How to Ask If Someone is Greek

[FSUZeta]

There seem to be two camps on GC in regards to soliciting recommendations: those who think it is okay for mom, friends or relatives to assist in finding recs., and those who think it is better for the PNM to find them herself. I belong to the first camp.

Under the circumstances that you may not get to see the friend yourself, it should be fine for mom to make the initial contact-then you can handle it from there on out, with a phone call, email or skype if friend and/or daughters (or people they know) are sorority members.

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

There seem to be two camps on GC in regards to soliciting recommendations: those who think it is okay for mom, friends or relatives to assist in finding recs., and those who think it is better for the PNM to find them herself. I belong to the first camp.

Under the circumstances that you may not get to see the friend yourself, it should be fine for mom to make the initial contact-then you can handle it from there on out, with a phone call, email or skype if friend and/or daughters (or people they know) are sorority members.

I agree -- I even think it would be perfectly fine for mom to give them a call now.

IMO it is probably best for the PNM to ask teachers and people mom may not know personally, and to do the follow-up with all (including people who are mom's contacts), but I think it is fine for moms to ask their friends and contacts (dads too).

This is common practice -- where I am anyway. Gathering the recs needed for recruitment at these schools is quite an undertaking, and parents are often very involved with the process.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

There seem to be two camps on GC in regards to soliciting recommendations: those who think it is okay for mom, friends or relatives to assist in finding recs., and those who think it is better for the PNM to find them herself. I belong to the first camp.

I agree partially. AFAIC, it's ok for a PNM to tap her parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, etc. for leads on who might write a rec, but it should be the PNM herself who picks up the phone and calls, say, her mother's best friend from college, or her own former babysitter, or her brother's girlfriend, and says, "Hey, I'm Sally PNM, how are you? Long time no see. How's life? Hey, I remember your telling me that you're an XYZ, and I'm going to be rushing at Whatsamatta U this fall - would you write me a letter of recommendation?" Then the sister will hopefully say something like, "Sure, here's my email address, send me a resume, and while I have you on the phone, let's chat so I can make the letter more personal." And, yes, even in this day and age, the initial contact should be a phone call, not an email.

As for the original question of how to ask if someone is greek - just ask! If you do see your distant friend face to face, ask her. "I understand you went to Whatsamatta U and so did your daughters. Did any of you join any of the sororities there?" If not, give her a call and ask her that same question, and talk about recs.

We don't bite ... promise