Dropping my sorority
 

After not feeling satisfied with recruitment my freshman year, I eventually joined a chapter in August (this is my sophomore year). At first, I was really eager and excited about being a part of something so much bigger than myself and really immersed myself in all that greek life and my sorority had to offer - I met a lot of people, I did a lot of community service, I got a lot of cute t-shirts (ha!), but something never really 'clicked' for me. I think this was a result of a combination of things, from personal family stuff to my anxiety being horrible, and more specific to my chapter, there was not a very strong sisterhood at all, which was what I was really looking for. To avoid going into too much detail, the girls were not very nice. At the end of this semester, I knew that I needed to reevaluate, and after a lot of consideration, I am fairly confident that this chapter is just not for me.

I thought about transferring to a different school with my chapter, because I am not entirely happy at the university that I attend and there are other universities in my state with better programs for my major, but I am not positive that I will be able to transfer for financial reasons. If I can not transfer, I suppose what it is going to come down to is me dropping out of my sorority.

I don't want to ask anyone in my chapter how to go about this because I am not sure I will be dropping the sorority all together, so I figured that this would be a good place to ask! (this community has been really helpful for me before :p)

I assume the person I should get in touch with is my chapter president, correct? Will I need to go through standards and signing contracts, etcetera? What is the general procedure for dropping out, and what is the appropriate etiquette? Any help would be MUCH appreciated, I am slightly stressing about this already :(

QFP

I'm not going to try to talk you in to sticking around because you seem to have your mind made up. However, it's been ~5 months, some of which was Thanksgiving and Winter breaks. Do you really feel like you've seen all this group has to offer in the short time you've been around?
If you end up quitting, so be it. But don't expect the girls to still want to be friends.
If you stick with it actively participate. Don't be a deadbeat and blame the chapter because "it never clicked" for you.

Exactly.

Keep in mind that the chapter will change, too. Seniors will graduate and new members will come in. I assume you've already been initiated, so I'd say you should give it another semester or two before you decide to drop. Make an effort to befriend the sisters and especially the new members next semester. Take on a leadership position or join a committee. Get involved. Everyone here is going to tell you the same thing; you get out of Greek life what you put into it.

True, it has been only ~5 months, but if I'm not in love with it then I'm not comfortable paying upwards of $2000 to continue to be a part of it.

The reasons that I wanted to be a part of greek life do not align with what I feel that this chapter has to offer - end of story. That does not make me a deadbeat and I am not blaming the chapter, there is just a serious disconnect there. I don't want to be in a sorority just for the sake of being in a sorority.

I am asking if anyone knows the proper procedure for dropping is.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone in your chapter about this yet because you haven't ultimately made a decision, I would recommend maybe sending a private message to someone that is in your sorority here on GC. At least that way you can get some information specific to your organization. Not every sorority's procedures are going to be the same, so advice offered may not be correct if it comes from someone outside of your particular sorority.

I've thought about this a lot, and I would love to see my chapter change an be successful in the coming years. Something I've thought about a lot is coming back in 10 or so years and seeing my chapter flourishing and have an awesome sisterhood, but when it comes down to it, it's just not a worthy investment in terms of time and money right now if I'm unhappy. I'm in a committee, I've organized events, I attend everything, I've met a lot of great people (especially alumni - I am in complete awe of some of our advisors), and I still just feel like there is something missing.

Maybe it IS me. I'm not sure.

I want to love it, I genuinely do, but it's just not something I can force, and I hate feeling this way about something that I feel like I should be crazy about.

I figured each sorority had different procedures - I will look into this. Thank you! I've tried looking it up in my sorority's bylaws and handbooks but haven't had much luck.

Contact your regional/area collegiate person (adult alum) or your HQ's collegiate services department. Either should be able to tell you the procedure and any options you may have based on your particular situation. Please be sure to give them all your pertinent information.

Lane swerve/

The username made me chuckle.

/lane swerve

You have been around for 5 months. There are people who have been around for 50+ years. Do try to put things into perspective before doing anything rash. You're throwing away your collegiate experience as well as a potential experience as an alumna.

Do I recall that this is the second sorority that you pledged? If so, then perhaps you are right that sorority life might not be a good fit for you. You feel the way you feel.

ETA: please do not transfer schools thinking or hoping that another chapter will be different. Please concentrate on what is best for your education. That is the MOST important thing, not a sorority.

Hm, nice call!

Sympathy is where in the dictionary?

Putting the confusion aside (not sure if you are transferring, want to resign, or what, based on all you've written):

If you are a Kappa Alpha Theta, feel free to PM me and I can explain the process of resigning your membership. Your options are limited and you need to act quickly if that is your choice. There are financial responsibilities and obligations that kick in as soon as the semester starts.

The individual chapter's by-laws likely do not address this, because it is in the (inter)national constitution/bylaws. Does that make sense?

lol, I'm glad :o I'm not very good at choosing usernames, obviously