Michelle,
I occasionally have to write a no rec on somebody. I check the box for "I do not recommend" and attach a Post-It note that says "PLEASE CALL ME FOR DETAILS." That way there is nothing written that could come back to haunt you or the chapter later. If they do not call, call them. (No, I would not e-mail - lingering e-mails are as bad as something written.) When you talk to them, you can outline your reasons. OR you can ask a fellow ADPi to write the rec. Drinking and smoking pot may be harmless to some people, but it's a risk a chapter would take in pledging this person.
And to Tom and you guys, you may think it's no big deal if somebody joins another chapter of your fraternity, but sororities have organization-wide ties and events that may mean you could run into this person the rest of your life.
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