WTF she joined my sorority?!

LionTamer · #1 10-07-2006, 11:09 AM

I was part of a membership group after college. One of the girls who my sorority chapter had disaffiliated for psycho behavior applied for membership (which was run a lot like rush - complete with parties, reccs and membership selection). I was appalled - I had seen how she had torn our sorority apart with her behavior.

I was concerned that the other members wouldn't believe me when I told them that this person was an extremely disruptive influence. Fortunately, one of her co-workers spoke up first, saying exactly what I was going to say - that she would be a disruptive influence. Someone else who had encountered her in yet another social circle described several disturbing incidents, and there was very little argument ("well, I thought she was very outgoing and interesting, but if all three of you know her and see potential problems...")

I was concerned that the girl would blame me, but fortunately, she opted to go skiing on the day we did final interviews and selection, so she was out on that technicality. In other cases, we might have made an exception (our group accepted pretty much anyone who was willing to pitch in and wasn't disruptive), but 3 people's collective experience with her gave the membership committee reason NOT to bend the rules.

The problem is that very often psychos can come off as charming, vivacious, outgoing, etc, and people are taken in -- so you can't always assume the members will pick up that she's a potential Drama Queen.

shinerbock · #2 10-07-2006, 11:20 AM

If she doesnt go to your school, then who cares. I don't like many people outside of my chapter (in my fraternity).

SoCalGirl · #3 10-07-2006, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shinerbock

If she doesnt go to your school, then who cares. I don't like many people outside of my chapter (in my fraternity).

I think it's one thing if it's "I don't like her so I don't want her in my sorority" but I think it's completely valid if she believes the girl will cause problems in or for the chapter.

CutiePie2000 · #4 10-07-2006, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LionTamer

The problem is that very often psychos can come off as charming, vivacious, outgoing, etc, and people are taken in --

\
This person did not join my GLO, but I was definitely taken in by someone who was charming, vivacious and outgoing.

LatinaAlumna · #5 10-07-2006, 08:52 PM

Not to get off topic, but WHY are you even friends with this guy at all? You said he cheated on you, but you called HIM to make ammends?

sdsuchelle · #6 10-07-2006, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

Not to get off topic, but WHY are you even friends with this guy at all? You said he cheated on you, but you called HIM to make ammends?

Oh, no, he called me first... I just didn't call him back for a long time since I was pissed.

I don't really hold grudges... so I wanted to at least be on okay terms with him.

Elephant Walk · #7 10-08-2006, 01:07 AM

So uhm, whenever I make my way out west for hunting and such, meeting brothers from other chapters always make me say "WTF he joined my fraternity?"

LatinaAlumna · #8 10-08-2006, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

Oh, no, he called me first... I just didn't call him back for a long time since I was pissed.

I don't really hold grudges... so I wanted to at least be on okay terms with him.

But I still don't get why you even care about this situation, unless she's going to join your particular chapter. Doesn't she go to a different school, and wouldn't there be a chance she would join a completely different sorority? Why would you have to deal with her at all?

I am not saying that this girl was in the right for hooking up with your boyfriend, but the blame is just as much HIS. He could have turned her down or chosen not to pursue her. I don't think it's right to sabotage her chances of joining a sorority because your boyfriend chose to cheat on you. I think you should just let it go unless she tries to join your particular chapter.

What if you got into a bad situation with someone who is currently a sister of yours? What would you do then? Would you say that you "wouldn't be able to live" with that woman in your organization? Just deal with it if it happens. You're going to have to deal with people you don't like for the rest of your life.

Tom Earp · #9 10-08-2006, 03:42 PM

So, cut them both out or You life!

You really are not in it are you?

They moved on and maybe you should also.

Hell, maybe you have not met the Man of your dreams.

REE1993 · #10 10-19-2006, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

I mean, it's not ONLY a personal vendetta, but she uses drugs and drinks quite heavily.

Oh, but it is.

I think it would be really shallow to blackball this girl because of your past experiences with her.

By creating new posts and "reasons" other than her alleged drinking and drug habits, from her being "psycho" and insinuating she is promiscuous, really demonstrates that you are out for revenge for her cheating with your boyfriend.

Honey, after you graduate, none of this will matter to you. But it may matter to a girl who may be rejected "simply" because one person had an issue with her.

Be the bigger person and let the chips fall where they may. Remember, adelphae is not just toward your chapter or organization's sisters; all women, greek and non-greek, are sisters and should be treated accordingly.

sdsuchelle · #11 10-09-2006, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

I am not saying that this girl was in the right for hooking up with your boyfriend, but the blame is just as much HIS. He could have turned her down or chosen not to pursue her. I don't think it's right to sabotage her chances of joining a sorority because your boyfriend chose to cheat on you. I think you should just let it go unless she tries to join your particular chapter.

I know -- I blame him a LOT more, and I would be completely fine with the girl if she wasn't a complete stalker psycho. Whenever I randomly see him or her, I try to be nice, but she's just a total bitch to me.

I don't feel that she would be an asset to the sorority - just a problem.

adpiucf · #12 10-09-2006, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

I don't feel that she would be an asset to the sorority - just a problem.

Then you are within your rights to write the no-rec and send it in... maybe the rest of this discussion belongs in Dating and Relationships.

GeekyPenguin · #13 10-19-2006, 03:16 PM

I don't see any problem with wanting to no-rec this girl if she knows she would be a bad addition to the sorority. Like my sister PeppyGPhiB said, girls who hook up with other girls' boyfriends generally aren't the type of people I want in my sorority.

Tom Earp · #14 10-19-2006, 03:32 PM

Maybe the he and she were not ment for each other?

Life will go on wont it?

kathykd2005 · #15 10-19-2006, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

Maybe the he and she were not ment for each other?

Life will go on wont it?

Yes, life will go on, but that's not what this post is about. It's about whether or not this woman's character is fit for their sisterhood. Most would agree that it is not.