Dating someone with a mental illness

paul1 · #1 09-10-2006, 03:59 PM

I've been dating a lady for 7months who is bipolar , and takes meds . there are some weird things going on and i don't know if its her condition or not . example in the time we have been dating i have never meet her parents or even been invited to her house . she is in law enforcement and it seems everything is on her time schedule . she tells me she loves me and i her . in the recent past she was talking about a ex boyfriend and when i told her it was uncool to do so she said " i just wont talk about my past i guess ' nice huh ? she is also divorced and has worn her wedding ring in front of me and still carries her married id from Canada. i recently had a birthday , and she got me 2 shirts , a few days later she through the shirts in the street and wasn't sorry at all and hasn't replaced them , seems to not matter . there is more just some of it . any suggestions would be welcome .. thanks

RU OX Alum · #2 09-13-2006, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paul1

I've been dating a lady for 7months who is bipolar , and takes meds . there are some weird things going on and i don't know if its her condition or not . example in the time we have been dating i have never meet her parents or even been invited to her house . she is in law enforcement and it seems everything is on her time schedule . she tells me she loves me and i her . in the recent past she was talking about a ex boyfriend and when i told her it was uncool to do so she said " i just wont talk about my past i guess ' nice huh ? she is also divorced and has worn her wedding ring in front of me and still carries her married id from Canada. i recently had a birthday , and she got me 2 shirts , a few days later she through the shirts in the street and wasn't sorry at all and hasn't replaced them , seems to not matter . there is more just some of it . any suggestions would be welcome .. thanks

You might not like this but....your girlfriend is sick. I know because i have the same sickness. Make a decision as to whether or not you want to help her get better. If so, you might be in for a rough ride. But if you're not going to help her get better, you should go ahead and break up with her. It wouldn't be fair to either one of you to continue.

Also, which types of meds does she take? because about 9 times out of 10 the meds will make the symptons worse. Mine did. It's the most under-researched disorder there is. They know next to nothing about it. Good luck with whatever you decide.

paul1 · #3 09-14-2006, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RU OX Alum

You might not like this but....your girlfriend is sick. I know because i have the same sickness. Make a decision as to whether or not you want to help her get better. If so, you might be in for a rough ride. But if you're not going to help her get better, you should go ahead and break up with her. It wouldn't be fair to either one of you to continue.

Also, which types of meds does she take? because about 9 times out of 10 the meds will make the symptons worse. Mine did. It's the most under-researched disorder there is. They know next to nothing about it. Good luck with whatever you decide.

she takes 600mg of lithium and seriqual , she said there was no getting better , have been and will be there for her . Even tho some of her actions hurt ! She stays up for days also , guess its mania .

RU OX Alum · #4 09-15-2006, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paul1

she takes 600mg of lithium and seriqual , she said there was no getting better , have been and will be there for her . Even tho some of her actions hurt ! She stays up for days also , guess its mania .

hypomania, which is one level below, and approaching mania, is what it sounds like.

I recommend counceling in addition to medication. You're right it sucks.

DSTCHAOS · #5 10-11-2006, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paul1

I've been dating a lady for 7months who is bipolar , and takes meds . there are some weird things going on and i don't know if its her condition or not . example in the time we have been dating i have never meet her parents or even been invited to her house . she is in law enforcement and it seems everything is on her time schedule . she tells me she loves me and i her . in the recent past she was talking about a ex boyfriend and when i told her it was uncool to do so she said " i just wont talk about my past i guess ' nice huh ? she is also divorced and has worn her wedding ring in front of me and still carries her married id from Canada. i recently had a birthday , and she got me 2 shirts , a few days later she through the shirts in the street and wasn't sorry at all and hasn't replaced them , seems to not matter . there is more just some of it . any suggestions would be welcome .. thanks

Dump her.

I dated a dude with an "undocumented" mental illness--I guess he was bipolar with the highs and lows he went through, as well as his obsessive compulsiveness, his obsession with his career, and obsession with order and control. I always thought he was "crazy" but he refused to acknowledge it. He also refused to seek professional help but would continue to do things like suddenly yell at me over the phone for no apparent reason, then call me back apologizing (

). I dumped him after not too long and didn't think twice. He could've just been an insensitive loser but he should seek professional help just in case.