Are we open to women with children?

[bejazd]

Let me try to take this topic in a more positive direction.

Are we sorority women really open to the idea that older students, some who may be parents, can be members and have a positive collegiate membership experience? I'm not too sure about that, except on non-traditional campuses. I don't think we're totally there yet.

My dad was in a fraternity at USC late 1950s and had many brothers who were Korean war vets who were married with children. My husband also had Fraternity brothers in mid80s who were vets and some that were just much older students. It didn't seem to be a big issue at all. But I couldn't picture a woman of any age married or with kids in a sorority during my collegiate years. is it really any different today?

any thoughts??? (please no veering off on parenting issues.)

[1908Revelations]

I do not see anything wrong with woman who have children belonging to sororities. I think about it is terms of there are active, productive members of graduate/alumnae chapters who have children. A new Soror just transferred into my chapter who has two children, a job, is a full time student and is active with the Sorority.

I am sure some others may dis agree, but there are people without children who a slackers so people who have kids, jobs, full time student can do it (be active) everyone else can too.

[UWO_2007]

I honestly feel it is a demographic thing. I don't think I would be doing this if I still lived in the South. The whole sorority thing is just way to cut throat. I opted to wait until I could have more free time when my son was older. It does seem to be more accepted with fraternity brothers vs. sorority though. If the group is willing, and the PNM can balance home, school, and sorority life... AND she fits in, to me it isn't a big deal. Now I would have a problem with someone that joined, but was never around because of family life... yes that is a priority, but if you don't have time, then you don't have time.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

I do not see anything wrong with woman who have children belonging to sororities. I think about it is terms of there are active, productive members of graduate/alumnae chapters who have children. A new Soror just transferred into my chapter who has two children, a job, is a full time student and is active with the Sorority.

I am sure some others may dis agree, but there are people without children who a slackers so people who have kids, jobs, full time student can do it (be active) everyone else can too.

I think bejazd is talking about membership in undergrad/collegiate chapters.

I don't think this will ever be widely accepted on any campus with large houses to fill - where part of your sorority experience is living in the house. You're not going to want to take that woman with a husband/child because when it's her turn to fill that spot in the house, she'll have an "out." Especially if there are 50 other women you could bid in her place. I'm betting that for the guys, it's the same way.

[LatinaAlumna]

My organization allows women with children, but it's still rare to have such a woman pursue membership (I've never seen it, but I've heard of some cases). As long as the woman can meet the expectations and requirements of membership, I think it's fine.

[DSTCHAOS]

Yes, generally speaking.

That doesn't mean that every woman with a child is suitable for membership or will become a member, based on official criteria and other criteria.

A large percentage, if not most, NPHC sorority undergraduate chapters have older women or younger women with a child (married or not) in its ranks somewhere throughout the years.

[AlphaFrog]

Coming from a smaller, uncompetitive campus, I wouldn't have had a problem with bidding a woman with a child, but I also wouldn't have had a problem with terminating her membership should it become a conflict.

[AU_ZTA86]

Canned answer but it depends on the chapter/campus. I think it would be more accepted at in a comuter environment as opposed to a more 'traditional' residential university. And, like it or not, I think it is different for sororities than fraternities.

[UWO_2007]

we have about 36 in my chapter, and only 8 I think can live in the house.. now I am at a small campus, not cut throat like the south... I did my research to see where I thought I'd fit the best... and it worked out in my favor. I'm a 29 year old single mom, going to school full time, working full time, and involved. I'm just one of those people that function better busy... lol....

[MellySK]

I would have not been opposed if the particular woman could handle the sorority committments, so ultimately, it would be up to her and her ability to know what she can and can't do.

When I was an active we had an "honorary" sister - she was one of the sister's best friends, at the house all the time and attended many events. But she had a small child and felt that she couldn't balance parenting and being an active, even though all of us would have loved to have her in the group.

So, basically, i think it's a personal choice for the woman in question. However, after reading the thread about bringing young children to social events and meetings, i do NOT find that acceptable

[KSUViolet06]

I wish I could find it, but about 2 years ago, The Triangle did an article about this subject. One of the main points was that the population of US colleges and univiersities is changing Schools are seeing more of the non-traditional students who may be a little older, have taken time off after HS, or even be married or have kids.

I don't think the point of the article was to tell us to bid EVERY 30 year old that walks through our door, but to jhelp collegians recognize that those women can be valuable members of the sorority just as much as any 18 year old traditional student can.

I think it does really depend on the campus climate. We've never had a woman with a kid come through recruitment, so there's no precedent for it. We have, however had married/engaged women come through (granted they were still traditonal student aged) and get bids.

As far as a woman with kids goes, I think my school is non-traditional, but not quite THAT non traditional. I think chapters would be hesitant to bid her because you don't know how capable she is of handling a sorority and a child. I think AlphaFrog summed up my personal opinion perfectly:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Coming from a smaller, uncompetitive campus, I wouldn't have had a problem with bidding a woman with a child, but I also wouldn't have had a problem with terminating her membership should it become a conflict.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

but I also wouldn't have had a problem with terminating her membership should it become a conflict.

That's possible in your organization? Is that possible in most NPC sororities?

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think bejazd is talking about membership in undergrad/collegiate chapters.

I don't think this will ever be widely accepted on any campus with large houses to fill - where part of your sorority experience is living in the house. You're not going to want to take that woman with a husband/child because when it's her turn to fill that spot in the house, she'll have an "out." Especially if there are 50 other women you could bid in her place. I'm betting that for the guys, it's the same way.

I am an undergraduate. I think I should have phrased my response a little better.

Of course during selection proscesses one would not likely think "Ohhh yeah she has a child....we want her over everyone else", but if she exceeds the requirements versus a childless prospective member who is barely making it......I think the decision is kinda easy. I mentioned the newest addition to my chapter because she has came in and done a lot in addition to her having two kids, a job, and being a full-time student. Seeing how great she is; it would have been a shame if she had got overlooked for membership due to the fact of having children.

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

That's possible in your organization? Is that possible in most NPC sororities?

In the case of the OP in the now-closed thread that prompted this discussion, the OP was still a new member.

I mentioned that the active sisters didn't have to initiate her if they felt that her children would pose a conflict. I can't imagine terminating a membership based on those reasons after she's been initiated.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

That's possible in your organization? Is that possible in most NPC sororities?

Uh.......Technically speaking any woman can terminate her membership. She just stops showing up.