tough spot though.

[schiller75]

Thanks everyone, at least I know I am not alone in my concern. I will keep you posted on what happens.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Whether chapter advisors help probably varies from chapter to chapter. My chapter's advisors were crucial to our success as a new chapter...there's no way we would've known the right way to do things without their help.

Also, what RU said about fighting a fraternity? Never happened on my campus (that I knew of), and sounds more like gang warfare to me. Do you really want to associate yourselves with that kind of behavior either? Winning things is important, yes, but I'd limit it to the stuff that greeks usually brag about...chapter of the year, grades, intramurals, greek week, spring sing/songfest, sorority philanthropies, etc. You want members that are honorable, not thugs.

[Tom Earp]

I am sure that many Chapters of Many GLOs have had gays in them whether they want to admit it or not!

I am sure Your HQ and Chapters have standards of which have to be followed.

This is not meaning ethniticity, religious, or other regulations about sexual preference.

If a new possible does not fit what is being looked for by your Chapter, then they will not be given a bid and accepted.

Chapter Advisors are there to give guidence, so you may want to have them involved for feed back. It is a tough choice, but it is yours and the chapters.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

Also, what RU said about fighting a fraternity? Never happened on my campus (that I knew of), and sounds more like gang warfare to me. Do you really want to associate yourselves with that kind of behavior either? Winning things is important, yes, but I'd limit it to the stuff that greeks usually brag about...chapter of the year, grades, intramurals, greek week, spring sing/songfest, sorority philanthropies, etc. You want members that are honorable, not thugs.

I don't think he meant a full-out Sharks vs Jets throwdown.

What he is referring to is another fraternity might 1) have problems with the fact that some members are gay 2) have problems with any new fraternity, period, and try to start a fight. Guys do this. Hopefully it'll end at words. It has nothing to do with being "thugs."