THE "bottom" sorority

[AZTheta]

Sunny3,

This may sound harsh, but I need to say it. Let her figure this out on her own. You can't do it all for her. What comes across to me is that you, as her mom, are taking this very hard. And I understand that, because that's a huge part of being a parent. I saw a quote once: "When you have a child, part of your heart goes walking around outside your body for the rest of your life" and I believe that is true.

HOWEVER, this is her life. Not yours. And recruitment didn't go the way that you or she thought it would; but she received a bid, and she's going to have a lifetime of membership, if she so chooses. Comparing your daughter to others who received bids from "more desirable" chapters (I'm steeling myself to even type those words) is counter-productive. In this situation, things played out differently than you or she thought they would, and it's over. To me, there is a happy ending - she got a bid!

I've observed that for some unknown reason(s), this current generation of parents/children has a very difficult time with rejection. Maybe it's that "everyone gets a trophy" mentality? I don't know. If she is, in fact, as strong as you described, this is a bump in the road. It is tuition in the school of life. I've written about this in other threads; early disappointments and rejections are far preferable to those that occur for the first time at age 18 when there is no immediate support system in place. And, defining oneself by greek letters or the opinions of others is a sure fire recipe for heartbreak. A very wise 23 year old that I have advised says "well, if I didn't get ("fill in the blank") it means there's something else coming along" and she's right. She's had some huge disappointments, but there has always, always been something else that was different, and usually better, than the thing that was disappointing to her at the time.

That said, I am willing to bet that your daughter is going to have a great college experience. Know that three months from now (or even sooner) things are going to look completely different. Please stick around, and let us know how she's doing, and how you're doing as well.