Lame?

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

I'm not trying to be rude when I say this but, If it bothers you that much then simply don't post in this thread anymore.

I think this is what people mean when they call you defensive. I wasn't even replying to you, but you replied in btwn the time that I read the last post and posted my response. Relax.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Not really because I didn't know what people would say. I only formed opinions after reading people's responses. I mean I know how I feel about these things in general, however I just wanted to understand where people with an alternate opinion where coming from. Also, to see how many people (females specificly) shared the same views as me. I'm beginning to realize exactly how much of a minority I am.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Originally Posted by Marie

I think this is what people mean when they call you defensive. I wasn't even replying to you, but you replied in btwn the time that I read the last post and posted my response. Relax.

I'm relaxed it was just miscommunication via using the web. It wasn't wrong of me to assume that you were talking to me since your post was directly under mine. I just reacted to what I saw.

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

To have these as long term standards for a long term relationship...would you consider not dating someone because they don't drink and are waiting to have sex superficial? If not, why?

Also, people have already said that they feel that someone waiting to have sex may be doing it for religious reasons or may be inexperienced, which does not appeal to them. It has also been said that some people have found non-drinkers to be preachy (like coming on a MB and asking a question that they already know the answer to just so that they can argue their side) or they might not fit in with their social requirements (professional/cultural/etc). Are there other reasons that you are looking for? I mean we can play this game with anything...why don't u like dating tall women/short women/fat women/ women with 1 leg/women with 6 toes/women with bad weaves/ women who look and dress like tomboys? Explain why you're not superficial for having your preferences? Essentially this is where you seem to be taking this thread. Everyone is not right for everyone (no matter the reason). Period.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

Not really because I didn't know what people would say. I only formed opinions after reading people's responses. I mean I know how I feel about these things in general, however I just wanted to understand where people with an alternate opinion where coming from. Also, to see how many people (females specificly) shared the same views as me. I'm beginning to realize exactly how much of a minority I am.

Two things: First, I'm not sure how old you are but that may be part of why you and I have differing views on these issues. I believe you might have mentioned that you are 21. At 21 I probably would have wanted a guy with your level of experience b/c I had only experienced dating one guy long term. But I have almost 6 years on you now, so asking if I'd want to date the same guy I would have dated at 21...absolutely not. So in that sense, you aren't necessarily a minority, you just may have received replies from women older than you.

Second, I think you did anticipate our responses because you seemed to have heard some of them before...which is why you asked the question, right?

[Marie]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

Not really because I didn't know what people would say.

You could only get 1 of 2 responses. Honestly, I think your original question could have been answered with a yes or a no (I'll go back and check), sooo...what was new information to you?


ETA: I was correct. "Ladies: Would you honestly consider a young man who doesn't drink, is drug-free and a virgin lame?"

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Originally Posted by Marie

Also, people have already said that they feel that someone waiting to have sex may be doing it for religious reasons or may be inexperienced, which does not appeal to them. It has also been said that some people have found non-drinkers to be preachy (like coming on a MB and asking a question that they already know the answer to just so that they can argue their side) or they might not fit in with their social requirements (professional/cultural/etc). Are there other reasons that you are looking for? I mean we can play this game with anything...why don't u like dating tall women/short women/fat women/ women with 1 leg/women with 6 toes/women with bad weaves/ women who look and dress like tomboys? Explain why you're not superficial for having your preferences? Essentially this is where you seem to be taking this thread. Everyone is not right for everyone (no matter the reason). Period.

Excellent point. I can't really debate that other than by saying a lot of the things that you listed are physical features that can rarely be done anything about. This differs because I'm talking about positive choices a person has decided to make. That's like someone saying..."I'm going to stop cursing" and another person being turned off because they curse and believe that they are now incompatible. That doesn't make since to me. We are all different and there for do different things. For example, I may not drink, but I would date a girl that drinks socially because I respect the fact that we are different however, I would tell her occasionally out of compassion that I don't like it because the overall negative affects it can have on her and its just a really unattractive look for her when she does it. Sure I would be happy if she found the rational to stop but if she didn't the only thing that I would do is pray that it doesn't affect her too bad in the future.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Marie

Drolefille,

Please let it go. Pretty please. I do understand your point. However, when you keep emphasizing or arguing it, then it negates your 'I'm not defensive' or 'I'm not taking it personally' stance.

UM, yeah so read the entire thread before you post at me please, mkay?

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Originally Posted by OtterXO

Two things: First, I'm not sure how old you are but that may be part of why you and I have differing views on these issues. I believe you might have mentioned that you are 21. At 21 I probably would have wanted a guy with your level of experience b/c I had only experienced dating one guy long term. But I have almost 6 years on you now, so asking if I'd want to date the same guy I would have dated at 21...absolutely not. So in that sense, you aren't necessarily a minority, you just may have received replies from women older than you.

Second, I think you did anticipate our responses because you seemed to have heard some of them before...which is why you asked the question, right?

I can understand the first half of that clearly. Yes I have but i'm ususally the type of person that keeps this type of stuff to myself because I don't want to offend people that I know with my views. So I really never ask them...the deep "Why?" questions that I am now.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

Originally Posted by Marie

You could only get 1 of 2 responses. Honestly, I think your original question could have been answered with a yes or a no (I'll go back and check), sooo...what was new information to you?


ETA: I was correct. "Ladies: Would you honestly consider a young man who doesn't drink, is drug-free and a virgin lame?"

Check out my response to OtterXO

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

Not really because I didn't know what people would say. I only formed opinions after reading people's responses. I mean I know how I feel about these things in general, however I just wanted to understand where people with an alternate opinion where coming from. Also, to see how many people (females specificly) shared the same views as me. I'm beginning to realize exactly how much of a minority I am.

Well . . . let's start with the end, so to speak - you're probably less of a 'minority' than you'd think by reading this thread, for myriad reasons but mostly because the population who will answer you self-selects a large number of people who, in fact, have sex. I'd bet you can come up with two of these reasons right off the top of your head, but I have about 5 right now.

Basically, a large part of the group you're asking, by necessity, is the "wrong crowd" to fill in this gap for you (although obviously they can still answer the question).

Second, I think you're taking this a little too harshly - the one simple rule for relationships (for most sane people) is that the rules are few and flexible. By this, I mean that I would generally prefer to date someone with attribute __________, but in the right situation I'll gladly break that rule (or, more likely, for the right person).

You pride yourself on being unique, so maybe you should look forward to being able to create unique situations where you can break out of these preferences - and the way to do this really isn't through explaining your actions in increasingly direct fashion to anonymous people who are speaking in broad generalities, but instead through understanding these generalities and using them as a guide for your actions.

-RC
--Hence Drollefille is kind of wrong, sorry ace!

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

But, I don't want to break out of my preferance...they go hand in hand with my beliefs plus as I stated above I don't totally let them dictate who i chose to date.

[Dionysus]

Son, do you have a pic? What's your name and number?




I'm joking, lol.

[AKΨ_BRO@DSU]

LOL

[afboiler]

Originally Posted by AKΨ_BRO@DSU

How is it possible to be too clean cut? And just because someone doesn't drink doesn't mean that they don't know how to have a good time...in fact, the fact they don't need anything extra to do so would say a lot. What are the "social responsibilities" of your job?

After work on Friday most of us go out to the club for a few drinks. It is a fun time to socialize, meet the new arrivals, and network to get a little work done.......Being able to adapt to that situation is very important for me. you DO NOT need to drink but you need to okay with people drinking around you. I have been to two relationships that failed and one of the reasons for both of them was how they handled the social situation....one would not drink, felt out of place and would not talk to anyone....my coworkers took that as he was depressed sad or did not like them.....the other one got too drunk and would embarrass himself and me....To me it is all about balance.

The virgin thing would not bother me as long as I was okay with the physical relationship going that far....

Drugs are a non issue...I don't do them and my friends do either