My Boyfriend's Fraternity Hates My Sorority

[WhiteRose1912]

Originally Posted by Jp685

He told me straight up they had higher tier sororities to mix with and I asked if he thought his fraternity was above my sorority and he answered "What? Of course not!" In the absolute most sarcastic way possible. I don't know if I should be angry or sad.

I'm sorry you had to deal with such a shitty attitude, but I'm glad you've figured things out.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I hope he prefaced that with "my brothers said" and added to the end "I'm sorry honey, there's nothing I can do about it." If not, you might want to rethink your relationship.

I second this. It also sounds as if you have some awesome sisters who have their heads on straight.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Fair enough. I'm just trying to distinguish between "these women suck" and "these women did a sucky thing once."

Which is certainly a valid distinction.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

I'm obviously in the minority here, but I don't understand the big deal. Unless you are on a campus where there are 1-3 sororities and 1-3 fraternities, I'm not sure why you are freaking out over your boyfriends frat not "doing things" with your sorority.
......
If it is such a big deal to you (which you should really be finding out if it is a big deal to the rest of the chapter and not just you), you should follow the advice given and try to plan a mixer. If it's only you who really cares that your boyfriends frat isn't hanging out with y'all, you kind of just need to get over it. If your chapter as a whole doesn't care that his frat wants nothing to do with them...you then just need to let it go.

All of this.

Originally Posted by 33girl

I hope he prefaced that with "my brothers said" and added to the end "I'm sorry honey, there's nothing I can do about it." If not, you might want to rethink your relationship.

Originally Posted by als463

You should be angry...that you're dating a tool.

Originally Posted by sigmagirl2000

I don't think you should be sad or angry, I think you should be happy that he revealed his inner jackass now so that you can not waste any more time with a tool like him.

Originally Posted by AZTheta

My Panhellenic sisters just nailed it.

Nothing left to say.

Exactly.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

I'm obviously in the minority here, but I don't understand the big deal. Unless you are on a campus where there are 1-3 sororities and 1-3 fraternities, I'm not sure why you are freaking out over your boyfriends frat not "doing things" with your sorority.

Maybe its because I went to a big Greek campus (where with 12 sororities and like 15 fraternities it was more likely you wouldn't "partner" with a fraternity than you would).

You can't change things that happened before you were a member of the chapter. You also can't change the opinions (very easily) of the more established, older members of your boyfriends fraternity.

If it is such a big deal to you (which you should really be finding out if it is a big deal to the rest of the chapter and not just you), you should follow the advice given and try to plan a mixer. If it's only you who really cares that your boyfriends frat isn't hanging out with y'all, you kind of just need to get over it. If your chapter as a whole doesn't care that his frat wants nothing to do with them...you then just need to let it go.

I don't see the big deal, either. His friends don't like your friends. You're not dating his friends. Your friends aren't dating his friends. Eff it. Not your problem.

If they say bad things about your sisters in front of you, look them square in the eye and say "My sisters are amazing. You don't know that though, because you don't hang out with them." and then walk away. This isn't your problem to solve. If the chapter wants to deal with it, great. If they don't, let it go.

Worrying about what his friends think about your friends just screams insecurity.

They're "We're too good because we're climbing the social rankings" screams insecurity even louder. Groups that are that focused on ranking are trying too hard and are never really going to excel as a group. Don't get caught up in their games.

[sigmagirl2000]

I don't think you should be sad or angry, I think you should be happy that he revealed his inner jackass now so that you can not waste any more time with a tool like him.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I hope he prefaced that with "my brothers said" and added to the end "I'm sorry honey, there's nothing I can do about it." If not, you might want to rethink your relationship.

Originally Posted by als463

You should be angry...that you're dating a tool.

Originally Posted by sigmagirl2000

I don't think you should be sad or angry, I think you should be happy that he revealed his inner jackass now so that you can not waste any more time with a tool like him.

My Panhellenic sisters just nailed it.

Nothing left to say.

[xibair]

Originally Posted by als463

You should be angry...that you're dating a tool.

Originally Posted by sigmagirl2000

I don't think you should be sad or angry, I think you should be happy that he revealed his inner jackass now so that you can not waste any more time with a tool like him.

Originally Posted by AZTheta

My Panhellenic sisters just nailed it.

Nothing left to say.

Amen Ladies!

[als463]

Originally Posted by xibair

Amen Ladies!

Hahaha...Xibair and AZTheta, you ladies rock! You get it!

[snowflakemom]

There are probably good reasons why your sorority is mixing with the fraternities that they do mix with--it sounds like you should be socializing with these guys that value your sorority. You'll probably meet some great guys!

The social climber guys in college usually end up being the social climber guys even when they're in their 40's and think, do you really want to end up with that?
(no offense against social climbing but if it's not your thing, you'll be miserable living the social climbing life)

[DubaiSis]

My chapter definitely did not have the social schedule that most of the sororities on campus had, which always bugged us. We had an exchange scheduled for one night with a fraternity we definitely did not dig. It also coincided with a chapter visit from an ELC. She completely berated us for being exactly what we didn't like about the fraternities who thought they were too good for us. She told us to put on our big girl pants, suck it up and have a good time regardless of the guys or the letters over the door. We did and we did and we did, and it is one of the more memorable exchanges for my 4 years in college.

So do THAT.

And by the way, with the nature of my chapter, I can't imagine us having an exchange every week. Some chapters had them more than once a week. That is a lot of pressure to be FUN. It would have been nice to have a couple more per semester to give us a more well-rounded social experience, but I don't regret being in a more subdued chapter probably seen as boring by the others.

If there are 10 fraternities on campus and you are mixing with the bottom 5 (sorry, in this conversation, I think ranking is the only way it will work), work on that #6 fraternity, not the #1 or #2. Invite #6 to work on your philanthropy with you or something else that isn't Homecoming or Greekweek. That's a lot to ask if they've never mixed with you before or in so long that nobody remembers.

[DubaiSis]

Sometimes a person THINKS they have problem A when in truth they have problem B. She came here looking for ways to improve her sorority's relationship with a fraternity. With a little counsel she realized they're (both the fraternity AND possibly him) not worth it. This is one example where seeking advice from strangers can be helpful. The same advice from people closer to the problem might have been brushed off as cynical, too aggressive, giving up too easily, whatever.

[DrPhil]

In that case, I don't understand this thread. I hope the OP doesn't jump to relationship conclusions based on Greekdom and Greekchat.

[Jp685]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

In that case, I don't understand this thread. I hope the OP doesn't jump to relationship conclusions based on Greekdom and Greekchat.

I know breaking up with a boy over the greek system is probably stupid, but he was just so pretentious and exclusive. Like I can go to their parties and bring a couple sisters with me, but the only reason I can do that is because I was dating a brother. If any of my sisters tried to go to a party without me, they wouldn't be allowed in. It's just childish like grow up. They know my sisters and they aren't bad people but because they aren't a "higher tier" sorority- nope sorry can't come in we're full. I just don't feel like putting up with that shallow mindset anymore. It just brings me down and makes me think I'm not good enough either when I know in reality we are all equal. We're all college students, we all got into the same school, and we all have the same requirements to graduate. It's just annoying. Plus like other people said after college he will still probably be in the same mindset and hanging out with the same brothers that don't like my sisters. It's just going to be more drama, and I don't have time for that. I'd rather meet a nice boy that gets along with me and my friends lol.

[DrPhil]

Other than Greekdom, what are your issues?