Helicopter Parents' Retro Recruitment Thread

[icelandelf]

I want to read about retro tales that also include pantyhose with sequins up the back.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by icelandelf

I want to read about retro tales that also include pantyhose with sequins up the back.

I'm still bummed about that. It was so much better than TV.

I'm for giving disappointed parents a designated section, but being as devoid of common sense as some of them appear, I doubt they will use it.

I also want to go ahead and say I think it's an issue that goes way beyond GC and we need to step up individually so the nut jobs don't succeed in creating a completely useless generation dependent on their parents for everything.

I want to emphasize that I don't think that even half (or even a quarter?) of the parents on GC are really helicopter types, but the ones who are should get no satisfaction here.

I don't think rudeness is the answer, but don't validate the ones who are overstepping.

(This is an issue I unfortunately have had ample opportunity to observe. What seems to happen is that the nutty ones, rather than being condemned for being the nut-job-offspring-cripplers they are, get what they want for their kids in the short term. Other parents then begin to wonder if their normal parenting is actually neglectful and begin to copy the helicopter style. Then the helicopters have to kick it up a notch even further to demonstrate their devoted parenting (because it is really about their fear of being inadequate rather than anything to do with the kid), and we're just in a terrible race to ruining a generation or two. We need to quit enabling the helicopters to mistake their over-involved yet dysfunctional parenting for good parenting. It can be as harmful or worse in result for the individual kids as neglectful parenting, and it's sure as heck worse for the rest of us.)

[Army Wife'79]

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

(This is an issue I unfortunately have had ample opportunity to observe. What seems to happen is that the nutty ones, rather than being condemned for being the nut-job-offspring-cripplers they are, get what they want for their kids in the short term. Other parents then begin to wonder if their normal parenting is actually neglectful and begin to copy the helicopter style. Then the helicopters have to kick it up a notch even further to demonstrate their devoted parenting (because it is really about their fear of being inadequate rather than anything to do with the kid), and we're just in a terrible race to ruining a generation or two. We need to quit enabling the helicopters to mistake their over-involved yet dysfunctional parenting for good parenting. It can be as harmful or worse in result for the individual kids as neglectful parenting, and it's sure as heck worse for the rest of us.)

This is so true. Back in MY day, parents never set foot in a high school until graduation day or maybe attend a Science Fair or something. In grade school we had room mothers who baked cupcakes for birthdays, that's it. Nobody had Parent Teacher conferences. If your parents had to go to school for a conference, that was VERY VERY bad. If you were doing fine and not a problem, no need for a conference. I have been made to feel guilty by peer parents for not watching my son (when he was in HS) at every practice and game. It is HIS hobby, HIS sport, not mine. I don't make him watch me quilt for 2 hours a week which is my hobby. I attended 2 games a year just to show support but the other Mom's thought I was almost abusive for not going to the games. I had the entire team over for dinner senior year which is a lot more effort than sitting in bleachers! I watched D at her yearly dance recital but certainly didn't watch every practice (which other Mom's did as they had one way glass and chairs set up to watch the girls). I think we are way too obsessed with our kids today and that's why they turn into "boomarang kids" and move back home when they can't function in the real world.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

This is so true. Back in MY day, parents never set foot in a high school until graduation day or maybe attend a Science Fair or something. In grade school we had room mothers who baked cupcakes for birthdays, that's it. Nobody had Parent Teacher conferences. If your parents had to go to school for a conference, that was VERY VERY bad. If you were doing fine and not a problem, no need for a conference. I have been made to feel guilty by peer parents for not watching my son (when he was in HS) at every practice and game. It is HIS hobby, HIS sport, not mine. I don't make him watch me quilt for 2 hours a week which is my hobby. I attended 2 games a year just to show support but the other Mom's thought I was almost abusive for not going to the games. I had the entire team over for dinner senior year which is a lot more effort than sitting in bleachers! I watched D at her yearly dance recital but certainly didn't watch every practice (which other Mom's did as they had one way glass and chairs set up to watch the girls). I think we are way too obsessed with our kids today and that's why they turn into "boomarang kids" and move back home when they can't function in the real world.

People are watching PRACTICE? That is insane! My parents came to almost all of my meets (living a block from the high school helps) but they never came to a practice. That's nuts. Those ladies need jobs.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

I have been made to feel guilty by peer parents for not watching my son (when he was in HS) at every practice and game. It is HIS hobby, HIS sport, not mine. I don't make him watch me quilt for 2 hours a week which is my hobby. I attended 2 games a year just to show support but the other Mom's thought I was almost abusive for not going to the games. I had the entire team over for dinner senior year which is a lot more effort than sitting in bleachers!

I'm certainly not going to call you abusive, but I think there is a big difference between being a helicopter parent and going to my kids' games. If my son was playing football or basketball or whatever, I'd be at every game -- not because I thought he couldn't do it without me or needed my help (the marks of helicopter parents), but because I would want to watch him play.

I watched D at her yearly dance recital but certainly didn't watch every practice (which other Mom's did as they had one way glass and chairs set up to watch the girls). I think we are way too obsessed with our kids today and that's why they turn into "boomarang kids" and move back home when they can't function in the real world.

I would never watch all the dance practices (or sports practices) either. But where I live lots of parents stay and watch the practices because there really isn't time for them to go anywhere else.

I can vouch for my two parents who never missed a game, recital, play or whetever that any of us were involved in, and they were about as far from helicopter parents as parents come -- their job, as they saw it, was to render themselves unnecessary.

Support =/= hovering. It's all in how it's balance.

[DeltAlum]

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

This is so true. Back in MY day, parents never set foot in a high school until graduation day or maybe attend a Science Fair or something.

That's a little hard core, isn't it?

We went to all of the events (plays, musicals, sports events) in which our kids were involved. We volunteered our help to support groups whenever asked. The ticket prices we paid helped support the programs.

That doesn't make a "helicopter" parent -- whatever that means.

When daughter number one went off to Ohio University for college, I drove over with her, helped her move into her condo and drove home. We saw her on holidays and summers, except for two times when I was in the area on business and dropped in and bought her lunch.

Same when our son went to the University of Oklahoma, I helped him move into the dorm and then drove home. We visited campus four or five times when he was in shows.

That is support -- pure and simple. If someone thinks that's wrong -- that's sad.

I understand the "stage mother" or extreme soccer mom syndrome, but let's not be too quick with the condemnation for the average family who wants to give their kids support in their formative years.

Or should all parents really stay away from school, watch the programs die because the schools can't afford to offer athletics, music, art and other humanities?

[UGAalum94]

No, you should attend performances, support the booster club, go to games, etc.

But you shouldn't try to meddle in everything to seek an advantage for your child or attended the practices and rehearsals for the events.

[justabeachbrat]

We need to quit enabling the helicopters to mistake their over-involved yet dysfunctional parenting for good parenting. It can be as harmful or worse in result for the individual kids as neglectful parenting, and it's sure as heck worse for the rest of us.)[/quote]

Didn't mean to bust up your quote (UGAalum94), but this involvement of helicopter parents in recruitment is only a reflection of what is going on in the working world.

A friend of mine is a newspaper editor in Texas. When we both graduated we were expected to be able to write a story on deadline and if anyone didn't, they were replaced. There was no calling mom/dad saying the boss was being mean or unfair. Had I done so, my mom or dad probably would have asked if I'd lost my mind.

Now, when my editor friend attempts to work with new graduates, some get teary eyed, and she has received some calls from a few parents, wanting to know why she was being so cruel to their child. Another friend has demoted himself out of management, in part, due to helicopter parents.

There was a segment on one of the morning shows on how a Wall Street firm of all places is trying to cope with the helicopter parents of prospective and new employees. They have a parents' day so the parents can feel less stressed and better about their child's work situation.

So, now that I am back in class for grad school, if I don't get what I want, maybe I'll call mom.

[skylark]

What if Mom-chat was a subset of the recruitment area? I think they need more than just a sticky or two.... I like SWTXBelle's idea of corralling them all in one place. It seems they are really just looking for the "shoulder to cry on" because people don't love their daughter as much as the mom thinks that everyone should and those sororities are just so mean! If they were all together they could get the kind of sympathy they are so seeking.

[WarEagle07]

I have heard a rumor of some mothers at UGA following their daughters during rush and touching up their makeup in between parties. Is this true?

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by WarEagle07

I have heard a rumor of some mothers at UGA following their daughters during rush and touching up their makeup in between parties. Is this true?

Are you serious?

I don't mean it to sound snippy; just don't want to mistake you if you are completely pulling our legs.

[WarEagle07]

Haha, I can see why you are taken aback because it is so far fetched! I really did hear of this happening this year! The source was a PNM who told her mom that she had actually seen this. I am completely serious!!

[WarEagle07]

I have a secret that is weighing heavily on my mind.....
I made my daughter get her own recs, do her own paperwork, write her own essay's, go to University orientation by herself, pick her own schedule, register herself and buy her own books.
I know now that I have been neglectful. Please don't turn me over to DFACS! ; )

[alum]

Many organizations that are geared for kids such as Scouting and youth sports insist that there is an extra parent at meetings/practices as a chaperone or just to keep the kid/adult balance under a certain ratio.

[Army Wife'79]

Oh sorry, my referencing to parents setting foot in the H.S. was meant for DAY TIME. Of course they came to the school musical (musicals were popular back then) and evening things they were invited to. Fast forward to MY kids H.S. days and there were parents in and out the H.S. all day long telling the teachers how to run their classes. My neice is a teacher and she says it is unbelievable.