Dropping my sorority

[NutBrnHair]

I know that unhappy members have been a part of every organization for decades, but it seems to be much more prevalent today. Some of the new members act like they are joining a health club. They are "really into it" for the first few weeks and then decide they aren't getting their money's worth. If we're not happy all of the time, if it's more responsibility than we thought, if we don't get along with everyone... then just quit. That's the answer.

Greek organizations are for a LIFETIME.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

I know that unhappy members have been a part of every organization for decades, but it seems to be much more prevalent today. Some of the new members act like they are joining a health club. They are "really into it" for the first few weeks and then decide they aren't getting their money's worth. If we're not happy all of the time, if it's more responsibility than we thought, if we don't get along with everyone... then just quit. That's the answer.

Greek organizations are for a LIFETIME.

No need to be patronizing. I already came to the conclusion on my own that I should probably cut my losses and quit. I asked for help in how to determine what the appropriate procedure is for dropping.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by pineapples

After not feeling satisfied with recruitment my freshman year, I eventually joined a chapter in August (this is my sophomore year). At first, I was really eager and excited about being a part of something so much bigger than myself and really immersed myself in all that greek life and my sorority had to offer - I met a lot of people, I did a lot of community service, I got a lot of cute t-shirts (ha!), but something never really 'clicked' for me. I think this was a result of a combination of things, from personal family stuff to my anxiety being horrible, and more specific to my chapter, there was not a very strong sisterhood at all, which was what I was really looking for. To avoid going into too much detail, the girls were not very nice. At the end of this semester, I knew that I needed to reevaluate, and after a lot of consideration, I am fairly confident that this chapter is just not for me.

I thought about transferring to a different school with my chapter, because I am not entirely happy at the university that I attend and there are other universities in my state with better programs for my major, but I am not positive that I will be able to transfer for financial reasons. If I can not transfer, I suppose what it is going to come down to is me dropping out of my sorority.

I don't want to ask anyone in my chapter how to go about this because I am not sure I will be dropping the sorority all together, so I figured that this would be a good place to ask! (this community has been really helpful for me before )

I assume the person I should get in touch with is my chapter president, correct? Will I need to go through standards and signing contracts, etcetera? What is the general procedure for dropping out, and what is the appropriate etiquette? Any help would be MUCH appreciated, I am slightly stressing about this already

You have been around for 5 months. There are people who have been around for 50+ years. Do try to put things into perspective before doing anything rash. You're throwing away your collegiate experience as well as a potential experience as an alumna.

[Tom Earp]

Hm, nice call!

Sympathy is where in the dictionary?

[violetgeek]

You say you are in awe of several of your Alum Advisors. Have you talked to any of them? Not about the procedure but on how you feel? It is my experience (over 30 years a member) that many of the more active Alumnae I've known were not the "super member" during college. Many of us, me included, didn't really fall in love with our Fraternity until after college. While the college experience was fun, most of the time, I really didn't connect that deeply with many of my chapter sisters. It's the sisters from other chapters, other parts of the country, different ages, that have made me really feel like I fit in. For me at least, it took more than a few years for every thing to sink in! I'd hate for you to give up on something now that might have great meaning for you for many years to come.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by violetgeek

You say you are in awe of several of your Alum Advisors. Have you talked to any of them? Not about the procedure but on how you feel? It is my experience (over 30 years a member) that many of the more active Alumnae I've known were not the "super member" during college. Many of us, me included, didn't really fall in love with our Fraternity until after college. While the college experience was fun, most of the time, I really didn't connect that deeply with many of my chapter sisters. It's the sisters from other chapters, other parts of the country, different ages, that have made me really feel like I fit in. For me at least, it took more than a few years for every thing to sink in! I'd hate for you to give up on something now that might have great meaning for you for many years to come.

I haven't, even though I really think that is going to be my first action that I take once I return back to school. It's slightly intimidating because I don't want to disappoint them, but at some point I'm going to need to discuss this with someone who can give me a more definitive answer, and if not, some guidance.

Missing out on connecting with women all over the country after college is one of the things that I will really miss if I drop, from day 1 of recruitment this is something that I expressed serious interest in to my chapter. I am going to look into what steps I can take to be granted early alumni status - if possible. I think that is the ideal situation for me.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by pineapples

After not feeling satisfied with recruitment my freshman year

Shyeah. Methinks this was where the problem started. To spell it out, maybe if you would have stuck with it and given the chapters a chance who gave you a chance, they would have been the "nice" girls you wanted. Some girls think they can choose and/or stick with a GLO strictly based on ritual and mottoes and philanthropy and networking opportunities, but NPC recruitment just doesn't work that way.

If you're not transferring next semester, contact your national headquarters and they will let you know the proper procedure for self-termination. As others mentioned, do this ASAP before you and/or the chapter are on the hook for another $2000.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Shyeah. Methinks this was where the problem started. To spell it out, maybe if you would have stuck with it and given the chapters a chance who gave you a chance, they would have been the "nice" girls you wanted. Some girls think they can choose and/or stick with a GLO strictly based on ritual and mottoes and philanthropy and networking opportunities, but NPC recruitment just doesn't work that way.

If you're not transferring next semester, contact your national headquarters and they will let you know the proper procedure for self-termination. As others mentioned, do this ASAP before you and/or the chapter are on the hook for another $2000.

Well, I don't disagree with you there. Even though my dissatisfaction with recruitment the first time around was due to heavy grade-based cuts, I am sure that I joined the wrong chapter for me - but that's a whole different story there.

Thank you for answering my question!

[Titchou]

You know, it's about the lifetime experience, not 2-3 years of college. Seems to me that you are more interested in the wedding than the marriage.

[ASUADPi]

OMG everything I typed was just lost. Damn you greekchat.

Ugh

I don't want to retype it all. Pineapples, I had a story for you, if you wanna "hear" it, feel free to PM me.

I know you aren't a theta, if you are an ADPi please feel free to contact me. I do know women in other chapters, if you need a recommendation of who to talk to please feel free to contact me.

[SoCalGirl]

You should have access to your chapter's bylaws. They should have something about dropping your membership or even a leave of absence.

If not, I would say ask to meet with your new member educator and chapter president privately. Yes, they'll try to talk you out of your decision. If they don't, you really are making the right choice.

You'll likely need to write a letter to the chapter. It doesn't likely need to get into the why but it needs to clearly say "I've decided to end my membership". The chapter may, or may not, need to take a vote. You may need to sign some forms. You'll need to pay any outstanding dues, including the rest of this semester.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

You should have access to your chapter's bylaws. They should have something about dropping your membership or even a leave of absence.

If not, I would say ask to meet with your new member educator and chapter president privately. Yes, they'll try to talk you out of your decision. If they don't, you really are making the right choice.

You'll likely need to write a letter to the chapter. It doesn't likely need to get into the why but it needs to clearly say "I've decided to end my membership". The chapter may, or may not, need to take a vote. You may need to sign some forms. You'll need to pay any outstanding dues, including the rest of this semester.

I've checked and rechecked the bylaws with no luck.

I hope my chapter doesn't need to vote me out, I'm not a big fan of having attention on me, I was hoping I could go out quietly thank you!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by pineapples

I've checked and rechecked the bylaws with no luck.

I hope my chapter doesn't need to vote me out, I'm not a big fan of having attention on me, I was hoping I could go out quietly thank you!

From my sorority, I've never heard of a member who wants to self-terminate having to be voted out by the chapter. (Whether the national org accepts her termination is another story) Every group is different.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by 33girl

From my sorority, I've never heard of a member who wants to self-terminate having to be voted out by the chapter. (Whether the national org accepts her termination is another story) Every group is different.

In AOII you have to. Don't know why, but you do. It's an awkward discussion every single time.

[AZTheta]

pineapples, please - you need to contact your own sorority. Either locally, or your headquarters.

I'm repeating this because other NPC sororities may or may not offer an early alumnae option. And it isn't solely a chapter decision, it may well be a national/international policy.

We don't have any idea whether or not you'd qualify for early alumnae status; your only option may be to resign. So let the side convo(s) go. And DON'T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET BACK TO SCHOOL if you are dead set on resigning. Do it NOW. (caps for emphasis).