Please Help! I just have questions...

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by jessipoo915

vanity fair,

I can say my situation was very much like yours. I dont think i felt truly at home with my chapter until I moved in to the house. While i never seriously considered dropping or depledging, I can relate to not feeling like I fit in with my pledge sisters.

Having said that, I found other ways to get involved in the chapter outside of my pledge class. I joined exec board the semester after initiation and I am now chapter president. I sometimes think about how awkward I felt in those first few months, but what you get out of Greek life is what you put in to it. I chose to give it my all and it has been the most beautiful, rewarding, exciting, decision I have ever made for myself.

Think long and hard before you pass up on something that might be just as great.

Excellent post!!

[ThetaPrincess24]

I think I know what university this is. I would heed the advice of others on this board and make an honest effort to try to get to know the ladies of the chapter and your pledge class. If by initiation day you still feel this way, then I would say quit, but note this chapter that extended you a bid may be your only chance of being greek. If you choose to quit and particpate in recruitment again next spring, do be prepared for the high possibility of not receiving a bid anywhere. De-pledging and being a sophomore will be big strikes against you.

[Smile_Awhile]

Originally Posted by mittens

Just do Tri Pi a favor and depledge. You will never be happy with Tri Pi because you will always think about what might of happened if you did this or that.

Glad you had such a blessed recruitment experience, Mittens. Not everyone is as lucky as you.

Look, I've been very open here in stating AXO was not my first choice during my recruitment. I cried on bid day, and I seriously considered dropping. I learned that I did fit in with the group, and accepted them as they accepted me.

And I still had what ifs about my second choice until about a year ago- a few months after my initiation. I don't think it's unhealthy to have them. But you also know that you are in the best place for you.

OP, if you are truly so stuck up to believe that you're above these women (which your post about your fit with the chapter implies), then drop. Chapters don't need women who are Negative Nancys, who look down upon the other sisters because they "don't wear enough jewelry" or wear Uggs. But if you can bring yourself down to earth once again, and see that you can truly fit with these women, then stay.

[thetygerlily]

Originally Posted by Smile_Awhile

Look, I've been very open here in stating AXO was not my first choice during my recruitment. I cried on bid day, and I seriously considered dropping. I learned that I did fit in with the group, and accepted them as they accepted me.

And I still had what ifs about my second choice until about a year ago- a few months after my initiation. I don't think it's unhealthy to have them. But you also know that you are in the best place for you.

Not everyone gets their first choice. You will find many recruitment stories on here, both live and retro, that address it. Many of those wind up loving the choice they DO get, and many of those later realize that their original first choice wasn't as good a fit as they once thought. Sometimes the chapters see something that you don't- they often can tell better who will fit in with them than the PNMs can tell where they fit in. Sometimes you like one over another because they are what you want to be or what you like, rather than what you are or can be.

Like Smile_Awhile, I also did not get my first choice through recruitment. I even considered dropping out of recruitment- but I didn't. I stuck it out through the new member period, and beyond. It took about a year before I really found my place in the group and I wouldn't change a thing. I love my chapter alumnae and the national org. Maybe we had a rocky start, but it's where I belong.

I hope you can make a clear choice to either give it an honest chance, or cut your losses now. But I would vote for the former, especially with ThetaPrincess's comment.

[ASTalumna06]

vanityfair - Also, keep in mind that the people who are in the chapter now won't be there forever. Seniors will be graduating at the end of this semester, and many new PNMs will show up for recruitment next year, and some of them will join your chapter. Maybe your best friends haven't even joined the chapter yet!

And whether you stay with this chapter or not, please get past the superficial reasons for joining a GLO... because, by mentioning jewelry and Ugg boots, that's exactly what you're implying you care about (whether you mean to or not).

[twinkle555]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Ranking your choices and signing that list basically says "I agree to accept a bid from ANY of the sororities on this list."

If you did not wish to accept a bid from any of those 3, you should not have put them on your list.

Example: If you knew you wouldn't take a bid from Tri Pi, the best thing to do would have been to leave them off.

However, I understand that many girls tend to feel like they HAVE to rank all 3. In reality, you should only rank all choices if you're willing to take a bid from ANY of them (not just one or two).

Originally Posted by vanityfair5

I didn't know this at the time! I wish I had!

Circumstances like this hardly work out, chances are (just a guess, never really know of course) you would have gotten a bid to your third choice if you had left off Tri Pi.

Are you really realllllly trying to get to know everyone in Tri Pi? Or are you a closed door to them? Give them the chance they deserve. Open up to your new sisters, after all (hate to be so harsh here but...) Tri Pi wanted you, ZBZ did not.

[RedHotSigDelt]

I got my second choice during recruitment. I thought about depledging numerous times. And even since being initiated, there have been times that I questioned my choice. But ultimately, accepting my bid was probably the best decision I've ever made. There times when I felt like I didn't fit in, like I didn't have any friends, times when some of my sisters said things that were stupid or unkind. But I've also gained confidence, leadership skills, and friends for life, and I wouldn't exchange that for ANYTHING.

No sorority is perfect. As great as ZBZ came across during recruitment, I'm sure they have flaws as well, but you wouldn't see them unless you were a member. If the worst things about Tri Pi are their outfit choices and enthusiasm, you could really do a lot worse. And as a sidenote - I'm sure recruitment rules vary from campus to campus, but at my school, telling a girl you think she would fit in is an infraction that comes with a pretty hefty fine...

And as for the girls talking trash about other sororities...I guarantee that this happens in EVERY chapter. But it's probably a minority. If it really bothers you, say something about it - you'd be surprised who backs you up

In conclusion...give them a chance.