THE "bottom" sorority

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by Sunny3

I was amazed and thankful to everyone who took the time to write a response. There is some good advice in the posts.
I would like to clarify a few things. My daughter does go to a SEC school, and her pledge class has well over 100 girls. If you haven't already figured out which school this is, you may private message me if really interested in knowing.
My daughter is not one of those cheerleader/homecoming queen/4.0 student who has had everything she ever wanted. She was not even in the "popular clique" in high school, although she did have a great circle of friends. Like thousands of other girls across the country, she is beautiful, intelligent, and has won several athletic/scholastic awards. She actually had a higher g.p.a. than every other single girl going through recruitment from her high school. All of the others from her high school (about a dozen) got their first or second choice sorority-all chapters with former high school classmates; so something just doesn't feel right to me. She was definitely more than acquaintances with them, but not best friends. Regardless, she has moved on. She is the first person in my extended family to join a Greek organization, and before this summer, I did not even know the name of more than two sororities. Her dad and I do not care what letters she wears, we just want her to be happy.
The chapter does not have a house, but I feel certain that it will within the next five

Originally Posted by Sunny3

years or so. I am not aware of any plans to begin construction, nor do I know if a suitable piece of property has even been found yet. Many of the actives live in a Greek "living center" on campus. Members of the new fraternities also reside there. There is no large, central area to have gatherings, though, and the pledges do not even have access to the building as it is locked at all times. Of course, the girls do go out in small groups. They eat dinner together/go to movies/play miniature golf etc. etc. They really need a place to spend unstructured time together, however-a place to hang out in pajamas and watch Netflix/bake cookies together/stay up all night talking etc. In addition, on this campus, not having a house truly does negatively impact recruitment.
I don't think I was very clear in my first post. I suppose what I would really like advice on is how to get my daughter to believe in herself again. Before recruitment, she

Originally Posted by Sunny3

was an independent, self-confident young lady. In the span of a mere six days though, she became an emotional wreck. I do not care how many times they are told not to take it personally, being cut IS personal. In fact, it is probably one of THE most personal things ever. These girls are away from home, isolated during the day, and then told that ABC does not want you. That is enough to cause even the most confident person to question themselves. The university does a very poor job of preparing the PMN's also. They are led to believe that they actually get to choose which sorority they want, and many are shocked at the first round of cuts. On bid day, my daughter kept asking me what was wrong with her. She had become convinced that she had some major personality flaw because every sorority but one did not want her. Of course, she also started feeling inferior to the girls in the "top" sororities especially. The sad thing is, it seems like to me many of the girls join a "top" house, regardless of whether they are a good fit or not, for precisely that reason. They enjoy feeling better than everybody else. It took 18 years for my daughter to develop into the lovely young woman she is today, but only one week to break her down. We just want her to get a good education, find a good set of friends, and be happy. First, however, we have got to make her see that she is still the same wonderful young woman she was before she went through recruitment.

QFP so that I can respond when I get back from swimming.