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You say you are in awe of several of your Alum Advisors. Have you talked to any of them? Not about the procedure but on how you feel? It is my experience (over 30 years a member) that many of the more active Alumnae I've known were not the "super member" during college. Many of us, me included, didn't really fall in love with our Fraternity until after college. While the college experience was fun, most of the time, I really didn't connect that deeply with many of my chapter sisters. It's the sisters from other chapters, other parts of the country, different ages, that have made me really feel like I fit in. For me at least, it took more than a few years for every thing to sink in! I'd hate for you to give up on something now that might have great meaning for you for many years to come.
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