advice needed

[luvinlife]

I hope I can get advice from you all....My neice is in her third round. She received invitations to 6 sororities. She is devistated that the 2 she loved the most dropped her on this last round. One of them was a legacy. With the 6 she has left, she loves 2 of them, and cannot see herself at all with the other 4. She positively knows that she does not want to be in these 4. Should she be quiet("shy") with these 4 houses, so that she is not invited back?

[FSUZeta]

she should not be "shy" because she does not know who will invite her back and they may be her only chance to participate in greek life this year. she may revisit the 4 she thinks she does not like and fall in love with them. we have seen that happen in gc threads. if her attitude toward them does not change, she should NOT list them on her bid card.

[SWTXBelle]

I concur - encourage her to present her "best self" at ALL the parties. If she doesn't change her mind about some of the other 4, she certainly doesn't have to put them on her pref card.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

First of all, NPC, you meant imply, not infer.

Second of all, university Greek life offices are not bound by NPC rules. They can tell PNMs the truth, and they have no excuse if they don't.

Third of all, if NPC thinks it's a bad thing that PNMs at some schools have to secure recs themselves, the solution is to change the REALITY, not to forbid people from telling the truth about reality. Either all the NPCs at that meeting in 1992 were represented by members who have no idea how things work at big SEC-type campuses (not plausible) or they actually imposed a national policy of hiding the truth.

I hope that the second part of third items isn't the case, but as far as the first three, yeah.

[Bamamom13]

To: auburnmom2007

This is my first post, although I have been reading for quite a while. My daughter rushed at Bama last year and although she had recs for each chapter, legacy to one, beautiful, great gpa etc. she fell through the cracks and was crushed. She did all that everyone is saying to you. She made Dean's list, got involved on campua, made lots of wonderful friends. She re-rushed this year, found it to be easier going the second time around and got her first choice. The advice you are getting is really good advice and works! My d found that there is life without being greek, even at bama, but she will tell you now that greek is the best.

[auburnmom2007]

thank you for your reply. my d mailed the COB form today, what does everyone think about rush as a soph? at auburn. Any advice or ideas?

[carnation]

Several sophs do get bids at Auburn but they don't necessarily get their top choices unless they've stood out in some way--grades, activities, and so on--like bamamom13s daughter! And she should make sure that she gets to know lots of sorority women well so they can stand up for her in selection sessions.

[33girl]

First off, thanks Sandy for finding that resolution. I knew there was something like that written somewhere.

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Second of all, university Greek life offices are not bound by NPC rules. They can tell PNMs the truth, and they have no excuse if they don't.

Actually, yes they are bound by NPC rules. If they weren't, there would probably be some schools that had wet rush or that just asked a new NPC sorority onto campus if girls wanted one, phooey on the expansion procedures.

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Third of all, if NPC thinks it's a bad thing that PNMs at some schools have to secure recs themselves, the solution is to change the REALITY, not to forbid people from telling the truth about reality. Either all the NPCs at that meeting in 1992 were represented by members who have no idea how things work at big SEC-type campuses (not plausible) or they actually imposed a national policy of hiding the truth.

If I've got my timing right and no one did a double term or passed, the chairmanship of NPC at the time WOULD have been held by a member from a group that doesn't have any chapters at SEC schools. They may have put forward that resolution with a pure at heart motive (i.e. recs are stupid and no one should get preferential treatment) but that doesn't mean the other members voted on it that way.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by 33girl

They may have put forward that resolution with a pure at heart motive (i.e. recs are stupid and no one should get preferential treatment) but that doesn't mean the other members voted on it that way.

Do you really think this or is it a hypothetical reason?

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by auburnmom2007

thank you for your reply. my d mailed the COB form today, what does everyone think about rush as a soph? at auburn. Any advice or ideas?

I think your daughter should take this just one step at a time.

If she's interested in COB (and since she sent in the COB form, I'd assume that she's interested), then she should focus on COB.

If, for some reason, COB doesn't work out to her liking, then she should focus on earning a good GPA, getting involved in non-Greek activities, and getting to know lots of sorority women over the course of her first year at Auburn.

Then, and only then, should she start to worry about rushing as a sophomore. Since she's looking into COB, worrying about rushing as a sophomore might be a moot point.

[33girl]

Semi hypothetical, semi I do kind of think that. You have to understand that I'm coming from a sorority experience that's 180 degrees from Auburn or Bama. I never had to sit in MS meetings till 4 AM trying to figure out why to keep that one and why to cut that one.

I think it's more the "information only" recs that I think are pointless. If you don't know the girl from Eve, why would you tell your sisters to take a second look at her?

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Semi hypothetical, semi I do kind of think that. You have to understand that I'm coming from a sorority experience that's 180 degrees from Auburn or Bama. I never had to sit in MS meetings till 4 AM trying to figure out why to keep that one and why to cut that one.

I think it's more the "information only" recs that I think are pointless. If you don't know the girl from Eve, why would you tell your sisters to take a second look at her?

I agree that the best recs are from people who know the girls well. But in cases where the girls doesn't know anyone in the group, I think writing second-hand recs based on information from someone you know personally who knows the girls personally is okay as long as you are honest on the RIF.

And an info. only rec that verified the information on the PNM is a little better than just getting the rush application, I think. But you are right that if you don't know the person at all, don't know anyone who knows her, and aren't checking out the information, you're not really doing much to benefit the chapter.

I think what people should keep in mind about recs and the SEC is that going to a system that downplayed them would probably actually be worse for the unknown or out-of-state girls. At least now there's a chance that a member from the girl's hometown can get the chapter to take a look at her. Without recs, it would be closer to exclusively based on who the girls in the chapter already knew personally before recruitment, and that would leave even more PNMs out in the cold (or heat if we consider the actual recruitment environment).

There's really no way to back off the who you already know aspect, I don't think. I don't get the impression that Ole Miss or Vandy are really any better deferred.

[aopirose]

auburnmom2007, just hang in there. It is rough seeing your child hurt but it does get better. D has done the right thing by registering for COR but in the meantime, she should get involved with other school activities and concentrate on her grades. Whatever happens, I wish you and D the best.

[Low C Sharp]

yes they are bound by NPC rules

By what authority? I agree that the college PANHELLENIC (meaning the actives and their chapters) is bound by those rules, since the constituent GLOs have all agreed to follow the rules and could pull the charters of the chapters if they had wet rush. But if I'm the dean of students at the University of Michigan, and I decide to hire Jane Doe to be the Greek Advisor, then Jane Doe works for me and for the State of Michigan. Where would NPC get the power to control what Jane says? She has never agreed to follow their rules or be under their jurisdiction.

NPC has authority only to the extent that its constituent members agree in advance to cooperate and follow its rules. It has no power to control what outside players do. Note, for example, that a few years ago, the president of Princeton sent a letter to the whole freshman class saying that GLOs are bad and detrimental and urging students not to join them. I'm willing to bet that this went against some NPC policy. But NPC does not get to control what Princeton employees tell Princeton students about sorority recruitment.
________
Iratzu cam

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by NOLA25

My daughter just went through recruitment at Alabama. Before pref night, each PNM was given a booklet (Preference Primer). It states if you are invited to one pref party and you place one choice on your pref card, you have maximized your options and you will receive a bid from that chapter. If you are invited to two pref parties and you place those two choices on your pref card, you will receive a bid from one of those two chapters. If your are invited to 3 pref parties and and you place those three choices on your pref card, you will receive a bid from one of those chapters. You are guaranteed a bid if you have maximized your options in any of these situations.

Very interesting, NOLA25. That "Preference Primer" information sounds like the way I personally think guaranteed matching should work -- but I know that campuses can and do operate differently. I would encourage you to post the information in this thread, too:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=89527

(It’s the one entitled “Gaurenteed matching” in the main “Recruitment” forum.)