WTF she joined my sorority?!

LatinaAlumna · #1 10-07-2006, 08:52 PM

Not to get off topic, but WHY are you even friends with this guy at all? You said he cheated on you, but you called HIM to make ammends?

sdsuchelle · #2 10-07-2006, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

Not to get off topic, but WHY are you even friends with this guy at all? You said he cheated on you, but you called HIM to make ammends?

Oh, no, he called me first... I just didn't call him back for a long time since I was pissed.

I don't really hold grudges... so I wanted to at least be on okay terms with him.

Elephant Walk · #3 10-08-2006, 01:07 AM

So uhm, whenever I make my way out west for hunting and such, meeting brothers from other chapters always make me say "WTF he joined my fraternity?"

LatinaAlumna · #4 10-08-2006, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

Oh, no, he called me first... I just didn't call him back for a long time since I was pissed.

I don't really hold grudges... so I wanted to at least be on okay terms with him.

But I still don't get why you even care about this situation, unless she's going to join your particular chapter. Doesn't she go to a different school, and wouldn't there be a chance she would join a completely different sorority? Why would you have to deal with her at all?

I am not saying that this girl was in the right for hooking up with your boyfriend, but the blame is just as much HIS. He could have turned her down or chosen not to pursue her. I don't think it's right to sabotage her chances of joining a sorority because your boyfriend chose to cheat on you. I think you should just let it go unless she tries to join your particular chapter.

What if you got into a bad situation with someone who is currently a sister of yours? What would you do then? Would you say that you "wouldn't be able to live" with that woman in your organization? Just deal with it if it happens. You're going to have to deal with people you don't like for the rest of your life.

Tom Earp · #5 10-08-2006, 03:42 PM

So, cut them both out or You life!

You really are not in it are you?

They moved on and maybe you should also.

Hell, maybe you have not met the Man of your dreams.

REE1993 · #6 10-19-2006, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

I mean, it's not ONLY a personal vendetta, but she uses drugs and drinks quite heavily.

Oh, but it is.

I think it would be really shallow to blackball this girl because of your past experiences with her.

By creating new posts and "reasons" other than her alleged drinking and drug habits, from her being "psycho" and insinuating she is promiscuous, really demonstrates that you are out for revenge for her cheating with your boyfriend.

Honey, after you graduate, none of this will matter to you. But it may matter to a girl who may be rejected "simply" because one person had an issue with her.

Be the bigger person and let the chips fall where they may. Remember, adelphae is not just toward your chapter or organization's sisters; all women, greek and non-greek, are sisters and should be treated accordingly.

AlphaFrog · #7 10-19-2006, 09:48 AM

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Kum ba yah, My Lord, Kum Ba Yah....
Kum ba yah, My Lord, Kum Ba Yah....
Oh lord, Kum ba Yah.

I'm superior to you, Kum Ba Yah...
Because I'm more moral then you, Kum Ba Yah...
I'm preaching Agape-love, Kum Ba Yah...
SO SUCK IT UP GIRL! Kum ba Yah....

SoCalGirl · #8 10-19-2006, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by REE1993

Oh, but it is.

I think it would be really shallow to blackball this girl because of your past experiences with her.

By creating new posts and "reasons" other than her alleged drinking and drug habits, from her being "psycho" and insinuating she is promiscuous, really demonstrates that you are out for revenge for her cheating with your boyfriend.

Honey, after you graduate, none of this will matter to you. But it may matter to a girl who may be rejected "simply" because one person had an issue with her.

Be the bigger person and let the chips fall where they may. Remember, adelphae is not just toward your chapter or organization's sisters; all women, greek and non-greek, are sisters and should be treated accordingly.

So you would never "blackball" anyone based on your experience with them? Basically, you have no opinion when it comes to who may join your organization? Oh, by the way, she never asked about black balling. The best she could do is send a no-rec letter.

REE1993 · #9 10-19-2006, 09:56 AM

You mis-read me.

I am saying that the original poster said that her reason was "not only" a personal vendetta. That says it all. If it was purely due to something measurable and unethical/immoral, then that is a different story.

Revenge is not endearing to one's character.

This is my opinion, and not a judgment.

sdsuchelle · #10 10-09-2006, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

I am not saying that this girl was in the right for hooking up with your boyfriend, but the blame is just as much HIS. He could have turned her down or chosen not to pursue her. I don't think it's right to sabotage her chances of joining a sorority because your boyfriend chose to cheat on you. I think you should just let it go unless she tries to join your particular chapter.

I know -- I blame him a LOT more, and I would be completely fine with the girl if she wasn't a complete stalker psycho. Whenever I randomly see him or her, I try to be nice, but she's just a total bitch to me.

I don't feel that she would be an asset to the sorority - just a problem.

adpiucf · #11 10-09-2006, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

I don't feel that she would be an asset to the sorority - just a problem.

Then you are within your rights to write the no-rec and send it in... maybe the rest of this discussion belongs in Dating and Relationships.

AnchorAlumna · #12 10-09-2006, 12:16 PM

Michelle,
I occasionally have to write a no rec on somebody. I check the box for "I do not recommend" and attach a Post-It note that says "PLEASE CALL ME FOR DETAILS." That way there is nothing written that could come back to haunt you or the chapter later. If they do not call, call them. (No, I would not e-mail - lingering e-mails are as bad as something written.) When you talk to them, you can outline your reasons. OR you can ask a fellow ADPi to write the rec. Drinking and smoking pot may be harmless to some people, but it's a risk a chapter would take in pledging this person.
And to Tom and you guys, you may think it's no big deal if somebody joins another chapter of your fraternity, but sororities have organization-wide ties and events that may mean you could run into this person the rest of your life.

LatinaAlumna · #13 10-09-2006, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

And to Tom and you guys, you may think it's no big deal if somebody joins another chapter of your fraternity, but sororities have organization-wide ties and events that may mean you could run into this person the rest of your life.

Yes, I think most of us on this board know that.

However, we ALL have to run into people we don't like, all the time! I don't think this is worth all the worry. Perhaps the girl doesn't even meet the requirements to rush any sorority in the first place. Maybe she doesn't want to join a sorority at all.