Dorm Shower...is that a thing now?

[AGDee]

I hate dollar dances. They were common in my first husband's family but my family didn't do them. I wouldn't do it.

I think people getting married later in life is changing the face of the whole situation but I don't have a problem with both shower and wedding gifts. I don't see a dorm shower being a thing- that's just a graduation party. Call it that and be done.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I think dollar dances are horrifying. I had one at my own wedding, but the money raised was not worth the embarrassment of the grubbing for money.

Exactly. I've always thought, "what did they make? $40, maybe?".. it just doesn't seem worth it, especially when you could potentially be ruining people's good time at the wedding.

[GammaGirl1908]

Ugh. If this is about to become a thing, I am not on board with it. I haven't been invited to one of these, and I reeeeeeeally don't think I'd attend if I were. If this graduate already had a graduation party, she's had her chance to be feted on her way to college. If she didn't already have a graduation party, perhaps she should have had a graduation party (or should call this her graduation party)

I say you get gift-giving parties for:

• birthdays (and the less milestone-y the birthday, and the more often you have birthday parties, likely the smaller the gifts)
• graduations (generally high school and college)
• getting married (and each person gives one shower gift, even if invited to multiple showers)
• first baby (MAYBE second baby if the first kid is now, like, a teenager)

That's about it. In my opinion, there are many other life events where you certainly may host a celebration (and by "host," I mean you are expected to provide the food and drinks), but gifts aren't expected or customary. If someone wants to bring a bottle of wine to your housewarming party, that is lovely, but no one should feel obligated to go trawling through lists at Williams-Sonoma because you moved down the street.

Unfortunately, though, I seem to be in the minority on this one. Sigh.

[GammaGirl1908]

Should have read the whole thread before posting. If they'd called this her belated graduation party, I wouldn't have batted an eyelash. Communication fundamentals, kids.

[StealthMode]

When a friend of mine (from a well-off family) graduated high school around 2000, her grad party invitations included a sample of things she needed for her dorm and a note of where she was registered. When I was graduating, I asked my mom if I was supposed to be registered somewhere and she said "Absolutely not. That was not how things are supposed to go but I didn't want to talk about her at the time because that was your friend."