How come I almost never see black women at bars?

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally Posted by #3 Tsunami

Finally, and I praise the black women for this one. Most black women are not gonna chill at a spot filled with more white men then black men.

Tis true for this Black woman. I go where I am comfortable and I tend to be more comfortable in my chill time with places that cater to Black people.

I've gone to Cosmos and enjoyed myself because it was a nice mix and no cover charge, lmao.

And I am with those who prefer smoke free or less smoke filled environments. Although a tip I learned is to spray your hair with oil sheen before going to bed and the smell will at least be gone from your hair.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by CrimsonTide4

Tis true for this Black woman. I go where I am comfortable and I tend to be more comfortable in my chill time with places that cater to Black people.

I guess I will be honest. I'm very self-conscious in all black social environments. I have no idea how to interact. When you've been the token almost everywhere since you were a young kid, it's actually easy to get used to it.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I guess I will be honest. I'm very self-conscious in all black social environments. I have no idea how to interact.

I was able to discern this about you a long time ago based on your online persona.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I guess I will be honest. I'm very self-conscious in all black social environments. I have no idea how to interact. When you've been the token almost everywhere since you were a young kid, it's actually easy to get used to it.

Well un-self-conscious yourself, stop being a token, go out to the clubs where we are and start mingling.

[lovelyivy84]

Many is the time I've beent he black girl inthe bar, and to be honest, most but not all of those times I have been terribly bored. Not so much because there were no other black people, but because I really don't like bars. To me, if I drink alchohol it's got one of two purposes: 1. to get me slightly twisted so that i am ready to go out and dance for a few hours or 2. to go to bed. In order for me to have fun I have to be going with a large, fun group of people I know really well, and even then there's no guarantee.

At bars you just sit down and drink. Yawn. I can do that at my house for waaay cheaper. If I just wanted to talk to my friends while I did it I'd tell them to come over. A lounge at least is more likely to have music I want to listen to.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I guess I will be honest. I'm very self-conscious in all black social environments. I have no idea how to interact. When you've been the token almost everywhere since you were a young kid, it's actually easy to get used to it.

you know, i have been in situations where ive gotten comfortable being the token, especially at parties and social events. honestly, it would be like a united colors of benetton advertisement, with your (token) asian, black, spanish person. then you get a racially ambiguous person or two, maybe a gay or indian person...

point is, ive been the only "one" in the bar and it can be uncomfortable and such, but come on, sometimes bars have the best deals, like dollar beer night (if youre in NYC, holla at me at Off the Wagon on Mondays) or quarter pitcher night (Wednesdays at Town Tavern). i have learned to like bars, but its not my preference of hangout spots.

some nights im in the mood for a bar, to just sit and have a drink. sure, i can do away with the smoke (i HATE cig smoke, but since NY has no more smoking in bars, dont have to worry anymore. and it irks me when i go out of town and am in a smoky bar) but some nights, i dont want to do the loud music/dance thing.

also in nyc, the lines of bar/restaurant/lounge are blurred, which can be a good thing if you wanna get your dance on one minute and then next just wanna sit down and knock one back.

[DSTCHAOS]

Ugh @ people typing "token" and meaning it.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Ugh @ people typing "token" and meaning it.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by tld221

Well, "token" is a derogatory reference but being the only black person in most settings (educational, professional, or social) doesn't automatically make you a token unless THEY make you the token.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Well, "token" is a derogatory reference but being the only black person in most settings (educational, professional, or social) doesn't automatically make you a token unless THEY make you the token.

hmm. a lot of terms are derogatory until you reclaim the phrase... at school we threw it around as such, like "look at us token [fill in the blank] folks." even white students threw it around, like, "yeah im the token white kid from burbs"

youre right, youre only a token if they make you one. and yes, ive been the said token in educational, professional, AND social settings, but not just for being black, but for being female, for being young, etc...

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by tld221

you know, i have been in situations where ive gotten comfortable being the token, especially at parties and social events.

Yeah, that was my grad school experience, and therefore my professional experience, in a nutshell. I can't wait to meet another black person who does what I do. I've met a few engineers who do similar things...close, but no cigar.

I prefer bars to clubs. I went to the 4040 club here in NYC a few weeks ago, and I was booooored. I'm not that much of a dancer. I would rather sit with some friends drinking beers and watching the Red Sox than dancing any day.

[orighu]

Originally Posted by CrimsonTide4

Although a tip I learned is to spray your hair with oil sheen before going to bed and the smell will at least be gone from your hair.

Thanks - that is a helpful tip for the hair......

Although I tease my husband all the time for not wanting to go out to drink cause he's too cheap to want to pay for the drinks - I have to agree with Still_BLUTANG prefer to drink at home