Question!?I need help! (Switch Sorority?)

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I'd join a grief group and make friends in another way instead of trying to replace the loss of my mother and the friends in my sorority by doing something I'd probably otherwise have no interest in doing.

And there's another good suggestion. Placing all hope of happiness in one chapter of one sorority is setting yourself up for failure. Even if you happen to click perfectly, you can't depend on others for your happiness.

[KSUViolet06]

The thing that annoys me is that people think that not knowing about a rule makes them an exception to it.

I could say that I didn't know it was illegal to just take the dress I want at Nordstrom because I didn't have the money.

Even if I didn't know, I'm still going to jail.

Or they think that their situation is so unique that there should be an exception made JUST for them.

Ex: my college got taken over by flying monkeys and I had to transfer after initiation.

Too bad. So sad. Rules are rules.

[AZTheta]

The National Panhellenic Conference Manual of Information, 15th edition, February 2010.

The first principle of the Panhellenic Compact(signed by all 26 NPC chapters) states the following, on page 30:

III. THE PANHELLENIC COMPACT
1. A woman who is or who has ever been an initiated member of an existing NPC fraternity shall not be eligible for membership in another NPC fraternity.

I believe that the NPHC has a similar statement, and correct me if I am misinformed or have misstated a fact. Although I deeply respect and admire my DST friends, membership in that fine organization would never be an option (and I am NOT getting into membership selection, just using an example), because I am already an initiated member of an NPC GLO.

Finished.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

The National Panhellenic Conference Manual of Information, 15th edition, February 2010.

The first principle of the Panhellenic Compact(signed by all 26 NPC chapters) states the following, on page 30:

III. THE PANHELLENIC COMPACT
1. A woman who is or who has ever been an initiated member of an existing NPC fraternity shall not be eligible for membership in another NPC fraternity.

I believe that the NPHC has a similar statement, and correct me if I am misinformed or have misstated a fact. Although I deeply respect and admire my DST friends, membership in that fine organization would never be an option (and I am NOT getting into membership selection, just using an example), because I am already an initiated member of an NPC GLO.

Finished.

There are also many international, non-NPC/NPHC this applies to.

There's also a reason this happens. It's not just to make your life difficult/tick you off/for kicks and giggles. If you initiated in an organization, you put a lot of time into it and they in turn put a lot of time into you. In addition, you promised loyalty and dedication to that organization.

If you were initiated in a Greek organization and you are seeking membership in another organization, you obviously don't give two shakes about those life and loyalty and dedication pledges. You just care about the t-shirts and mixers. Consequently, even if those rules DIDN'T exist, most groups still wouldn't want to pledge you, simply because of the type of member you would be.

[honeyD]

I have told my entire sorority about my situation and discussed it in depth with my president. They support me and have my back. I know the rules I am just on here telling my situation to get some advice and information on what I can possibly do. This is not a made up story in any possible way I hate talking about it. I am not looking for sympathy or special treatment. I am not trying to be disloyal or disrepectful or sneaky for that matter. I honestly just want to be were my mom was when she was in college. Thanks.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by honeyD

I have told my entire sorority about my situation and discussed it in depth with my president. They support me and have my back. I know the rules I am just on here telling my situation to get some advice and information on what I can possibly do. This is not a made up story in any possible way I hate talking about it. I am not looking for sympathy or special treatment. I am not trying to be disloyal or disrepectful or sneaky for that matter. I honestly just want to be were my mom was when she was in college. Thanks.

You want to do something against the rules, then say you don't want special treatment? And also, have you even considered even if you could rush again, you might not get a bid at that chapter?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by honeyD

I have told my entire sorority about my situation and discussed it in depth with my president. They support me and have my back. I know the rules I am just on here telling my situation to get some advice and information on what I can possibly do. This is not a made up story in any possible way I hate talking about it. I am not looking for sympathy or special treatment. I am not trying to be disloyal or disrepectful or sneaky for that matter. I honestly just want to be were my mom was when she was in college. Thanks.

QFP.

The NPC Panhellenic Compact has just experienced rejectment.

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by honeyD

I have told my entire sorority about my situation and discussed it in depth with my president. They support me and have my back. (Really? Wow! Maybe to your face, I can't imagine them being happy about you wanting to join another org, no matter the circumstances) I know the rules (apparently not since you aren't taking what's been said seriously) I am just on here telling my situation to get some advice and information on what I can possibly do (there is nothing else you can possibly do. Seriously. Enough already.). This is not a made up story in any possible way I hate talking about it (could have fooled me) . I am not looking for sympathy or special treatment (then why do you think the rules shouldn't apply to you? Do you think other people haven't been in your shoes before? Disappointment is a part of life. Learn to grow from it). I am not trying to be disloyal (you are disaffiliating from your org and want to join another, that's textbook disloyal) or disrepectful (by CONSTANTLY saying "yes, i know the rules, but..." is being exactly disrespectful to those here who have explained things to you over and over) or sneaky for that matter. I honestly just want to be were my mom was when she was in college (aren't you at your moms college? Join your local alumnae group). Thanks.

Seriously. You are just digging yourself deeper. Panhell will run your social security number against what the school has for you and it will be run through other orgs to see if you belong. You will be found out.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by honeyD

I have told my entire sorority about my situation and discussed it in depth with my president. They support me and have my back. I know the rules I am just on here telling my situation to get some advice and information on what I can possibly do. This is not a made up story in any possible way I hate talking about it. I am not looking for sympathy or special treatment. I am not trying to be disloyal or disrepectful or sneaky for that matter. I honestly just want to be were my mom was when she was in college. Thanks.

The answer is that no matter what, it is against the rules. There are no exceptions, even when the situation is beyond your control. Many people have explained why it is disloyal and such. Beyond those two issues... here is what you can possibly do: obey the rules and not join or break the rules and attempt to rush. If you do choose to rush at your new school and are found out (and please understand it is extremely unlikely that you will make it through your years as a collegian without being caught), you will probably lose your membership in both organizations, and that is assuming you are given a bid in the first place. (As you know, a PNM cannot be guaranteed to receive a bid to her first choice.)

Also know that just because your mother had a great experience in that chapter does not mean that you will. You might click with the girls there, but you might not. There are so many other ways to find new friends without sneaking around or taking risks. Understand that you WILL be sneaking around if you attempt to go through recruitment, because you will have to hide your former affiliation. You will not be allowed to join recruitment if you are honest about your current membership (even if you quit). Hiding something like that, especially with facebook and myspace, could get very stressful. I assume when you say that you did not "make up" your earlier post that you lost your mother. If that is the case, I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard that is. But finding a grief support group with other people your age that have lost a parent is probably a better and far less risky way to find people who can and will support you. They will be able to relate to what you're going through. You could visit the Counseling center at your new school and have them help you find such a group.

You can also keep up your friendships with your current sisters. Definitely download Skype and have them do so as well...plan visits whenever finances and time allow. Invite them to come visit you. A local alum group is also a great resource as there are probably other displaced sisters in the area who have transferred and no longer have a chapter to belong to.

Keep in mind that depending on this one thing...getting into this specific chapter...for your happiness is not healthy. You have to find ways to make yourself get through this rough patch. Remember that if you do choose to rush at your new school you're risking not making it into the chapter, getting in and getting subsequently kicked out, or even just getting in and finding out you don't relate to the sisters and are feeling left out and lost, while having to remember to hide your former affiliation. That's a big risk and a lot to handle. It's a gamble.

To recap: What you want to do is not allowed, even under your personal circumstances. Even if the chapter you currently belong to agrees to you wanting to join another sorority. I don't think anyone here will tell you it is "ok", and there's no help to be found, the answer is what it is. So you have to make your own choice.

In the future, you might want to take questions like this to someone you feel comfortable talking to. Because your circumstances are so personal and, of course, life changing, you need to talk to someone who you know and trust so that you can get whatever you need out of the conversation without getting hurt.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by honeyD

I honestly just want to be where my mom was when she was in college. Thanks.

If the story you told is the truth, I'll echo Drolefille and say get your butt to grief counseling, rather than to recruitment. You are looking for something to fix your pain rather than working through it and dealing with it. The LAST thing you want is to be "OMG that poor girl who's a legacy and we have to take her because of what happened." You will be "that girl" for your entire college career, and then some.

I guess I kind of wonder why with such strong family ties you didn't go to that college in the first place...or if you truly want to be there at all...or if you're going there/wanting to join this group out of a misplaced sense of obligation and survivors' guilt. Do some long hard thinking, and if where you truly want to be is your original college, you CAN make it work. Let the college know what happened, check out your student loans, and see if the sorority you're ALREADY in has scholarships for needy members. Believe me, I understand family pressure...I have actually had family members tell me I should stay in my hometown (where I was miserable) and get a crappy job that I hated because I was obligated to my mother to do so. If anyone is telling you anything like that, tell them to go pound sand and that living your own life that YOU want doesn't mean you didn't love your mother.

IrishLake: She pledged ABC at her first college and is now transferring to SecondCollege. Her mom, grandma, sisters, cousins, and aunts were all XYZs at SecondCollege. XYZ wasn't at FirstCollege.

[FleurGirl]

What about a local sorority? If her campus has locals that could be a good option. It wouldn't be XYZ but if it's really sisterhood your after and not just letters, it's an option. And there's always clubs, intramural sports, all kinds of stuff you can do to get involved...
But the fact of the matter is, you joined an NPC sorority, and you cannot under any circumstances whatsoever join another NPC sorority. Period. No exceptions.

[IrishLake]

And ABC is not at second college. Got it. If she is now at Second college, then she's at least sharing an alma mater with her mom. She can take solice in that. And ditto to everything Alumiyum said. There is no good outcome to rushing/pledging again.

[XanexAZ]

Originally Posted by honeyD

Last year I went to college as a freshmen and joined a sorority to try and make my college experience better along with meeting new people. Over the summer I learned that my parents could not afford to send me to that college any more and I needed to transfer to another college closer to home, and to help out my family. I am at the college were my whole family went and my mom, aunt, cousins, and grandma were all in the same sorority. I want to be able to experience meeting new friends and being in that bond of sisterhood at this new school and in general! But I am in a tough situation because I already had pledged in another sorority at a different college and the sorority is not at my new college. Is there anything I can possibly do to be in the same sorority my mom and family was in at the new college I am at to try and have that sisterhood experience? I understand there are many polocies and rules about this... but this was out of my control! Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Thankyou.

Let's face it sweet pea. You fucked up. I joined Alpha Zeta. I didn't get into my first choice, but I'm glad I joined AZ. I met a lot of cool guys, and I wouldn't change it. Just be glad you're greek.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

My organization makes the entire/most current NPC Manual available to all members in the passworded section of our website. I'm sure other organizations out there have a similar means of getting the information to their members.

Just curious -- why would this be on the password protected section? It seems to me this is one of those things the NPC would want to be as available as possible and would have available to anyone on their own website.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Just curious -- why would this be on the password protected section? It seems to me this is one of those things the NPC would want to be as available as possible and would have available to anyone on their own website.

b/c they want you to buy the full manual