Quote:
Originally Posted by Zillini
...No Recs are a real rarity. Alums have to really, really, really think this PNM is bad to write a No Rec. Most times they'll just not write a Rec at all rather than sharing negative info with the chapter....the biggest concern I hear from alums is they are fearful it would get out that they No Rec'd a girl. They don't want to offend the parents, family, friends, etc...
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Wow, that IS a consideration, especially if there are several folks from the hometown in the chapter or advising. I hadn't thought about that.
Here's what I do when there is a concern: write the rec. Either DON"T sign it, or (now) check the box that says "I do not recommend" (or whatever it says...can't remember exactly what it says).
THEN I put a hand-written Post-It note saying "CALL ME FIRST" with my name and phone number.
That way, I can relay my concerns to the correct person...and it's not written down anywhere, so there is no chance of any libel issues.
Now...I have seen a chapter or two go ahead and pledge a girl despite (strong) warnings from an alum. In fact, I've done it - when the alum's concerns proved to be trivial.
But it is NOT something you want to do all the time. NOT a good way to get alumnae support!
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