Hi, my name is Joseph... and I have a problem.

[James]

You seem more like a "nice" guy than a pig. A pig wouldn't have gotten played like that, or taken it so personally if they did.

I don't know if you are legit or not, but my general suggestion would be stop trying for a while, join a gym, get buff, take some dance classes, maybe buy some new clothes, and get a more aggressive attitude.

Damn man, if there is a girl out there that wants a whiny guy with no self confidence . . well who would want her?

ETA: Don't forget to wash behind your ears.

Originally Posted by JosephWang

It's just the point of view of a guy. This sort of thing is important to guys, don't let them tell you it isn't. We all want to do it as much as possible. I like being honest and direct myself. It's not so much the number as it is the fact that you either get it or you don't.

You'll meet oh so sensitive guys in your women's studies classes that pretend not to be misogynists, but deep down they're all pigs just like me. Which is not something bad.... it just is, you know? It's in our nature.

[JosephWang]

Originally Posted by James

You seem more like a "nice" guy than a pig. A pig wouldn't have gotten played like that, or taken it so personally if they did.

I don't know if you are legit or not, but my general suggestion would be stop trying for a while, join a gym, get buff, take some dance classes, maybe buy some new clothes, and get a more aggressive attitude.

Damn man, if there is a girl out there that wants a whiny guy with no self confidence . . well who would want her?

ETA: Don't forget to wash behind your ears.

I think the hard truth of the matter is... that I don't really like women. I'm attracted to them, but I tend not to like them. It's like, why should I 'try to get buff' or 'act aggressive.' I'm not a jock, I don't want to be something I'm not, why should I change?

I like old women, they're easy to talk to, no bullshit likeable people.

Young girls are all catty, and when you get to be older and you're pawing around trying to find someone decent, you can't, so you just end up with hook ups, like my friend Kelly I mentioned. I can't believe I fell in love with that ho.

A lot of other girls just seem to have these unrealistic expectations. Have you seen their postings on Craigslist, etc? They list like a 1000 things they want in a potential mate. And I'm not suppossed to feel inadequate?

American Women are worthless. And from what I can tell from my friend's marriage, they make terrible wives. I'm going to marry a nice, submissive Asian girl.

I hope you don't think I'm too out there, I just wanted to have an HONEST discussion about how I REALLY feel. I want you to all come back from this thread with the feeling that you interacted with someone online who wasn't pulling any punches or editing himself.

Thanks for listening.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by JosephWang

It's a real company and Pud is a real person.

Yeah. I know. I just get the idea that you want to make sure everyone knows and checks the websites out.

[JosephWang]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Yeah. I know. I just get the idea that you want to make sure everyone knows and checks the websites out.

Meh, they're just small, profitless companies. There's really nothing to see. They were born of the dot com era and just refuse to die, I just thought I'd mention it. Sequoia funding will never get their money back out, and I'm actually quite happy about that.

[James]

Find one you like. Like men, women come in different flavors, sometimes you just have to gag enough times to find one you enjoy.

As far as who you are . . . your personality is just an interface you developed as a child to interact what with the people around you. Its malleable.

I am not saying to act aggressive. I am saying to be aggressive.

We function in a social world, you need to adjust yourself to achieve the type of attention you want from others.

To act in a way that denies you that attention, and then complain you are not getting what you want is insane. And to assume the world is going to change to conform to your inadequacies is just stupid.

Originally Posted by JosephWang

I think the hard truth of the matter is... that I don't really like women. I'm attracted to them, but I tend not to like them. It's like, why should I 'try to get buff' or 'act aggressive.' I'm not a jock, I don't want to be something I'm not, why should I change?

I like old women, they're easy to talk to, no bullshit likeable people.

Young girls are all catty, and when you get to be older and you're pawing around trying to find someone decent, you can't, so you just end up with hook ups, like my friend Kelly I mentioned. I can't believe I fell in love with that ho.

A lot of other girls just seem to have these unrealistic expectations. Have you seen their postings on Craigslist, etc? They list like a 1000 things they want in a potential mate. And I'm not suppossed to feel inadequate?

American Women are worthless. And from what I can tell from my friend's marriage, they make terrible wives. I'm going to marry a nice, submissive Asian girl.

I hope you don't think I'm too out there, I just wanted to have an HONEST discussion about how I REALLY feel. I want you to all come back from this thread with the feeling that you interacted with someone online who wasn't pulling any punches or editing himself.

Thanks for listening.

[JosephWang]

Originally Posted by James

Find one you like. Like men, women come in different flavors, sometimes you just have to gag enough times to find one you enjoy.

As far as who you are . . . your personality is just an interface you developed as a child to interact what with the people around you. Its malleable.

I am not saying to act aggressive. I am saying to be aggressive.

We function in a social world, you need to adjust yourself to achieve the type of attention you want from others.

To act in a way that denies you that attention, and then complain you are not getting what you want is insane. And to assume the world is going to change to conform to your inadequacies is just stupid.

Here's the problem: you might say that your personality is merely an interface, but I have always thought that my personality is born of behavior that people will accept from me, given my physical appearance and nonverbal cues.

For example, if a guy is not particularly good looking or physically imposing, no women or guys are going to accept him if he goes around acting like he's someone great like Bronson Pinchot. They'll cut him right off.

So you sort of adapt the persona that is acceptable to other people around you. It's a reward/punishment process.

And if you still persist in acting out of your "role" given to you by society, then you'll get mired down in a rut... like a motorcycle stuck in the mud.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by JosephWang

Well, good for you, but it sounds like you're bragging. No, I'm not as lucky as you to get married and always have someone there for you.

Bragging? No, I'm just replying to what you told me to do--to savor my twenties. I don't have to, because I'm married and there's no need to do so. You sound like you're having a pity party to me.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by JosephWang

American Women are worthless. And from what I can tell from my friend's marriage, they make terrible wives. I'm going to marry a nice, submissive Asian girl

Sirikwan?

[AKA_Monet]

I am probably going to get slammed for this:

Joseph, have you talked to a professional? How is that working for you? You seem to have some self-esteem issues that are now hurting your morale.

Your post should be moved to the "Dating and Relationships" topic because your issues are relevant to interpersonal relationships. Also, GC is not "Jerry Springer" where you should feel empowered to dump your feelings on unsuspecting GC discussants...

How should one encounter your pain and suffering? (Who isn't licensed)

Joseph, I am going to ask you another question because I am trying to understand what is going on with you: by posting your concerns, what is it that you expect to gain from it?

[JosephWang]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

I am probably going to get slammed for this:

Joseph, have you talked to a professional? How is that working for you? You seem to have some self-esteem issues that are now hurting your morale.

Your post should be moved to the "Dating and Relationships" topic because your issues are relevant to interpersonal relationships. Also, GC is not "Jerry Springer" where you should feel empowered to dump your feelings on unsuspecting GC discussants...

How should one encounter your pain and suffering? (Who isn't licensed)

Joseph, I am going to ask you another question because I am trying to understand what is going on with you: by posting your concerns, what is it that you expect to gain from it?

No, I have not talked to a professional. Believe it or not, I like the anonymity of posting on the internet. I have included a bit of personal information, but not so much as you could identify me in any way.

I come from a family that says the same things I've heard in this thread so far: get a hobby, get buff, change your behavior, bootstraps, bootstraps. And definitely don't talk to a shrink.

In a way, I agree with them. Just because you have a degree means nothing, a good friend or family member can listen just as well if they are inclined. But I'm really very private with these issues, which is why I prefer forums such as this.

I disagree that I've dumped on anyone, though. I understand that a board has to be moderated to keep things decent, but if people just want to post emoticons and say only pleasant things, well, that's kind of boring. The discussion actually turns from substance to content and categorization and appropriateness.

What I expect to get from posting: what anyone expect to get from posting... maybe a good discussion where we learn from each other.

[icelandelf]

Originally Posted by JosephWang

What I expect to get from posting: what anyone expect to get from posting... maybe a good discussion where we learn from each other.

Are you trying to tell us we can do better?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by JosephWang

No, I have not talked to a professional. Believe it or not, I like the anonymity of posting on the internet. I have included a bit of personal information, but not so much as you could identify me in any way.

I come from a family that says the same things I've heard in this thread so far: get a hobby, get buff, change your behavior, bootstraps, bootstraps. And definitely don't talk to a shrink.

In a way, I agree with them. Just because you have a degree means nothing, a good friend or family member can listen just as well if they are inclined. But I'm really very private with these issues, which is why I prefer forums such as this.

You may be right in your own pursuits and fancy, however, since your brain is a organ and tissue, it can get sick just like any other part of your body... Some psychological professionals are trained to assist you come to an civilized conclusion satisfactory to your psyche. Moreover, a psychiatrist who is a medical doctor can prescribe medications that can heal the illness that your genetics in your brain suffers.

It is cool to "stand on your own 2 feet" and "lift yourself up by your own bootstraps". However, it is more humane to yourself as well as everyone else when we live in a civilized society when you can accept the fact that you need help...

I disagree that I've dumped on anyone, though...The discussion actually turns from substance to content and categorization and appropriateness.

What I expect to get from posting: what anyone expect to get from posting... maybe a good discussion where we learn from each other.

IMHO, you should have posted in the "Dating and Relationships". Yes, I know, big whoopdee doo... But, you are saying you want to learn something from each other... Well, I am quite learned and I have several degrees. But, what I have most, is life experience from very bad storms in my life... So, I know it hurts.

How come you are so very hot and bothered by one woman?

[AlexMack]

Joe...a little advice that can help.

Women don't 'like' assholes. We like self-confidence. That's why we wind up with total pricks. Nice guys finish last because they're so concerned with how we are, are we okay, what are we feeling? Self-confidence, bro. That's what you need.

My other advice-you need atypical places to look for chicks. My advice are martial arts classes. Not because you're asian. Because they develop self-confidence, so as you're learning to be more assertive, chicks in those classes will notice that and it will come out. Take from it from an ex-martial artist. I hate saying that but it doesn't look like I'll get back to practicing anytime soon. Single guy, single girl. A martial arts class is a great way to meet people. It really is. Some of my best friends came from there. Some of my ex-boyfriends came from there!

Self-confidence my man. We don't want an asshole, we want a self-confident nice guy.

[afboiler]

Originally Posted by JosephWang

And what's more, the fact is that it is impossible for boys and girls to be just friends. Unless they happen to be homosexual.

You might have a little beta boy that you pal around with and tell all your problems to, but he secretly wants you in bed and you secretly know that.

I am not homosexual and some of my best friends are guys...and they don't want to secretly "bed" me as you put it...just b/c this might be your story does not mean all guys are like that...if you are in your 30's you need to grow up and learn to deal with life....there are much worse things going on then you not having a good date

[PiKA2001]

Originally Posted by Knoxstudent

I didn't know that there are two types of males (alpha and beta). What is the difference?

IMHO it's bullshit, yeah there are a lot of people that fit into either an A or B type personality, but i've known way more that show traits of both or have a lot of gray areas.