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My 2 cents:
1) You've got to find a way to get past any 'regret' or sadness about what might have been. This is an important life skill for everyone to learn, and different people master it in different ways, at different stages in life.
1A) If it helps you at all, most posters have chimed in to help clarify what happened to you. I'll add in from my experience as a recruitment advisor, this is what happened: both Chapter #1 and Chapter #2 really liked you. They wouldn't have invited you to Preference if they didn't really like you. The fact that you are not a member of those chapters now tells us all ONLY ONE THING: that there were other PNMs who they liked just a little bit more, and who were ranked a little higher on their bid lists. Sometimes the margin between who gets a bid and who doesn't is RAZOR THIN in terms of their internal scoring procedures. How these rankings work, much like life, is not perfect. Maybe a different conversation with a different sorority member on a different day could have changed your scores on their end - and your impression of their chapter - just enough to change the outcome. But this is life: it's filled with these millions of tiny "if only" moments.
Know that the the bid matching system tried its best to put you in your first choice chapter, and then tried its best to put you in your second choice chapter before placing you in your third choice chapter. Because of your outcome, we know that Chapter #1 and #2 each reached quota - or a full pledge class - before your name was reached on their respective bid lists. The outcome would have been the exact same if you had reversed your rankings for Chapters #1 and #2. This doesn't necessarily mean that you were really low on their lists and higher on Chapter #3's list: every chapter typically has a different length list and can fill their pledge class at almost any point on their list depending on how they're doing that year.
2) I would recommend that you take a little time to ask yourself what YOU can do to make your life happier at your school WITHOUT transferring or dropping your sorority yet. You're in a mopey, victim-y mind frame, and that's a terrible place to make permanent decisions.
If it's real friendship and connection with others that you feel you are missing out on, then spend more time nurturing your relationships with other people - hallmates, existing friends, classmates, whatever. Again, sometimes when you're in a crappy head space, you tend to be negative about the things that ARE in your life, and you might be downplaying how much you really like the people who are around you. I would encourage you to be a good friend and positive person despite that, and seek opportunities to spend time with others.
Don't underestimate exercise and good diet in contributing to positive mental health. Get involved in activities that you find worthwhile and fulfilling - clubs, a part-time job, studying, etc.
3) Take this opportunity to better understand what makes you tick. It's possible that there are valid reasons why your school is a bad fit for you, but you need to start taking an honest accounting of what it is you need in your life, and how you deal with certain situations. Is the school too big? Are there too many options? Are you feeling overwhelmed and having a hard time adjusting? Are you better in environments where you get to interact with lots of different/new people on a regular basis, or are you better in environments where you know most of the people around you? Are you significantly better in one of those scenarios, or pretty OK in either of them?
There are a lot of things that you're just learning about yourself right now, and it's not always a fun process. In fact, some people would argue that any act of growing and bettering yourself will have a component of discomfort involved.
Do your best to get out of your funk. Give yourself more time with your school and your sorority. Find activities that bring you satisfaction and fulfillment. Reassess your situation when you're in a better mindset.
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I heart Gamma Phi Beta
Last edited by LAblondeGPhi; 12-09-2014 at 12:17 PM.
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