Negotiation vs. Settling

[Scandia]

I honestly think the reason why some (not all) Christians in their 20s are so marriage hungry is because we want to satisfy our sexual drives and longings in a legitimate way. Some of us don't even need the church mores and commandments (or the statistics, or consequences and scares that happen to friends) in order to avoid premarital sex- we just feel too uncomfortable with it by nature.

I don't want kids. I don't want a picket fence- or even a single family home to be honest. I don't want to become a soccer mom. I seek my own status as an individual and do not want to simply become "Mrs. Such and Such". I just want someone to love in a romantic way- with all that it entails- and that our relationship is blessed and approved by God.

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by Kevin

I can't believe you'd be so judgmental. Psychopathic stalking domestic violence abusing is how some of us show our love.

Nothing says I love you like a restraining order!

[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by Scandia

I honestly think the reason why some (not all) Christians in their 20s are so marriage hungry is because we want to satisfy our sexual drives and longings in a legitimate way.

You don't have to be married nor have a partner to satisfy your...uh..."sexual drives".
"If you want a job done right, do it yourself".

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

I used to partay like a freak, 8 days a week, 25 hours a day...

I would pay GOOD MONEY to see this. And participate.

And LOL @ CP2000. That's just not as much fun, ever.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by valkyrie

And LOL @ CP2000. That's just not as much fun, ever.

Fair enough....

But people needn't think that they are without options here....

[AKA_Monet]

FYI. Just passing this along...


If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve to be treated then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant. Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man! Nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to complete you ... A relationship consists of two whole individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes you for granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar, but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies.....

You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Pass this on to at least 10 women and 5 men.

By the way, this was written by a man, so take a hint!

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I would pay GOOD MONEY to see this. And participate.

Just hope you keep up... Try out-drinking Ouzo with a Cajun... That's a hard feat... Boy, did my stomach have it's revenge on me the next day, not to mention my head...

And let's not talk about "thangs" I did in high school--some um, 28957980 years ago... I must have given one of my best "Christian Values" speeches after my Senior Prom... I'll just say I experimented with some "stuh"... I was a stoopid kid.

[CarolinaCutie]

You know, AKA Monet, that was probably one of the most helpful chain-forward type things I've ever read. Too much time wasted with men who will never love me or treat me the way I deserve to be treated...

In a way, I think a general "list" is good to have. Not specifics like "must be 6ft 2 with brown hair", but knowing what is a total dealbreaker for you is important. I've had issues in the past with letting surface things like physical attraction or the ability to have a good time and laugh with a person affect my emotional attachment too much... and you can save yourself a lot of heartache by not falling in love with someone who you knew wasn't right for you from Day One.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by centaur532

Nothing says I love you like a restraining order!

You know.. there's more truth in that statement than you know

If you ever get a chance, go sit in on a VPO docket sometime. (that's restraining order docket, or whatever you call it where you're at)

Some of the best stories judges will ever tell you come out of their experiences with those VPO dockets.

Here's a great one (and I have no idea if I can tell it as well as the judge in question did..)

Two individuals represented by counsel appeared one morning on the VPO docket -- a man and a woman, boyfriend and girlfriend. The man was obviously a bodybuilder. He was huge. The woman was as well.. they were both gym rats. The man in this case was the Plaintiff.

The court asks, "Sir, do you have a legitimate reason to be afraid of this woman?"

Man replies, "Yes, she stabbed me during a fight."

The court: [to woman] "Is this true?"

Woman: "Yes your honor."

Woman's attorney: "Your honor, I have something to add. The plaintiff here has shown since the altercation that he does not actually fear my client. Since the stabbing incident, they have had intercourse."

The court [to man]: "Is this true? If so, how long ago was it that this occurred?"

Man: [Looks at his watch]...silence...

__________

They're not always that good, but think... Jerry Springer show and you're pretty close.