Dilemma DA or Stay - Page 2

12dn94dst · #16 09-06-2007, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dilemma44

however, after you cross its basically like you are already a brother. you just haven't undergone the actual initiation.

is it just me, or is there something very suspect (and indiscreet) about this?

Senusret I · #17 09-06-2007, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12dn94dst

is it just me, or is there something very suspect about that?

To put that into some perspective....

In Alpha Phi Omega, there is a very distinct period after pledging officially ends and before you are initiated. (NOT a probate or hell week period) For some chapters it might be a week, in my chapter it's a few hours. In some chapters, "crossing" might be different from initiation for that reason.

That's not the case in my chapter, but I wanted to provide some additional perspective that could be relevant to this dude's experience.

ETA: Since you also edited yours, I just wanted to point out that everything I mentioned is publicly accessible information on our website, in the pledging standards.

12dn94dst · #18 09-06-2007, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

To put that into some perspective....

In Alpha Phi Omega, there is a very distinct period after pledging officially ends and before you are initiated. (NOT a probate or hell week period) For some chapters it might be a week, in my chapter it's a few hours. In some chapters, "crossing" might be different from initiation for that reason.

That's not the case in my chapter, but I wanted to provide some additional perspective that could be relevant to this dude's experience.

so it could be just me? cool. thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

ETA: Since you also edited yours, I just wanted to point out that everything I mentioned is publicly accessible information on our website, in the pledging standards.

ETA: thanks again. never doubted you for a second.

Senusret I · #19 09-06-2007, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12dn94dst

so it could be just me? cool. thanks.

Naw, it's not just you.... I wasn't ready to hear the details either, lol

REE1993 · #20 09-07-2007, 07:38 AM

I have a suggestion. For argument's sake, let's say that the "rationalization" of hazing is to bring the pledges together. Get together with your pledge class and as a unit, tell the brothers that you refuse to "take wood". You can even tell them that "as a class, we are standing against this hazing" and that this is what they wanted, for you to bond.

My guess is that they aren't going to tell you all to go home. On the slight chance they do, then you can be proud that you stood up for yourself.

Good luck.

Senusret I · #21 09-07-2007, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by REE1993

My guess is that they aren't going to tell you all to go home. On the slight chance they do, then you can be proud that you stood up for yourself.

You'd be amazed at how few people realize this.

SydneyK · #22 09-07-2007, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dilemma44

The initiation process was always shrouded in mystery, but now I realize it involves taking wood. To me, it was only a reminder of all the lies my brothers had told me before I became one of them. I literally asked one of them if I was going to get paddled. They stared me in the eye and said no.

After rereading your initial post, I have to wonder whether you really *know* that initiation involves "taking wood" (what an awful phrase, btw). If your brothers told you it wouldn't, then why do you think they lied to you? Does the rest of your pledge class *know* about what's involved? How did you find out? Just wondering....

Dilemma44 · #23 09-07-2007, 03:06 PM

Because, they told us to make paddles and get ready to not be able to sit down for a few days? (in a non joking sort of way)

nittanyalum · #24 09-07-2007, 04:05 PM

My impression is that you're an upstanding guy with a pretty clear view of what's going on. I think you'd be an excellent brother and an asset to your frat, as was said before, you and your pledge brothers could be the change agents. Whether you do it before initiation and stand up against the hazing or decide to "take the wood" (I agree, awful term) and then be the brothers who refuse to haze from the inside, this could be your opportunity. You seem like you'd be a great GLO member, though. And it's lifelong, so do think carefully about whether you could live with your DA, know the organization probably won't change in your absence, and you don't have those bonds of brotherhood to enjoy past your years in college.

Dilemma44 · #25 09-07-2007, 10:08 PM

After a long and hard thought and after reviewing all the comments, I believe it would be best for me to DA. Yes, I could stay and be a catalyst for change, but that is not something that is very likely as there are more chapters, and we would have to convince all the chapters to change. It's just not something I have the time for. leaving the GLO is probably one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, however, I believe it is the right one. Not having time to pursue my scholastic career and try to change this fraternity, I cannot just stay either, watching what I believe to be an injustice go by just to enjoy the benefits of being in the fraternity.

Besides, the bonds I've made with my pledge bros are true. Hazing and the Rituals taught me that at least. I've told them about my decision, and they said they'll stand by me no matter what I do.

Its going to be hard breaking it to the brothers though.

I think i'll go professional. Thanks for all your help.

Senusret I · #26 09-07-2007, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dilemma44

Besides, the bonds I've made with my pledge bros are true. Hazing and the Rituals taught me that at least. I've told them about my decision, and they said they'll stand by me no matter what I do.

Yeah, you keep thinking that. I have NEVER met someone who dropped who was really still friends with the people who made it. In the back of their minds or in their hearts or wherever they keep it, they will always view you as the one who quit.

12dn94dst · #27 09-07-2007, 10:44 PM

true that, Senusret, true that.

tld221 · #28 09-07-2007, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Yeah, you keep thinking that. I have NEVER met someone who dropped who was really still friends with the people who made it. In the back of their minds or in their hearts or wherever they keep it, they will always view you as the one who quit.

word. ::flashbacks to Spr 06::

adpiucf · #29 09-08-2007, 02:15 PM

The organization probably won't change in your absence or even with your participation. Do what's best for you. If you're not getting out of it what you hoped, there's no shame in admitting it and looking for another activity that will bring you more satisfaction.

REE1993 · #30 09-08-2007, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dilemma44

Because, they told us to make paddles and get ready to not be able to sit down for a few days? (in a non joking sort of way)

Maybe they WERE joking. Why not just keep going until they try to do this? Imagine disaffiliating only to find out that they were joking. They could really play up the "way to trust a brother" line.

No matter what you decide, good luck. I just would hate for you to leave simply on speculation.

ETA: I hope that the OP comes back and lets us know what happened.