Is mutual selection really mutual?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by SureSister

Be the great representative now that they are seeking in their membership. They won't be able to resist you next year.

[/FONT]

I know you're new here, but I have to caution you against saying this to PNMs. We can't say "if you do this, this, and this, you'll get a bid to your top choice next year." Why? Because we can't guarantee that (and neither can you). We can't assume to know what a sorority is looking for in new members, because we just don't know.

I know you're just trying to be encouraging, but keep in perspective that (as you know) recruitment is complicated and you can't say that if girls do certain things that "a sorority won't be able to resist them." If you look in the Recruitment Stories forum, you'll see that involved women who have good grades don't get their first choices or get dropped from recruitment entirely. So all of those things do not = a bid.

[sherryanne]

Couldn't one argue that the mutual selection is a bit unfair? Sure, you and PNM #2 both talked to two actives individually, but PNM ##2 has a best friend in the house, whose influence is probably stronger than those that met her for only a few minutes - thus, PNM #2 would have an advantage when it came to ranking PNMs...? Unless I am wrong about the whole friends part - do active friends/relatives in the house have a say even though they don't necessarily get to talk to the PNM?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by sherryanne

Couldn't one argue that the mutual selection is a bit unfair? Sure, you and PNM #2 both talked to two actives individually, but PNM ##2 has a best friend in the house, whose influence is probably stronger than those that met her for only a few minutes - thus, PNM #2 would have an advantage when it came to ranking PNMs...? Unless I am wrong about the whole friends part - do active friends/relatives in the house have a say even though they don't necessarily get to talk to the PNM?

I think talking about ranking PNMs, influence, and friends in houses treads into Membership Selection, which is private info.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

I don't think the PX had deceitful intentions, but whatever it was, her words were definitely misleading. She should have simply said, "Whatever group(s) you mark down, there is a possibility of getting a bid extended to you by that group".

SIGH.

Who knows what she really said! Maybe this PNM just heard what she wanted to hear...that there was little chance that she wouldn't get her 1st or 2nd choice. There's always two sides to every story.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by sherryanne

Couldn't one argue that the mutual selection is a bit unfair? Sure, you and PNM #2 both talked to two actives individually, but PNM ##2 has a best friend in the house, whose influence is probably stronger than those that met her for only a few minutes - thus, PNM #2 would have an advantage when it came to ranking PNMs...? Unless I am wrong about the whole friends part - do active friends/relatives in the house have a say even though they don't necessarily get to talk to the PNM?

What do you propose to fix this? Draw names out of a bag?

[ComradesTrue]

Since everyone has done a nice job of answering RN3s questions, may I make a slight hijack?

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

Also. It's too late. I already rejected my bid. I got my bid at 10 and we had to decide by noon. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go to bid day crying so I just went home.

Is this standard practice on many campuses? It has been over 15 years since I rushed, but if I recall correctly we had 24 hours to decide whether to accept a bid. That allowed the emotions to calm down a bit, disappointed girls time to compose themselves, and even some the chance to "sleep on things." PNMs could also call and talk to family, etc.

Bid Day was at 4:30 and so the PNMs had that evening and then most of the next day to make up their minds. Was it common for someone to take 24 hours? No, but there were definitely times when it took more than 2 hours, and every year there were a few that accepted thier bids the next morning.

Anyway, it just seems that with a mere 2 hour window that exactly what happened with this PNM would happen. Emotions are running high, fear that people would see that she had been crying, etc I think would sway many of them to just go back to the dorm.

[WinniBug]

Originally Posted by sherryanne

Couldn't one argue that the mutual selection is a bit unfair? Sure, you and PNM #2 both talked to two actives individually, but PNM ##2 has a best friend in the house, whose influence is probably stronger than those that met her for only a few minutes - thus, PNM #2 would have an advantage when it came to ranking PNMs...? Unless I am wrong about the whole friends part - do active friends/relatives in the house have a say even though they don't necessarily get to talk to the PNM?

I don't understand your question, exactly....

[Zillini]

To the OP: I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted them to. I'm sorry you were given and followed bad advice from your Rho Chi. Even moreso, I'm sorry you didn't give the chapter that extended you a bid a chance.

You can contact Panhellenic to see if you can change your mind. Honestly I don't know if this is possible either by NPC or your campus Panhellenic rules. It is worth a shot. The worst they can do is say "No."

Please keep in mind though that even if it is within the rules, the chapter may no longer have a spot for you. Since you officially declined the bid, that chapter may have already snap bid someone to fill their vacancy in quota.

But if that's not the case, please do not pursue this if you seriously have zero interest in being initiated into XYZ and only want to soothe your broken heart a bit. By accepting a bid with no intention of initiating you would be postponing that chapter's ability to COR up to quota.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Is this standard practice on many campuses? It has been over 15 years since I rushed, but if I recall correctly we had 24 hours to decide whether to accept a bid. That allowed the emotions to calm down a bit, disappointed girls time to compose themselves, and even some the chance to "sleep on things." PNMs could also call and talk to family, etc.

Bid Day was at 4:30 and so the PNMs had that evening and then most of the next day to make up their minds. Was it common for someone to take 24 hours? No, but there were definitely times when it took more than 2 hours, and every year there were a few that accepted thier bids the next morning.

Anyway, it just seems that with a mere 2 hour window that exactly what happened with this PNM would happen. Emotions are running high, fear that people would see that she had been crying, etc I think would sway many of them to just go back to the dorm.

Oh heck, I didn't even see that. I know when we handed out open bids they had 24 hours, but I can't remember what the timeframe was in formal rush - but Blondie, I think you're probably right.

Oh and SureSister, please go elsewhere and plug your blog - to say to a rushee who is upset "they won't be able to resist you next year" is absolutely deplorable and shows you know NOTHING about rush.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by WinniBug

I don't understand your question, exactly....

I think she is asking is if only the people who actually talk to the rushee get to vote. Of course, that is membership selection info and not for public consumption.

[joliebelle]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Since everyone has done a nice job of answering RN3s questions, may I make a slight hijack?




Is this standard practice on many campuses? It has been over 15 years since I rushed, but if I recall correctly we had 24 hours to decide whether to accept a bid. That allowed the emotions to calm down a bit, disappointed girls time to compose themselves, and even some the chance to "sleep on things." PNMs could also call and talk to family, etc.

Bid Day was at 4:30 and so the PNMs had that evening and then most of the next day to make up their minds. Was it common for someone to take 24 hours? No, but there were definitely times when it took more than 2 hours, and every year there were a few that accepted thier bids the next morning.

Anyway, it just seems that with a mere 2 hour window that exactly what happened with this PNM would happen. Emotions are running high, fear that people would see that she had been crying, etc I think would sway many of them to just go back to the dorm.

For our recruitment this year, our bid lists are due at 3 and bid day begins at 5. To me this means that the PNMs have less than 2 hours to basically make what could potentially be a life changing decision.

I didn't go through formal recruitment, I COB'ed, but I was told that I had 24 hours to accept or decline

[CarolinaCutie]

At my school, PNMs receive their bids any time from 9 to 12, and Bid Day is at 1:00. This does give them plenty of time to dry their eyes if they are upset. However, there are some girls who choose to take their 24 hours- it's not common, but it happens. You would just miss Bid Day. For us, limiting the amount of tent talk going on after pref cards are signed is more of a necessity than giving girls added time, so Bid Day is the afternoon after Pref Night.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Who knows what she really said! Maybe this PNM just heard what she wanted to hear...that there was little chance that she wouldn't get her 1st or 2nd choice. There's always two sides to every story.

WELL SAID.

We don't know what the PX said FOR SURE... we just know what this person has told us.

Re: others advice to ask to be re-instated... I would only advise this if you were 100% sure. Only b/c if I were in their position, and we had a girl reject our bid, then ask for it back, only to drop out again later, that would really p!ss me off. I mean, that spot could have easily gone to someone who REALLY WANTED it.

It's kind of different if you accepted the bid, and later decided it wasn't for you and dropped out. But if you dropped out TWICE that would rub me the wrong way. And I will say, sororities talk to each other throughout the year. All the other sororities will know THAT new member of XYZ who dropped twice in less than 6 wks time and it may sway their decisions if she went through rush again next year.

[SureSister]

KSUViolet06:

You are right about the “resist” sentence. Thank you for pointing it out so diplomatically. I have corrected the post.

However, I'm sure you would agree that the steps I mentioned wouldn't hurt her chances in next years' recruitment. I don't know of any sorority that is seeking new members with low grades, low involvement, immaturity, and a poor attitude. Maybe it would be good to generate some discussion about what a freshman should do if she knows that she wants to participate in recruitment next year. It's certainly a different situation from a high school senior starting her senior year, right?

33girl:

1. What blog? I did not point you to a blog.
2. I'm not sure why you would write something like that when I probably know something. I contributed to the thread to try to help the OP. I didn't insult, criticize or demean any other GCer, GLO, or do anything out out of line. I don't really feel that I deserved such a response...

Originally Posted by SureSister

33girl:

1. What blog? I did not point you to a blog.
2. I'm not sure why you would write something like that when I probably know something. I contributed to the thread to try to help the OP. I didn't insult, criticize or demean any other GCer, GLO, or do anything out out of line. I don't really feel that I deserved such a response...

OH QUIT PLAYING STUPID.

You had your muxgo blog promoting that stupid book in your damn signature FOR WEEKS.

To refresh your memory, a cached view of your signature.