received bid from my 3rd choice...need advice!

[secgirl5]

Hi everyone,

I recently rushed as a sophomore at an SEC school. I attended all three of my pref parties and fell in love with two houses but never felt a connection with one (we are not allowed to actually drop parties -- I listed this house last on my preference list every round). I listed it as my last choice and was devastated on Bid Day when I received a bid from this same house; in fact, I was so upset that I didn't arrive at the house and never returned my bid card -- I just went straight home and cried! Looking back I can't even believe I acted like that; At the time I was just extremely surprised and frustrated at how I could be "rejected" from two houses that I really liked.

A few months later, I am still constantly thinking about wanting to be a part of Greek life. As much as I would love to have the experience, I'm aware that I am binded to this house for one calendar year. I've been reading some GC threads that mentioned giving every house a chance, but I believe I would truly not have been happy in this one (and no, I did not feel like i was "above" any of the houses). There is also some other information that stopped me from wanting to be in this chapter, but I don't want to give away the school that I attend in the process.

I also came across one post that mentioned the possibility of bypassing this binding by formally "releasing" me. Is this true? I would really like the opportunity to do informal rush since my chances of getting a bid as a junior are slim to none. I would also like to know if me never having returned my bid card means that i depledged. I talked to my recruitment counselor on pref night regarding this same problem and she told me that in the event that this happened I could simply not show up at the house on Bid Day (which I did). However, I was so mad at having gone through the entire rush process that I felt ashamed at having to return my bid card. Although I haven't had any contact with any of the sisters since pref night, I would still like to know if they have me listed as an active. If I do re-rush for whatever reason, I want to know if I'm viewed as "damaged goods" because of this. Finally, I want to know if the conversation you have with a sister in a house on pref night alters your standing on the bid list (this is for my own sake!). I know that each house has their own membership selection policies so if this is part of it that's totally okay.


This has been bugging me since rush and I would really like some closure from it. I understand that not everyone may be able to answer everything, but I would really appreciate it if I could receive some advice -- if being a part of a sorority can no longer be an option, I definitely want to move on and be more involved in groups that I'm in on campus!