Some advice please?

ellabella27 · #1 04-17-2008, 10:04 AM

Ok, I really would like some advice about this subject. I am 21, returning to school, I have a child, I guess you wouldn't say I fall in the "single mom" category although sometimes I feel like that, lol, but I was thinking of rushing in the fall. I know this involves a lot of commitment and such and I realize that. I just want to know what general opinion about people who have children that join or think about joining. I just want to be involved and I'm willing to put forth the time and commitment. I definetely always will put my daughter first though.Any advice will be helpful though.
I'm sorry, let me clarify about my "non-traditional" comment, what I meant was I think that 21 is still very young, I'm not 29 or 30 going back to school. So in that sense I feel that plenty of people my age are in college right now.

33girl · #2 04-17-2008, 10:16 AM

No, you ARE a non-traditional student. A 21 year old freshman with a baby is non-traditional.

It all depends on the campus you attend, but at a school where the majority of women rushing are 18 year old freshmen, most likely you will not receive a bid.

It also depends on the type of sorority you want to join.

SoCalGirl · #3 04-17-2008, 12:29 PM

Your situation is not unique. Please read/search the boards.

33girl · #4 04-17-2008, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellabella27

I'm sorry, let me clarify about my "non-traditional" comment, what I meant was I think that 21 is still very young, I'm not 29 or 30 going back to school. So in that sense I feel that plenty of people my age are in college right now.

But at some schools, the number of 21 year olds rushing is slim to none. We're not talking about people in college, we're talking about who actually rushes.

PenguinTrax · #5 04-17-2008, 01:40 PM

It really depends on the campus and the Greek community. Generally speaking, if it was a choice between an 18-year old freshman and a 21 year old woman with a child, the freshman will rise to the top of the list.

As a mother of a small child, I can say quite honestly that if I was trying to balance motherhood, a college education and a job, joining a sorority would be the furthest thing from my mind.

amanda6035 · #6 04-17-2008, 03:15 PM

I think you should read this thread...

KSUViolet06 · #7 04-17-2008, 03:36 PM

It depends on the school and the sorority. Some schools have sorority chapters who would gladly take a woman with a kid, while there are others where this is unheard of.

My advice would be to really evaluate whether this is something you can commit to.

Generally speaking, sororities are looking for women who are going to participate fully in events while balancing other obligations. Sorority membership is very time consuming. I know when I was a new member, we sometimes had events to attend for 4 to 5 days out of a week. These were mandatory events. It was lot for me and I was living on campus and just going to school. Really think about whether you can feasibly participate in sorority events, which are inevitably going to take time away from your daughter.

Something else to think about: Some chapters also require women to live in the chapter house/dorm/suite. If your school's sororities have houses, this may affect whether you get a bid (since you won't be able to live in).

FlaGirl07 · #8 04-17-2008, 04:19 PM

I wouldn't base my reservations on just age alone. I am 21 and I rushed and got a bid this semester. It's not impossible! You may find balancing a sorority and motherhood to be the bigger challenge than just receiving a bid.

#9 04-17-2008, 05:44 PM

I know I'll get a lot of crap for saying this, but if a young mother came to our rushes, I'd be blunt and tell her to save her $$$ for diapers, milk, and daycare.

My collegiate sorority experience was great, but very time consuming. I wouldn't do it. You may not agree with what I say, but the sorority girls in the chapters you plan to rush this Fall may just feel the same way. Just being realistic here.

fantASTic · #10 04-17-2008, 05:47 PM

I suggest to you looking into community sororities - they will be better suited for someone in your situation, and you will have more in common with the sisters than you would with a bunch of collegians.

AOII_LB93 · #11 04-17-2008, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

I know I'll get a lot of crap for saying this, but if a young mother came to our rushes, I'd be blunt and tell her to save her $$$ for diapers, milk, and daycare.

My collegiate sorority experience was great, but very time consuming. I wouldn't do it. You may not agree with what I say, but the sorority girls in the chapters you plan to rush this Fall may just feel the same way. Just being realistic here.

I don't disagree with you at all Sandy.

Education is important, raising your child to become a good human is important. Joining a sorority = a significant time commitment. Maybe you should concentrate on the first two.

indygphib · #12 04-17-2008, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

I know I'll get a lot of crap for saying this, but if a young mother came to our rushes, I'd be blunt and tell her to save her $$$ for diapers, milk, and daycare.

My collegiate sorority experience was great, but very time consuming. I wouldn't do it. You may not agree with what I say, but the sorority girls in the chapters you plan to rush this Fall may just feel the same way. Just being realistic here.

I don't disagree with you one bit. Membership in any sorority is a substantial time committment, and I can't imagine being able to juggle a young child, school and a sorority. Priority #1 should be the child THEN school. Extracurricular activities are waaaaaaaaaay down the list.

texas*princess · #13 04-17-2008, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

I know I'll get a lot of crap for saying this, but if a young mother came to our rushes, I'd be blunt and tell her to save her $$$ for diapers, milk, and daycare.

My collegiate sorority experience was great, but very time consuming. I wouldn't do it. You may not agree with what I say, but the sorority girls in the chapters you plan to rush this Fall may just feel the same way. Just being realistic here.

agreed....

Besides the normal commitments of sorority membership like meetings, events and such, the OP needs to keep in mind that sometimes events will require her to be away from home for almost the entire day for several days at a time. Recruitment period comes to mind, and normally that is a dawn to dusk event for 4+ days in a row... not to mention the week prior to recruitment that some chapters use as time to decorate/plan/practice singing chants and whatnot.

I had a hard enough time getting two consecutive weeks off of my part-time job for recruitment.

I can't possibly think what I would do if I had a kid back then too.

Zillini · #14 04-23-2008, 09:46 AM

I'm going to take money out of this equation because for all we know money may not be an issue for the OP. The time committment a sorority requires, especially that 1st year, is what concerns me. The OP stated that she will always put her daughter first, which I commend and agree with wholeheartedly as a parent myself. I fear someone will suffer in the end. There are only so many hours in a day. Either the chapter will not benefit fully due to the OP's not being able to regularly attend functions due to other obligations, the child will miss Mom who is away doing sorority stuff, Mom's grades will suffer due to not having time to study, or all of the above.

Without knowing more specifics of the situation, not knowing the OP personally or the campus/sorority we are talking about, I'm not sure if a traditional NPC sorority is in anyone's best interest here. Being a good parent sometimes means making personal sacrifices.