How to Ask If Someone is Greek

[Missouri Ivy]

It definitely pays to be observant. I wear my badge to work on special days, like Founders Day, and always mention my sorority affiliation to my Jr. High students when we discuss Ancient Greece in world history. One student passed the information on to her big sister who was going to college the next fall. I was more than happy to write her a recommendation when she asked.

[DubaiSis]

I'm not a fan of mom doing all the work (and you know there are plenty out there who do the entire process on behalf of special snowflake), but like someone said above, when it's really important, all help is good. BUT, if Friend of Mom has been a lifelong friend and daughter has known FOM her whole life, she should make the contact. It's good practice. And in any case mom can make initial inquiries and daughter can follow up later to actually arrange an interview, send the resume, pics, etc.

Getting ready for rush, like planning a wedding, is definitely a team sport. But the daughter should be the quarterback.

In this particular case, our OP seems to be on top of it and is looking for a strategy. Fantastic. This tells me she's not expecting mommy to just handle it. If FOM in this case isn't someone you know particularly well, let mom take the lead. And also, I don't think you need to be terribly oblique about it. I mean, you don't want to walk up to strangers and ask if they're sorority women, but point blank asking your parents' friends, teachers, your adopted summer parents, etc. (people you know well) makes complete sense to me. They all know you going off to college is a big deal and that it's the epicenter of your life right now

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

On another note, please make sure your resume is complete. This year I have gotten several with no academic information, work history, etc. It makes it a lot more difficult for the rec writer.

I have received resumes without phone numbers

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

There seem to be two camps on GC in regards to soliciting recommendations: those who think it is okay for mom, friends or relatives to assist in finding recs., and those who think it is better for the PNM to find them herself. I belong to the first camp.

I agree partially. AFAIC, it's ok for a PNM to tap her parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, etc. for leads on who might write a rec, but it should be the PNM herself who picks up the phone and calls, say, her mother's best friend from college, or her own former babysitter, or her brother's girlfriend, and says, "Hey, I'm Sally PNM, how are you? Long time no see. How's life? Hey, I remember your telling me that you're an XYZ, and I'm going to be rushing at Whatsamatta U this fall - would you write me a letter of recommendation?" Then the sister will hopefully say something like, "Sure, here's my email address, send me a resume, and while I have you on the phone, let's chat so I can make the letter more personal." And, yes, even in this day and age, the initial contact should be a phone call, not an email.

As for the original question of how to ask if someone is greek - just ask! If you do see your distant friend face to face, ask her. "I understand you went to Whatsamatta U and so did your daughters. Did any of you join any of the sororities there?" If not, give her a call and ask her that same question, and talk about recs.

We don't bite ... promise