Adopting a Snowflake

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by carnation

My husband and I did a seminar once for local couples interested in international adoption. There were 13 couples and ten had actually had domestic babies in their homes who were reclaimed by the birthmothers. They knew that the chances of that happening in international adoption were practically nil.

Some states say that the birthmom can reclaim the baby any time during 6 months, which happened to a pledge sister of mine who'd had a baby for several weeks, and others have varying amounts of time. We personally know a couple whose child was reclaimed after 3 years because the birthmother lied about who the birthfather was; the real BF got out of jail and found out he had a child and wanted her...and got her, despite his police record.

So-- I can see loads of reasons why families would choose to parent snowflakes and some have them carried by surrogate moms overseas; there's only so much heartbreak you can take.

Oh my word.

THREE years? Oh my. You know what though, as someone who has done a little research on adoption and read some about, I have heard of that scenario happening. Mom lies about dad to the agency (because she knows that dad has to sign off on it and knows he'd never agree to it if he knew she was pregnant.) Says he's dead or something. The adoption proceeds as if she is a single mom. A year or so later, dad hears through the grapevine that he has a kid. He gets pissed. Contests it in court and the adoption is overturned because the kid has a bio parent who never terminated his parental rights. Many times the adopted parents knew NOTHING about a dad so obviously they are crushed.

Sometimes dad is an upstanding citizen. Sometimes (like in the case of your sorortity sister) he's not.

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

Good job, KV, on your explanation. My husband & I are in the beginning stages of this whole mess right now & it's really intimidating. (We're sticking with infant adoption b/c we don't think that, as first time parents, we would be prepared to handle a lot of the issues that come with older child adoption. Also, the experience of parenting a baby is something that my husband would really miss if we went a different route.)

Good luck to you!