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Confused, I have been thinking about your COB some more. There seems to be a factor that is contributing to the indecisiveness. Please do NOT say on a public message board whether any of these are the case, but if they are, take them into consideration:
1. A particular house (perhaps a legacy house or other one that you do know) is not participating in COB, and you are hoping to see them in the Fall. Please understand that you will see them at open house but that nothing else is assured. For a favorite house, in the high pressure 20 minute party, you might meet only two sisters max and decisions will be made somewhat arbitrarily on first impressions. Also, legacy status (if in play) oes not guarantee a bid anymore or even further invitations.
2. If something about your "resume" is not standard (say, grades), then you will want to consider your COB options more carefully. Though you may see more houses next year, it WILL NOT be your choices, it will be the chapters' for all practical purposes. You may find a house with which you think you click, but they may select other PNMs they like better. If everything is up to snuff (grades, appearance, extracurriculars, conversational ability), then your chances of being invited to the next round increase, but in the end you could love a house but not be invited to return. Just a heads up.
3. I personally agree with you about declining the first two bids --- they were rushed and were the first two houses you met. There really wasn't time or a basis for a good decision. I personally dislike it when houses try to beat the other chapters to the punch to scoop up PNMs. It often backfires and is unfair to a PNM.
4. That said, upon completing your COB (which should be sometime around now), carefully consider your options with the other participating houses. If there is a house that is not issuing bids faster than a speeding bullet and in which you feel comfortable, really consider accepting and getting the monkey of indecision off of your back.
5. If, in weighing your options, you elect to go through formal recruitment (a valid choice), be prepared for whirlwind parties. Try to get to know as many sorority women this semester through other activities (kayaking club, young politicos, marathon, whatever) as possible so that you have a better feel for chapters and can cut through the superficialities of formal. You also stand a better chance of garnering the votes needed following parties.
6. Your Mom sounds supportive -- which is a real plus as some posters are not so fortunate -- and unbiased. She sounds like what she wants is best for you. Smart woman. Really talk to her about any further COB choices that you may have to discern if you haven't found a good sorority home for you.
7. Though you may want the "I LOVE MY SORORITY" chapter, consider whether that is a good fit for you. If you are an extrovert and socialble, yes. If, instead, you are shier, maybe not.
8. Academics are always key. You should be able to .find chapter GPA averages on line or through Greek Life. Most chapters will have solid GPAs; however, if the "smart cookie" chapter is most important, make it your business to find out which chapter it is. However, in chapters of 100 plus members, you are going to have some dumb chicks (who often drop out later one) and some stellar ones. You just need to ensure that you keep your grades up.
9. Even if you think the grass is greener in another chapter, it often isn't. There is some form of drama.
Hope this helps.
Last edited by pinksequins; 02-03-2015 at 10:42 AM.
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