dropping membership

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Why would she be forced to drop out of Active Chapter?

Some NPC sororities (not mine) require that women who either get pregnant or married as undergrads take alumna status. This topic has been talked about alot on GC actually.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Some NPC sororities (not mine) require that women who either get pregnant or married as undergrads take alumna status. This topic has been talked about alot on GC actually.

If a member marries or becomes pregnant while still a collegian, she has the option of taking alumna status. We've never required a member to go alum, which usually becomes the case, though.

Which NPCs have that requirement, do you know?

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by OTW

If a member marries or becomes pregnant while still a collegian, she has the option of taking alumna status. We've never required a member to go alum, which usually becomes the case, though.

Which NPCs have that requirement, do you know?

I think many did, about 20-30 years ago. I know of one ADPi alumna who has told me about a closed door session involving a pinned junior and the advisors with lots of tears. The junior moved out in the middle of the night, and there was the rumor that she was pregnant.

My own pledge book didn't allow married PNMs or secret marriages, but it's okay now (the married PNMs, I don't know about the secret marriages).

[UGAalum94]

removed by Alphagamuga because it served no good purpose

[tunatartare]

Originally Posted by honeychile

My own pledge book didn't allow married PNMs or secret marriages, but it's okay now (the married PNMs, I don't know about the secret marriages).

What's a secret marriage?

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga

Are unmarried pregnant women allowed to stay active?

Back in the day, either marriage or prenancy meant taking alum status, but OTW's post suggest that it's optional in both circumstances now.

When I served on EC we had several members get married while still in school and they were always given the option to remain a member, or take alum status because it was automatically granted. All of them decided to take alum status.

In the case of an unmarried pregnant woman, however, if we were faced with a situation like that, I don't think she could handle remaining a collegian, as chapter duties obviously become less of a priority.

[ProPhetic1]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Would you still wear the items if you deactivated?

If yes: Then WTH did you deactivate? If you still want to be a member (and it was your decision to deactivate), be a member or loose the privilidges. If you were forced to deactivate, then your National has expressed that they belive you are not worthy to wear the letters.

If no: Then WTH keep the stuff if you're not going to wear it? (And no, selling it on eBay is not a good answer either).

The only time I wear paraphernalia is @ Group Pojects or meetings. But to answer your question if I denounced my membership I would not continue to wear my orgs stuff. My point was that if a member drops/denounces we want all the main stuff back, membership manuals, ritual manuals, Id cards, etc. We are not going to chase someone down about what they purchased with their own money. Now if we see them with the stuff on we will request it. But i am not gonna show up on your doorstepp and say hand me back everything you purchased.

[Drolefille]

Usually in finalizing a member withdrawing from the chapter there are papers signed, etc. The chapter will ask that the person bring anything with her letters on it with her to will to the chapter/littles etc.

They can't always hunt them down, and they might not want to if they're concerned about a disgruntled ex-member spreading ritual, but they request them.

[AlphaFrog]

The way I see it, if you buy things for yourself with your GLO's letters, and you have any inkling that you may ever deactivate, get terminated, etc, you know you're running the risk of dumping your $$ down the drain.

And those who deactivate for finacial reasons - one letter sweatshirt was approximately equal to 10% (or more) of my semester's dues, unless you get a piece of junk...and that's just sweatshirts. They make all kinds of overpriced crap with letters on it. So to me, if you've spent all kinds of $$ on stuff with letters on it, and then can't pay your dues, I don't feel sorry if you get your stuff taken away. (With exception of those who have something tragic happen and can suddenly not afford dues).

[SororChic6]

we have girls who have children and/or are married- we take this as a blessing and alot of them remain active (they do not have to become alumna). also, if a pledge drops, we immediately take back her pin and such. if a sister drops her letters, we take those back from her too.

[LOVEinZTA]

So I know this is an old thred but we actually discussed this in a meeting about a week ago. About 2 years ago, it apparently became a 'trend' of sorts for girl late in the sophomore or in their junior years to drop (there were around 7 or 8 girls one right after the other) - they figured "hey I've made friends with all of these girls and all of the mixers have helped me meet everyone I need, so why should I continue and pay $1300 in dues each semester?" They simply stopped coming to meetings, stopped paying dues, stopped answering phone calls from the treasurer, etc. They've kept all of their friends AND all of the paraphenalia. You can see on their online profiles it says "I used to be a member" and "Miss you girls!" as if they don't still speak, which is not the case. We decided at this meeting, to enforce the long-standing policy and we plan on getting ahold of the girls and taking back any pins, letters, and other special items. These girls essentially went through the pledging and initiation process, took a little their soph. year, made friends, and then figured they were done and didn't follow through. We also have girls who transfer in, go through the affiliation process, are voted in, and then don't pay dues or some to meetings. Both still wear t-shirts and have 'hints' of the chapter around (see online profiles and t-shirt comments) even though they are no longer members. It is not fair for the girls who have true dedication and passion to have girls doing this sort of thing, and personally it just drives me up a wall.

If someone has a LEGITIMATE reason for leaving, that is a different story.

And on the pin topic, you essentially RENT the pin. You pay rent for you apartment, and when you stop, you no longer get to live there. Same concept - you drop, the pin isn't yours anymore.

/rant

[AGDLynn]

The way people love to post, I'm surprised that at least 1 member didn't post on the "non-member's" page something about.."gee...I can't remembr seeing you at our chapter meeting or event...or "you need one of those "I only went to the XX to get this shirt".

Originally Posted by lilsunshine214

What I don't get is when a member disaffiliates and still leaves Facebook/MySpace messages like, "Miss you, Big!" like they're studying abroad or something. You quit, she's not your Big anymore. You guys are still friends, that's great. Once again, she's NOT your Big anymore. That was one of the priveledges you gave up when you signed on the dotted line and gave up all of your stuff.

I have to disagree.

I had a sister-daughter who depledged. Years later, she still calls me mom because even though she no longer wanted to be a part of the sorority, I still took her under my wing and continued that friendship. She chose to quit for her own reasons, but there's no reason for me to tell her "you CANNOT call me mom anymore because you chose to quit."

If the disaffiliated member still calls em "Big"...just let em. They are friends, after all. It might be the best and only thing she'll take away from her sorority experience.

[Sock Puppet2]

Originally Posted by lilsunshine214

What I don't get is when a member disaffiliates and still leaves Facebook/MySpace messages like, "Miss you, Big!" like they're studying abroad or something. You quit, she's not your Big anymore. You guys are still friends, that's great. Once again, she's NOT your Big anymore. That was one of the priveledges you gave up when you signed on the dotted line and gave up all of your stuff.

I agree. A person who disaffiliates with their org and continues in the vein that you describe is definitely a "perp".

Originally Posted by lilsunshine214

I understand the close relationship. I've seen some girls take it pretty far like saying things like, "Can't wait to meet the new additions to the family!" Once again, I do understand that the particular relationship you have with your Big is special, but you start crossing lines when you say things like that. You confuse people, especially when you're going around telling everyone else, "I quit because all of the girls I liked quit or graduated." If you didn't like the people in the group, why are you still talking to them like you're a member?! Maybe it's just me but if I don't like you, I don't talk to you. It's that simple.

Why all the unnecessary drama?

I could give two shits about what others may think or if they get confused.