Advice Needed

[Mizzou14]

I am a freshman. I grew up around sorority life in an SEC college town and I absolutely knew that greek life was for me. I had this fantasy that I would find my home and have this amazing experience that everyone around me was having.

I went through recruitment with great success. I go to a school where I knew virtually no one. On the first day, I was cut by a few houses, but nothing too upsetting. I went through the next 2 cut days without being cut from any of my favorites. I was so excited, as I had prepared for big disappointment and many of the girls on my floor were not having as positive as an experience. On preference day, I discovered that I had been cut by one of my top three. I was upset, but still positive because I had my two favorites left. I went to my two favorites first, and was struggling to choose my first choice. By the time I went to the third house, a house that I generally liked but didn't compare to my favorites, I just wanted to breeze through the round so I could go preference. The night before bid day, as all the girls around me were rattled with nerves, I was excited and calm. I knew that even if I didn't get my first choice, I would SURELY get my second choice, and all would be right in the world. Everyone told me how lucky I was to be in that situation.

On bid day I was overcome by excitement. I searched the crowd for my top two chapters. I had them mapped out so whenever I opened my card, I knew exactly where to go. The countdown began and I opened my card.

It took a full 15 seconds to fully comprehend what was written on my bid day card. I had received my 3rd choice. I was in completely and utter shock, as I had not even begun to think of getting by my 3rd choice. I had done an awful job of preparing myself for this.

In that moment, I sucked it up and ran to my chapter. I hugged others and braved a happy face, but inside I was upset, confused, and angry. I understand one house not wanting me, but both? It seemed as though I was the only one not having the time of my life on bid day. I just kept telling myself that THESE were the girls who wanted me. But I couldn't help still feeling so bitter.

Time went by and the days of recruitment were over. I got involved in my chapter, tried to make friends, and embraced greek life. I did everything I was supposed to to soak up the experience.

Initiation came 6 weeks after recruitment. It came so fast that I felt like I hadn't gotten a chance to really evaluate my chapter. I was still deciding if I liked it or not. I went ahead and was initiated.

As December rolls around, and months have passed since recruitment and initiation, I still just have this feeling in my stomach when I see the letters of my top two chapters. I have made some friends here, and it just so happens that majority of the girls I genuinely click with are in my #2 preferenced chapter. NOT my own chapter.

I am filled with regret, because I feel as though I should have put #2 as #1. It's possible that I could've gotten into #2 if I had ranked them first. I honestly think about it every day and am just filled with bitterness for the system. My chapter does not feel like home to me. I don't feel as though I mesh well with the dynamics of it, and I do not enjoy it. I know that lookin into the past does no good, but it is hard to control my thoughts.

I have decided to transfer back closer to home because I feel so alone. The chapter I am in does not have a chapter where I'm transferring. I guess this means I will be a GDI for the rest of my college career, something I never thought would happen.

I guess the point of this post is just for advice. Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? I feel like the only person who hasn't found success in greek life. I honestly wish so badly that I could go back in time but who knows if I would still be in the same situation. I just can't help but feel bitter about greek life in general, now that I am in a chapter that I do not like. I wish things had worked out for me, but I know everything happens for a reason.