Advice for Fall Rush?

[tapuz]

So I did spring (formal) rush, a few months ago, and got all the way to the end of the process, except on the very last night my top choice cut me, and distraught and confused I decided that I wasn't ready to make such a huge decision when my mind wasn't set on any other option, and that I'd rush again in the fall.

At my school (which is not very big on Greek life), fall rush is for sophomores and up only. Freshman can only rush in the spring. This fall, I'll be a sophomore, and I was told that fall rush is a lot better in that you can attend any or all of the events of which ever sorority you want, unlike during spring formal rush.

All background info aside, is there anything I should do to prepare myself for fall rush/can anyone give me any tips??? thanks a bunch

[PackPride]

Still keep an open mind. Just because you can pick and choose which parties you want to go to doesn't mean you should just go to your favorites. Go to at least on party in each house. Then you can get a feel of where you fit. Your Spring favorite might not be your Fall favorite. Go to as many parties as you can and just have fun. Informal is way better than formal in my opinion.

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by tapuz

So I did spring (formal) rush, a few months ago, and got all the way to the end of the process, except on the very last night my top choice cut me, and distraught and confused I decided that I wasn't ready to make such a huge decision when my mind wasn't set on any other option, and that I'd rush again in the fall.

At my school (which is not very big on Greek life), fall rush is for sophomores and up only. Freshman can only rush in the spring. This fall, I'll be a sophomore, and I was told that fall rush is a lot better in that you can attend any or all of the events of which ever sorority you want, unlike during spring formal rush.

All background info aside, is there anything I should do to prepare myself for fall rush/can anyone give me any tips??? thanks a bunch

Originally Posted by tapuz

I'm a second semester freshman, and our formal spring recruitment just ended. I was completely confident and extremely happy with how everything was going for me (and honestly surprised because I never considered myself sorority material), until last night, which was pref night. My absolute top choice, which had invited me back the last two nights, dropped me. I was devastated. Even though I was invited to the pref nights of my 2nd and 3rd choice, all I could think about was how my top choice, the sorority i thought I fit into perfectly, had dropped me.

My Rho Gamma told me to go to the events I'd been invited to with an open mind and try my best to see if I could fit in with these girls.
I tried, i really really did. But as all the other girls were crying about the instant connections they made with their sisters, about how much they loved their sorority, I tried to picture these girls as people I could call my sisters, but all I could think about was that other sorority had become so close to my heart.

After pref night had ended, I decided that maybe it'd be best for me to drop out, and give my likely bid to someone that wanted it more than me. I just knew that had I accepted a bid from my 2nd or 3rd choice, that I wouldn't be as happy, and that I'd have the constant thought of "what if?" I didn't want to join a sorority and grow to like the people; I wanted to join a sorority loving the people.

After much comforting by the lovely rho gammas, I was told to rush again in the fall. At my school, freshmen are not allowed to rush in the fall and rush then is informal. Although fewer people are taken in, I feel as though I might have a chance the second time around. What do you guys recommend I do until then in order to potentially increase my chances of getting a bid in the fall?

Originally Posted by tapuz

Thanks for all your comments. I guess I just felt really strongly about one of the sororities that really ended up appealing to me. I had done my research about various sororities in advance, and had had that one in mind, but agreed to keep an open mind to all of the sororities when I met them.

Even with that open mind, the one sorority that I had read about earlier really made me feel comfortable like none of the others. Maybe I am a little biased, I don't know, but all I know is that after every party with them, I'd come out smiling without realizing it, and think about how great the girls in that sorority were for the rest of the day. That must mean something?

I guess I just thought at compared to the other sororities, that one in specific had the most girls that i felt were like me, humour wise, interest wise, etc.

I'm still keeping my options open for next year and I'm not going go specifically for only this sorority again as I've decided, because that's irrational, but I definitely don't think that trying again will hurt. All of the sisters I've talked to from there even after bidding have been so nice to me and seem to genuinely like me, so it wouldn't hurt to try again?

Originally Posted by tapuz

So all of the rho gammas told me to rush again in the fall, as thats how many of their sisters got into sororities they didn't get into in the spring. Although rush is fairly competitive at my school, Greeks are only 5% of it and it's not taken as seriously as it is in other universities. I messaged the sorority presidents thanking them for the honor of being invited to their pref night and that I just wasn't ready to make a commitment so quickly. They all encouraged me to come out again in the fall, you can't say that means nothing.

In terms of trying again with my top choice, I understand that the chances aren't very high, but as fewer people rush in the fall, and the fact that I've already started getting in touch with a couple of the sisters I really connected with at rush, I'm going to do my best to genuinely get to know people in the chapter, as well as in the other chapters.

I will never take the pref invites I receive for granted, and will definitely be much more open minded next fall at rush.

Honestly, I'm glad I dropped out, because if I had not and had impulsively taken a bid in my despair, I probably wouldn't have been as happy. After reading all of your posts, I'm realizing that maybe where I thought I'd fit in isn't where I DID fit in, and that I should have given the other chapters another chance. So that's exactly what I'll do in the fall. Keep in touch with as many girls as possible, and i think that in itself will make me excited about joining any of the sororities!

Originally Posted by tapuz

I was invited to their pref nights, that should mean something? I don't know if I would have received a bid because I dropped out but I think I could have.

I guess it's the second one, I was probably a little too sure of myself, and I'm beginning to realize that now.

Originally Posted by tapuz

My Rho started tearing up as I was talking to her about my disappointment...and she even texted me about it the next morning.

Originally Posted by tapuz

I posted a few days ago, asking a question about rushing twice, if you haven't read that post, please don’t, because I wrote it just when rush had ended and I was in a whirlwind of emotions and not able to think logically.

Since then, I’ve come to my senses a bit more, but first, let me tell you all what happened. I decided to rush spring semester of my freshman year, basically with the intention of meeting a new group of people, joining a community, and making lifelong friends. I did not realized how emotionally invested you become in the whole process though.

By the end, I definitely had a top choice, and 2nd choice, and a 3rd choice. I was convinced that my number 1 choice was the perfect fit for me, and when they dropped me on pref night, I panicked and dropped out of rush completely, which my Rho Gamma recommended I do. (Although I did get invited to my 2nd and 3rd choices pref nights). Maybe it was my stubbornness, bias, and disappointment, but as hard as I tried I wasn’t able to feel a “connection” to either of those sororities that night, as I had with my top choice at previous events.

Basically, the advice I was given/what I’ve decided to do is to come back in the fall, when rush is informal, and when incoming freshman aren’t even allowed to rush. I was told to attend all of their rush events, and the sisters would already know me from when I had rushed previously. It is not abnormal for sophomores to rush at my school, nor is it abnormal to rush twice.
I also decided that it would be a good idea to come out to as many of the sororities’ events this semester as possible, and overall try to genuinely befriend some of the sisters.

Nevertheless, I do understand that this does not guarantee that I will get a bid, it is simply one of the only things I can proactively do to potentially increase my chances.

On top of that, I thanked the sororities that invited me to their pref nights, basically telling them that since what happened during pref night was so unexpected to me, I was simply not ready to make such an important decision so quickly, and that I’d come out again in the fall. Although I thought they replied to my messages very kindly just to be polite, the girls in those two sororities stopped giving me confused/angry looks on campus, and began smiling at me and approaching me after I sent out the message.

After reading the thread about going with your second choice, I’ve decided that I’d be more open the second time around. I wish I had seen the thread before pref night, but even so I’m glad I did. There are only 5 sororities on my campus, and i thought that if I didn’t click with a sorority immediately that they weren’t for me, I didn’t realize that like with anything, things like that usually take time. Also that where you THINK you belong might not be where you DO belong. So, since I’ve met some great girls in all 3 of my choices, I’ve decided to stay in touch with and try to get to know them all, and hopefully through that have a better, and more informed opinion of where I could fit in come next fall.

What are your guys’ thoughts on this? Have any of you/anyone you know been through an experience similar to this?

Originally Posted by tapuz

Thanks for all the comments! But none of the sororities require recs, nor do we have anywhere to submit them, etc. But what do you guys think of the whole me getting more involved and getting to know the sisters (or at least have them get to know me by name and like me as a person), in terms of increasing my chances in the fall?

Originally Posted by tapuz

That's basically what it's like at my school, many of the sisters I met during recruitment said that they didn't come to college expecting to join a sorority.

Also, my parents moved to the US from a different country, so none of their friends that live here have been part of Greek life. While it is possible maybe some of my neighbors/teachers may have been, I live in the North east..so I don't think it's as common as it may be to know alumnae in southern states with more of a Greek influence.

This is the third time in the last couple of months you've asked the same question in a different way and people have been nice enough to take the time to answer you. Do you think you're going to get a different answer? I don't understand why you keep doing this.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by tapuz

All background info aside, is there anything I should do to prepare myself for fall rush/can anyone give me any tips??? thanks a bunch

Yes.

Use the search function here and on google. Read extensively in the recruitment forum. Your questions have been previously asked and answered by many others.

Ditto to Old_Row, BTW.

[adpiucf]

Here's my advice. This is your "last" chance, so be open to membership in all of the sororities, see it through to the very end, and accept the bid you are offered. Then make a huge effort to get to know everyone, be happy with the bid you have been given, get involved in the leadership, recruit quality women like yourself, and be an asset to the organization. Expect that whether you get your top choice or your last choice, there will be plenty of times you love it and plenty of times you hate it and wonder if you should have joined another group. Sisterhood isn't instant BFF-dom. A "sister" is a name for a member in a sorority. There will be opportunities to bond. Friendships and a sense of "sisterhood" will develop between you and some of the members, but not all. Some you will get along with better than others. The key is to respect one another and your organization, and to learn how to work together.

If you can't get along with a group of 20+ women, then you have bigger problems than being dropped by a "top choice" (which really, was about 10 women out of goodness knows how many in a chapter, who you clicked with, but who were showing you their best face and telling you what you wanted to hear so you would love them).

If you're not willing to do these things, save yourself the time and effort and pick another activity.

TL; DR: Be yourself during recruitment, accept a bid if offered, and give 100% and bring a positive attitude. That's your advice.