advice needed

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by sadiemae

...My daughter's (I'll call her Susie) AU rush experience was also disappointing. I was Greek at a much smaller school and hope some of you can give me insight into where Susie's rush took a wrong turn...

You did nothing wrong. You did everything right. Why did it happen? There will never be an answer for that...my daughter rushed 6 years ago and was dropped, and I still wonder why (she later pledged COB). You mentioned you went to a smaller school...it's hard to understand just how BIG a rush with 1,200 girls is. It is so big that groups have to cut girls for no reason at all, just to get to the number they're allowed. And sometimes there is no reason for cutting somebody. It's frustrating. Legacy? I don't think it really matters if she did or did not put it down. Most groups know that the big ones can't take all their legacies...it's a consideration, but a small one.
The only thing that I think she should have done differently is to return to the houses she was invited to. Opinions can change from one party to another. Rushees have to realize that when they limit themselves to just a few groups, the numbers are simply stacked against them. She had invitations...plenty of girls got none, or only 1 or 2. She should have gone. BUT...we moms hurt worse than our daughters! She will make plenty more friends at Auburn and who knows? She may still COB a great chapter. If not, she will still probably have a very successful college career. Auburn's a very friendly, inclusive campus, and it's possible to be totally happy there without being Greek.

[sadiemae]

Thanks for your encouragement. I know in my head that you are very right. My heart is just not there yet.

From the beginning, I did encourage Susie to finish out the process. She withdrew before talking with me. She did say her counselor, whom she liked very much, agreed that withdrawing was the thing to do if Susie truly felt the way she said she did.

How does the fact that Susie withdrew from rush effect her opportunities to pledge a later time?

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by sadiemae

Thanks for your encouragement. I know in my head that you are very right. My heart is just not there yet.
I certainly understand!
From the beginning, I did encourage Susie to finish out the process. She withdrew before talking with me. She did say her counselor, whom she liked very much, agreed that withdrawing was the thing to do if Susie truly felt the way she said she did.
The counselor was wrong. Sounds like she was either poorly trained or had a lot going on.
How does the fact that Susie withdrew from rush effect her opportunities to pledge a later time?

If she waits until next fall, being an upperclassmen will affect her chances. Some simply won't consider upperclassmen, or only ones with ties already in place. Unless things change, Auburn, unlike Alabama, does not have a "free upperclassmen quota." Many of the groups do NOT automatically discount sophomores and above, but the ones they pledge often have friends inside the groups.
Hey, groups DO lose a few new members after Bid Day, and often discreetly replaces them with COB girls. It's usually somebody they know.

[sadiemae]

Please don't think poorly of Susie's counselor. There is a very good chance of misunderstanding between Susie and the counselor and/or Susie and me.

So, the fact that Susie withdrew from rush does not eliminate her from open bidding? I do realize that she has to sign up for open bidding, if she is interested.

[Low C Sharp]

The Greek life office did NOT send out those letters, since there ISN'T a Greek life office at Princeton.

But so what? What magical change happens when a university employee is labeled "Greek life advisor" instead of "dean of students" or "president"? How does s/he become bound by NPC rules?

Plus, the Greek life director at the above named schools is most likely an NPC member herself. Therefore, she should be following NPC rules.

Even if she is an NPC member (the director is just as likely to be an IFC or NPHC member), most sorority alumnae wisely put loyalty to their employer above loyalty to the NPC. The "above named schools" are public schools, and the Greek Life director is a state employee with a duty to serve the taxpayers of the state, who pay her to look after the interests of their college-age kids. She has no business prioritizing the NPC's directives above telling the truth to those kids.

And on a practical level, what is NPC going to do besides get PO'd? Sure, the constituent GLOs would pull charters if houses had wet rush. But the advisor's sorority would never in a million years kick her out of alumna status for telling PNMs the truth that they need to seek recs on their own. Nor would it de-recognize the college panhellenic over something the local Greek advisor said...because, as stated above, that person is not under Panhellenic control.
________
ROLL A JOINT

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

But the advisor's sorority would never in a million years kick her out of alumna status for telling PNMs the truth that they need to seek recs on their own.

Really? You know this how?

I really doubt the Greek advisor at someplace like Bama or Auburn is going to rock the Panhellenic boat in any way unless it comes from the top down - i.e. if the President of the university says "you must tell freshmen they need recs." And like I said before...I really don't think the people in those positions (Pres, etc) care or will do anything unless they get angry phone calls from parents.

Like I said, I don't know why that resolution was initially passed. It could have been something like chapters at smaller schools not being able to pledge girls because the girls didn't know anyone Greek who could send in a rec for them. I think there's one chapter at my school that does state anyone who joins must have a rec letter, and if they waited for the girls to find someone who was an alum and get the letter to them, the girls would be pledges for forever or never get initiated. If other schools have twisted it around, it's really not NPC's fault.