how do sororities decide? - Page 4

Leslie Anne · #1 02-08-2009, 10:03 PM

This is the thing though. We all have read about a hundred Recruitment stories that didn't end well. Countless times the PNM didn't give every sorority a fair chance but can't believe that they ended up bidless. I'm sorry but it's one of my pet peeves.

We've also been asked a hundred times how the sororities choose. I have to be blunt here; it doesn't matter. If you didn't get a bid where you wanted it doesn't have anything to do with their membership selection process. It has to do with you.

I'm not saying that you're not intelligent, pretty or friendly. But there's got to be something that didn't appeal to the sororities that you wanted. I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you but you've got to turn the questioning away from how the sororities choose and back onto yourself.

beccaminister · #2 02-08-2009, 10:24 PM

If your attitude to the "less desirable" sorority was that it "wasn't worth it" to go through the effort of going to their party, what on EARTH makes you think that the "more desirable" sororities will even consider you? You essentially made a mockery of the recruitment process because it wasn't going your way. You threw a fit because you didn't get your way and are now trying to defend your actions. While I may not know for sure, I can guess that once the other organizations find out how you "blew off" the one you didn't want, you won't be very high on anyone's list anytime soon.

Instead of whining here on GC, perhaps you should 1. write a letter of apology to the sorority you ditched. 2. write a letter of apology to panhellenic and 3. stop making excuses here on GC because people who are at your school and in the "better sororities" in which you are seeking membership are reading here and making decisions based on the things you are saying.

tld221 · #3 02-08-2009, 11:24 PM

They're just not that into you, OP.

None of them.

LadyLonghorn · #4 02-09-2009, 01:09 AM

My guess would be the sororities judged you in the same way you judged the chapter whose pref party was beneath you.

swtlilsoni · #5 02-09-2009, 01:15 AM

Wow. beneath me? I never claimed to be better than them. I think everyone would agree that there are some sororities that you connect with, and some you dont. Most people say you just know, as soon as you step into a house, talk to the girls, feel comfortable, feel at home you know its for you. There are others you know arent for you. This was one of them. It seems like your twisting everything up and putting words in my mouth so you can belittle me.

TriDeltaSallie · #6 02-09-2009, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

Wow. beneath me? I never claimed to be better than them. I think everyone would agree that there are some sororities that you connect with, and some you dont. Most people say you just know, as soon as you step into a house, talk to the girls, feel comfortable, feel at home you know its for you. There are others you know arent for you. This was one of them. It seems like your twisting everything up and putting words in my mouth so you can belittle me.

Agreed.

This entire thread is a great example of people thinking they are reading what someone is posting, but instead they are reading things into it.

This PNM never said the group she chose not to pref was beneath her. She said she knew she would not accept a bid. Last I knew that wasn't a crime and in fact we tell people all the time to not accept an invite to pref if they know they won't accept it because they are potentially taking the spot of someone who might really want to be there.

People jumped to conclusions that she somehow felt she was superior. She never said that she would only join a top chapter. People are reading things into her comments.

I also don't think she ever complained about not getting a bid. She made comments that she was trying to sort out what happened with people who might have more insight than she has. Just because dozens of rude PNMs have asked these questions before and annoyed people here doesn't mean that she is another one of them.

And, no, I am not reaching in my comment about perhaps she is a Christian and didn't want to pref a historically Jewish sorority. I'm sure this happens quite often going both ways.

LadyLonghorn · #7 02-09-2009, 06:00 PM

Oh please. Whenever a PMN comes here complaining about being cut from all chapters except one or two, it's never because they weren't cut from the "top tier/beautiful model/rocket scientist/fraternity favorite/insert your tent talk hyperbole here." It's always because they "don't click/fit in" with the "struggling/smallest/fatty/ugly/lamest/insert your tent talk smash and bash here." They don't want to be one of those.

It's like a secret code that few here want to admit. And it's the reason why struggling chapters continue into a death spiral in spite of RFM.

TriDeltaSallie · #8 02-09-2009, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn

Oh please. Whenever a PMN comes here complaining about being cut from all chapters except one or two, it's never because they weren't cut from the "top tier/beautiful model/rocket scientist/fraternity favorite/insert your tent talk hyperbole here." It's always because they "don't click/fit in" with the "struggling/smallest/fatty/ugly/lamest/insert your tent talk smash and bash here." They don't want to be one of those.

I disagree because this would be making assumptions. While what you are saying may often be true, we can't assume that it is true of every PNM who posts here.

As Greek women we fight stereotypes all the time. We, of all people, should be going out of our way to avoid stereotyping others.

And, no, not everyone who goes through rush wants to be in a top house. There are plenty of women who intuitively know that they would not be a good fit for them for whatever reason.

epchick · #9 02-09-2009, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

As Greek women we fight stereotypes all the time. We, of all people, should be going out of our way to avoid stereotyping others.

Why? We are human, it's human nature to do things like that.

Stop putting "Greek women" on a pedastal, acting like we are these high and might people that need to educate the masses about GLOs.

AOII Angel · #10 02-09-2009, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

This PNM never said the group she chose not to pref was beneath her. She said she knew she would not accept a bid. Last I knew that wasn't a crime and in fact we tell people all the time to not accept an invite to pref if they know they won't accept it because they are potentially taking the spot of someone who might really want to be there.

No...actually, GCers recommend that PNMs attend ALL prefs that they can but only sign a bid card if they are willing to accept a bid. Accepting an invite to pref will in no way take a spot away from someone who might truly want it. Going to a pref party will only give the PNM and the chapter one last chance to find a connection. Though I agree that the OP did not say she was better than the chapter that invited her to pref, but I also agree that she made a hasty decision to decline the pref invitation. In the end, she only hurt herself.

swtlilsoni · #11 02-09-2009, 01:22 AM

By knowing alot I dont mean rumors, I mean by interacting with them.

AOEforme · #12 02-09-2009, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

By knowing alot I dont mean rumors, I mean by interacting with them.

I'm just curious where/how/when you interacted with them. Frat parties? Classes? Did you see a girl who acted like a bi*** in their letters?

swtlilsoni · #13 02-09-2009, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOEforme

I'm just curious where/how/when you interacted with them. Frat parties? Classes? Did you see a girl who acted like a bi*** in their letters?

No I actually don't go to frat parties that much, Ive been to alot of their meet the sisters and other events, and I know a few of the girls.

AOEforme · #14 02-09-2009, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

No I actually don't go to frat parties that much, Ive been to alot of their meet the sisters and other events, and I know a few of the girls.

I'm just confused then: As I see it you're either (1) Listening to tent talk, rumors, judging those ladies based on appearance, etc. or (2) letting a few bad eggs ruin what could be a great experience.

If you like those girls you know, if they're your friends, I don't understand what about this sorority (other than rumors and superficial reasons) is putting you off and making you think you wouldn't fit. Do they not mix with the top fraternities? Did one of the girls you know not get a good bid day package? Did she feel lonely during her NM period? Are they not the size 0 blondes?

If you don't like those girls you know, you wouldn't (and I can say this with nearly 100% confidence) like every girl in your top choice either. I took an oath to love all my sisters, but honestly (and everyone else will tell you this too) there are some girls in my chapter I just don't get along with. And I prolly never will, no matter how hard I try. We're friendly, but will never be BFFs. It happens in every chapter, everywhere.

Also, if you really have been to a lot of their events, you've shown geniune interest in their organization and of course they asked you back. But, being invited to pref means that they (the only people who truely know that organization) think that you would fit in. If they've had time BEFORE formal recruitment to get to know you, that makes me think all the more that they were probably correct. It's a shame you didn't give them a try.

swtlilsoni · #15 02-09-2009, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOEforme

I'm just confused then: As I see it you're either (1) Listening to tent talk, rumors, judging those ladies based on appearance, etc. or (2) letting a few bad eggs ruin what could be a great experience.

If you like those girls you know, if they're your friends, I don't understand what about this sorority (other than rumors and superficial reasons) is putting you off and making you think you wouldn't fit. Do they not mix with the top fraternities? Did one of the girls you know not get a good bid day package? Did she feel lonely during her NM period? Are they not the size 0 blondes?

If you don't like those girls you know, you wouldn't (and I can say this with nearly 100% confidence) like every girl in your top choice either. I took an oath to love all my sisters, but honestly (and everyone else will tell you this too) there are some girls in my chapter I just don't get along with. And I prolly never will, no matter how hard I try. We're friendly, but will never be BFFs. It happens in every chapter, everywhere.

Also, if you really have been to a lot of their events, you've shown geniune interest in their organization and of course they asked you back. But, being invited to pref means that they (the only people who truely know that organization) think that you would fit in. If they've had time BEFORE formal recruitment to get to know you, that makes me think all the more that they were probably correct. It's a shame you didn't give them a try.

hmm well I have a question for you
what about people who dont accept bids? Is that not okay?
Basically, are you saying that its wrong to not want to join a certain sorority or have preferences among chapters?
I mean, after attending each party we have to rank the chapters in order of preference .. is that wrong?
If a girl is in a certain chapter that fits her, are you saying that she would have been just as fine in any of the other ones?
I still feel like there are certain chapters you fit in and certain chapters that arent right for you ..

I'm really not trying to argue or anything I'm just trying to understand if by what your saying, you mean any sorority is good for any girl and one can fit in any of them? or are you saying since they think I was a fit they must have been correct?

I think what your trying to get at is that the sorority thought I would be right for them so they were probably right..
Well sometimes a girl finds a connection but the sorority eliminates her right? So why is it not okay if a sorority finds a connection but a girl doesnt?

And those girls that I know .. I know them but it doesnt mean I'm good friends with them. Think back to highschool, didn't you know a bunch of people but you fit in and had a bond with others? I know these girls and I speak to them and see them around every now and then but we never had enough of a connection to become good friends.
And you're probably right that even in my top choice there are going to be a few girls I dont have a bond with .. but does that make it equivalent to another choice in which I haven't found a bond with anyone save one or two in?