I Don't Date Outside of My Race...

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Back on topic, I will say that, as a black female, I don't understand why black women feel so disrespected about interracial romances. I just don't! There have been black guys that I was interested in, who started dating white women. Was it a reflection on me and what I lack? Hell no!

I thought it was a trite stereotype, but between reading this thread and the Harold Ford stuff on blacksocialite, it still comes as a suprise to me. I have an aunt who used to really bitch and moan about black men dating outside their race, until my cousin brought home a half-Asian woman...and then she got real sweet once grandkids started coming. She's a bitter lonely bitch anyway, so I figured it was just her. But no!

How did you get to that point in your thinking? Has it always been that way for you? Just asking? Because, maybe you can help a Sistah out...

[neosoul]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

How did you get to that point in your thinking? Has it always been that way for you? Just asking? Because, maybe you can help a Sistah out...

even though your question wasn't directed me, I somewhat agree with Munchkin03. I'm Nigerian and I went to high school in two African countries where more than 25% of the school's population were what we affectionately called .5 or half caste, kids of mixed heritage, African and some other Eurocentric nationality. So growing up in the 90s seeing all these multicoloured faces was nothing of a big deal to me.

I really couldn't care less if black men want or choose to date exclusively non black women, it just means one less person I can cross of my list. I take happiness where I can find it, be it the arms of my Bacardi Watermelon, or the arms of a non black man/woman/tranny/shim/it.

Just like there are men who date exclusively non black for *hitty reason, there are women who do the exact same, date non black for *hitty reasons, and when you sit down and listen to thier logic, its scary, its almost like they're brainwashed or have had a one bad experience and are tainting everyone with the same brush.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

How did you get to that point in your thinking? Has it always been that way for you? Just asking? Because, maybe you can help a Sistah out...

I grew up in a highly multicultural environment (before it was cool!), near a military base, where you have all sorts of people, from Filipina GI brides to Indian aerospace engineers, mingling. Even though it's a highly conservative area of the country, interracial relationships were commonplace.

Part of it is also the fact that I have dated people of all backgrounds. So, how can I attack someone, when I do the same thing?

Finally, I was raised not to project a man's opinion of me onto how I live my life. So what if a man doesn't dig black women? No reflection on this one, because for each one that doesn't, I've found 10 more who do!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I grew up in a highly multicultural environment (before it was cool!), near a military base, where you have all sorts of people, from Filipina GI brides to Indian aerospace engineers, mingling. Even though it's a highly conservative area of the country, interracial relationships were commonplace.

Part of it is also the fact that I have dated people of all backgrounds. So, how can I attack someone, when I do the same thing?

Finally, I was raised not to project a man's opinion of me onto how I live my life. So what if a man doesn't dig black women? No reflection on this one, because for each one that doesn't, I've found 10 more who do!

Yeah so I think I'm in love with you.

[starang21]

Originally Posted by neosoul

woman/tranny/shim/it.

ummm.....

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by neosoul

I really couldn't care less if black men want or choose to date exclusively non black women, it just means one less person I can cross of my list. I take happiness where I can find it, be it the arms of my Bacardi Watermelon, or the arms of a non black man/woman/tranny/shim/it.

Just like there are men who date exclusively non black for *hitty reason, there are women who do the exact same, date non black for *hitty reasons, and when you sit down and listen to thier logic, its scary, its almost like they're brainwashed or have had a one bad experience and are tainting everyone with the same brush.

My friend would always say, "that it is just one less person to think about a Christmastime..."

I understand what you are saying. I am just not "there" yet. I need prayer...

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I grew up in a highly multicultural environment (before it was cool!), near a military base, where you have all sorts of people, from Filipina GI brides to Indian aerospace engineers, mingling. Even though it's a highly conservative area of the country, interracial relationships were commonplace.

Part of it is also the fact that I have dated people of all backgrounds. So, how can I attack someone, when I do the same thing?

Finally, I was raised not to project a man's opinion of me onto how I live my life. So what if a man doesn't dig black women? No reflection on this one, because for each one that doesn't, I've found 10 more who do!

It is not that I am not open to various kinds of relationships, folks will do what they want to do. But, I really take issue with our group basically stating their reasons why they choose to avoid women of their similar group...

The other issue is many kids resulting from the liaisons suffer some form of self esteem issues. I am already seeing it in my little 3 year old nephew. He knows something is wrong, but he does not understand it in his little mind. How can I buttress that up so that when he gets older he is not displaying risky behaviors? Yes, his parents should KNOW this, but they are inundated with work or whatever other issues that I cannot go into in here.

Originally Posted by starang21

ummm.....

Starang--don't hate, participate!!!

[starang21]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Starang--don't hate, participate!!!

i'm not hating.

i don't know whether or not i should have been mortified or unsually aroused. it's all so confusing.

[neosoul]

rotfl @ starang

[Little32]

lol at Soror Monet and starang.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

The other issue is many kids resulting from the liaisons suffer some form of self esteem issues. I am already seeing it in my little 3 year old nephew. He knows something is wrong, but he does not understand it in his little mind. How can I buttress that up so that when he gets older he is not displaying risky behaviors? Yes, his parents should KNOW this, but they are inundated with work or whatever other issues that I cannot go into in here.

This is going to be a little controversial here, but I'm going to say it because I've felt this way for a long time. I suspect that the kids with the most "problems" that can be connected with their heritage are the ones where the parent of color is emotionally or physically absent or less than functional, leaving the white parent to raise the child/ren in an environment where they are very isolated.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

This is going to be a little controversial here, but I'm going to say it because I've felt this way for a long time. I suspect that the kids with the most "problems" that can be connected with their heritage are the ones where the parent of color is emotionally or physically absent or less than functional, leaving the white parent to raise the child/ren in an environment where they are very isolated.

That is not controversial!!! That is downright dead on accurate. No doubt. I am seeing that RIGHT NOW!!! These young ladies who had my brother's babies, wow... All they wanted was a meaningful relationship. Maybe they went about it with less than altruistic reasons, nonetheless, it not involves another human being. These poor kids don't know any different. So, what does this say about the development of their self-esteems?

Another question--if the dude is an asswipe, in general, how do these women manage? Especially when they do really have any Sistah friends because of the bullisht dude ingrained into their heads? I.e. Sistahs are more hostile--see the sneers!!!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by starang21

but you said you didn't want to read the books.

No I don't want to read them. Just because it's in a book or written by some famous author doesn't make it right.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Little32

@CheerfulGreek: You were looking for a validation of your perspective, not understanding (because if you were looking for the latter, than a bit of reading and research might be necessary). When you didn't get that you decided to "remain clueless," which essentially means I am right even if y'all don't agree. That's okay--I guess.

I'm clueless as of why, because it's pretty shallow for someone to say "Oh, he shouldn't be with her because she's white."

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I'm clueless as of why, because it's pretty shallow for someone to say "Oh, he shouldn't be with her because she's white."

Sweetie, now are you being obstinate or do you really NOT understand? I do not think that is what most people are saying (in bolded)--what they are saying is that these men prey on some types of women for baseless reasons and are derogatory and bigoted to the women in their same group...

It is one thing that a man sees a woman and is physically attracted to her, gets to know her more and decides he likes being around her and wants to get to know her more in a dating capacity and the man happens to be Black and the woman happens to be White...

It is another thing that this same Black man says that ALL BLACK WOMEN are bitches and that he hates them because they are not {insert derogatory comment here}--so he going to date anything BUT BLACK... That is what we are talking about... That is ALL we are discussing...

The conclusions we all have come to is:

• That these men are idiots.
  
• They are one less person to think about at Christmastime.

And we have sort of moved on to the kids that result from these liaisons and their self-esteems, which is a very real personal issue for me...

It says nothing about your situation. If you have found a young man that enjoys your company and treats you respectfully and he happens to be Black, I wish you all the best in your relationship.

But, after discussing a variety of topics with you, I really think you can benefit from reading and educating yourself with references rather than solely relying on this young man for his culture. So that when you encounter that awkwardness, you are better prepared when you communicate with your loved ones. Hey, you can take it or leave my advice. Besides, how come you desire cluelessness? Do you have anything we all need to know?

And if your "boyfriend" is telling you not to interact with Black women, I am here to tell you that is full of shit and EFF that... You had better make some Sistahfriends and not the bootylicious subculture--because hayle no, that is not it... You know what I am talking about... Let me know, because we can assist you in what to say and do...


Now with that said, I have something for you in the News and Views thread!!!

[starang21]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

No I don't want to read them. Just because it's in a book or written by some famous author doesn't make it right.

and just because you say it's wrong doesn't mean it's wrong, either. in fact, they're way more on the dot about the subject than you are. but you are more than allowed to wallow in your "cluelessness" i.e. ignorance.