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The key is whether or not you ACCEPT the bid. Once you ACCEPT the bid, you are bound to them until the NEXT FORMAL RECRUITMENT PERIOD. Usually ACCEPTING a bid during COB entails going to the Greek Life office and letting them know that they have extended you a bid and you have accepted. Normally, someone from the chapter will excort you there. Now, if they are giving a large number of bids, not just one or two, they may have you sign something they will take to the Greek Life office and you wouldn't have to go.

Either way, you have to sign before you are bound to them. It can get a little tricky to be diplomatic enough if they offer before you are ready to make a decision. Just be ready to tell them that you are looking at all your options and try to find out how long you have to decide. They may put a time limit on you. Keep in mind that you have no idea what will happen with the other groups and the one in your hand may be the only one you receive. So give this a great deal of thought and be ready with a nice, polite, loving answer...whatever it may be.

It makes sense that you would want to look at as many groups as you have the opportunity to meet before making a deciision. Don't feel pressured to sign anything prematurely. If presented with a bid, you can say that you are flattered but that you will need to get back to them. If they ask why you can kindly explain that visiting and getting to meet all of the (open) houses is important. You like them but owe it to yourself and them to confirm that. No long explanation is needed, jusdt a thank you and let me get back to you. Let's cross the deadline bridge if and when you get to that. I am going to suggest something else with which other GCers may or may not agree --- if the hard sell really makes you uncoomfortable, you might kindly decline this next event (Oh, that is so nice but I cannot make it.). The risk is that they may (or may not) move on to other PNMs.

Also, tons of women never have the "AHA moment" during recruitment! You are making friends, and genuine friendship takes time. In fact, I would argue that having the "AHA moment" sets you up to be disappointed once you get into the daily life of the chapter. We call that "unicorns pooping rainbows syndrome" around here, and you may be much better off thinking, "yes, I like these women and these are the beginning of real friendship" than "OMG these women are the greatest thing that ever happened to me and everything is going to fall perfectly into place with no effort from me or them."

You are DEFINITELY on the right track wanting to meet as many groups as possible!!

Agree with pinksequins that if a group is giving you the used car salesman treatment and pressuring you to sign right away, just say no. Any group that is advocating you not looking at all the options open to you might not be one you want to be part of anyway.

I so agree, 33. It may very well be that there will be no "aha" moment with any group, but at least Confused will have the basis to say: "Okay, no 'aha' moments, but based on my visits I can go with ABC without wondering if I chose too hastily". She has a basis for comparison which she currently does not have and understands that she lacks.

Confused, please take a deep breath and continue with your plan. You are on the right track. This first group may be the right group, but as you surmise, you won't know until you see other groups. If they really value you, they will give you time with the bid. Also, take a moment and do some research on this board about your school. DO NOT TELL US THE SCHOOL (emphasis in the nicest way possible in an abundance of caution). Learn for yourself whether it is one where sophomores rarely get bids or is it one where there is either an upperclass quota or a good mix of freshmen and sophomores in NM classes. You might -- based on good due diligence -- decide that COB is a great opportunity to visit houses with the expectation of going through formal in the fall. This approach carries a lot of uncertainty, so do your homework. Optimally though, you will find the group for you this Spring. Good luck!

Confused, also if you are good with humor, you might play upon the car sale example. When offered a bid, be gracious and say "Thank you, but, hey, I need a bit of time and to kick a few other tires first! But I will definitely give it careful consideration". This may work if you can pull it off. If they nevertheless push you for a hasty decision, there is nothing wrong with saying, "Thanks, but I am just not ready yet for a bid."

Also...don't use excuses. Don't say you have to discuss it with your parents/boyfriend/whoever, don't say you have to double check the financial situation, don't say you have to analyze your class schedule. Just simply and honestly tell them that you want to explore your options and aren't ready to commit to one group yet.

Even if it turns out that this isn't the group for you, you'll be helping them out by showing them that hard selling is a turnoff.

Is it possible to say "I am so humbled. When do I have to let you know my decision?"

It's ACCEPTED, not OFFERED. A chapter could offer you a bid without ever having even spoken with you. How could you be tied to that?

My word of advice: Never rely on ehow. ;)

This is true if you decline a bid in formal rush. You're not going through formal rush, so different rules apply.

Better to freak out and be sure than to not get the information and be stuck afterwards. :)

Glad it is sorted out for you. Good luck!

Sen, your suggested answer was lovely. : )

Amiblue -- I think you mean "informal" the second time (to avoid any misunderstanding). : )