Revealing a crush

Senusret I · #1 12-05-2009, 04:27 PM

Is there ever any good reason to reveal a crush that you have on someone who has not expressed an interest in you?

You can make the following assumptions:

1) That the person you crush on is of the sexual orientation you'd need them to be for it to work (lol)

2) You do not really hang out with this person, but you see them from time to time due to some common interests.

What might be the point in revealing a crush? Would just asking them out be better?

Gusteau · #2 12-05-2009, 04:36 PM

Personally, I feel like revealing a crush is like halfway asking someone out, except you wimp out and put the ball in their court. I prefer to just ask someone out because either way you make your feelings known, but if you come out and ask you're in control of the situation.

ree-Xi · #3 12-05-2009, 05:22 PM

It's been eons since this scenario would apply to me, but I used to rely on dropping social cues, such as a glance-one-second-too-long, or mirroring body language, etc., to gauge interest. Just enough for the person to wonder, "is she interested?", but not long enough to be sure. That gave the other person a chance to pick up on it and make the first move, or to shrug it off and forget it.

Looking back, I am not sure how successfully subtle I was, but as a woman, I felt more comfortable in providing opportunities for the other person to take initiative.

33girl · #4 12-05-2009, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Looking back, I am not sure how successfully subtle I was, but as a woman, I felt more comfortable in providing opportunities for the other person to take initiative.

Amen. And came to the conclusion that if they didn't, they didn't have the balls to deal with me and it would have crash and burned anyway.

And Gusteau is definitely right in saying that just telling someone you like them is wimping out. That person may just say "what the hell" and anything from go out to sleep with you anyway - as a smart friend of mine said, they have nothing to lose and everything to gain, even if they can't stand you. They know you like them and you will take their actions as reciprocating the affection, even if it's just about feeding your ego or getting laid.

dreamseeker · #5 12-05-2009, 09:45 PM

i'm a straightforward type of gal so i let my feelings be known. i'm impatient and i hate waiting and wondering if the person likes me. so i say what's on my mind. to me, rejection is better than agonizing and wondering. *shrug*

back when i was single (lol) i never thought about the difference between revealing a crush and asking someone out. i guess you could say i revealed a crush and if the person was interested we'd take it from there. with my current bf i just told him i was interested in him because he had what i was looking for.

I.A.S.K. · #6 12-05-2009, 11:32 PM

If the guy is not giving me any signals that he's in to me then revealing the crush would only be because I felt like telling him. If he seems like he could be interested and is just not saying/doing anything about it then I'd reveal because:
I want him to know that Im feeling him so that we can both get an understanding. I'm not one of those people who gets mad or upset if the feeling isnt returned, but I like to know for sure.
I'd reveal a crush because there isn't a reason not to. I'm not embarrassed by it (and I doubt I'd crush that hard on a guy who'd embarrass me about it) and nothing bad can come of it as we're not around each other all of the time.

It really depends on the situation as to whether or not its better to ask the person out or just let them know that youre digging them. I usually do both. First I let him know I'm feeling him and then a little while later I'll ask him out. That way he's had some time to think about it (if he hasn't thought of me that way before) and can make a clear decision.

I've found that with men subtle doesn't work. Men tend to be simple and stupid so if you like him tell him. Whatever you want and however you feel let him know if you want him to act/respond.
"A closed mouth won't get fed."

dreamseeker · #7 12-05-2009, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

"A closed mouth won't get fed."

we are >here< with that quote. that was my logic in these situations.

AGDee · #8 12-06-2009, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

It's been eons since this scenario would apply to me, but I used to rely on dropping social cues, such as a glance-one-second-too-long, or mirroring body language, etc., to gauge interest. Just enough for the person to wonder, "is she interested?", but not long enough to be sure. That gave the other person a chance to pick up on it and make the first move, or to shrug it off and forget it.

Looking back, I am not sure how successfully subtle I was, but as a woman, I felt more comfortable in providing opportunities for the other person to take initiative.

THIS.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Amen. And came to the conclusion that if they didn't, they didn't have the balls to deal with me and it would have crash and burned anyway.

And Gusteau is definitely right in saying that just telling someone you like them is wimping out. That person may just say "what the hell" and anything from go out to sleep with you anyway - as a smart friend of mine said, they have nothing to lose and everything to gain, even if they can't stand you. They know you like them and you will take their actions as reciprocating the affection, even if it's just about feeding your ego or getting laid.

And THIS.

I.A.S.K. · #9 12-06-2009, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamseeker

we are >here< with that quote. that was my logic in these situations.

We're probably related and just don't know it yet! lol. You're gonna have to be the cousin I only claim in the off season b/c that Giants mess is just out of order! lol.

I still dont understand how women can feel any type of way about a guy and tell damn near everyone but him! Crazy. lol.

dreamseeker · #10 12-06-2009, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

We're probably related and just don't know it yet! lol. You're gonna have to be the cousin I only claim in the off season b/c that Giants mess is just out of order! lol.

I still dont understand how women can feel any type of way about a guy and tell damn near everyone but him! Crazy. lol.

lol! whatever "partiot!"

but again i agree with the bolded.

christiangirl · #11 12-08-2009, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamseeker

i'm a straightforward type of gal so i let my feelings be known. i'm impatient and i hate waiting and wondering if the person likes me. so i say what's on my mind. to me, rejection is better than agonizing and wondering. *shrug*

THIS.

With one guy, I was so sick of agonizing over it, wondering if he really liked me or if I was just hopeful and seeing clues that weren't really there. It was easier just to tell him and see where he was. We were texting one day, just talking about nothing I just blurted it out. That put the ball in his court so he could clarify.